This girl and I have known each other over a year. She texted me within days of me giving her my business card. There was immediate attraction. I'm 34 she's 23.
We've been out a few times since we met, and a month ago I invited her out, she came out after a nine-hour shift and all the way to my side of the city. We drank for three hours, had great conversation like we always do, then she came back to my place. She put the moves on me, we finally had sex and she spent the night, naked in my arms, then took me out for breakfast and walked with me around the city for a while. She sort of got a little distant over the next couple weeks after that, so I asked her to call me about four weeks ago and she did within a couple of hours, even after I told her why I wanted to talk, and I basically said to her,
"Look, I have a great time when I'm with you and we really connect. I'd like to date you and explore this with you, but I'm getting the sense that this isn't the right time for you for whatever reason. I'm putting the ball in your court. Get in touch with me when you're single and available and if I'm still single, we can pick this up again."
She told me she really likes me and she'd totally date me, and she was trying to get out of a bad situation with her ex bf, so she doesn't feel free to date right now. So we said our goodbyes after that, but we're still connected on LinkedIn.
It's been almost four weeks, and haven't heard anything. Obviously, I haven't said anything at all. No texts, no calls, no LinkedIn or anything else. I have the bar exam to tango with in three weeks anyway. Thoughts?
I'll add that she has gotten distant before. The first time was when we first started hanging out. She asked me to call her and I did, and she told me it wasn't the right time. I said good luck, ball's in your court. She got in touch six days later on a Saturday night, but I was out of town. Then she got unresponsive over last summer while I was working out of town for a few weeks, but she had Read Receipts on her texts. I sent one after ten days of silence just to say hello, she read it, and ignored it, so I said the same thing: "good luck, wish you the best." Went silent for three weeks, then she reached out, which led to a date when I got back into town and some serious making out.
I will point out again, she knew why I wanted to talk to her on the phone before she called me, I had told her via text. She called me right when she said she would, which I doubt she would have done had she not wanted to hear it. Also, she thanked me for being vulnerable and telling her what I wanted.
It's like we can pick up after months and fall right back into our connection. Do women just reach out months later if you essentially drop off the face of the earth because they're otherwise involved?
Don't get me wrong - I've got plenty of opportunities. I've got about 15 different phone numbers to work with once the bar exam is over. And I fully intend to be completely focused on having the time of my life with a bevy of beautiful women. And one thing that this whole process of deep, intense studying has taught me, it's getting to be really comfortable on your own and feeling like you don't need anyone or anything. And the confidence of meeting an almost unsurmountable, ridiculous challenge for yourself and your own career. It's really empowering and I can't wait for life on the other side of this exam.
Anyway - I'm just posting to ask, once I'm spinning all these plates and really enjoying life, does my take it or leave it posture lead her back to me at some point, or do I never hear from her again? I'd love the opportunity to see her again, but it's really up to her to get herself sorted out and make contact.
We've been out a few times since we met, and a month ago I invited her out, she came out after a nine-hour shift and all the way to my side of the city. We drank for three hours, had great conversation like we always do, then she came back to my place. She put the moves on me, we finally had sex and she spent the night, naked in my arms, then took me out for breakfast and walked with me around the city for a while. She sort of got a little distant over the next couple weeks after that, so I asked her to call me about four weeks ago and she did within a couple of hours, even after I told her why I wanted to talk, and I basically said to her,
"Look, I have a great time when I'm with you and we really connect. I'd like to date you and explore this with you, but I'm getting the sense that this isn't the right time for you for whatever reason. I'm putting the ball in your court. Get in touch with me when you're single and available and if I'm still single, we can pick this up again."
She told me she really likes me and she'd totally date me, and she was trying to get out of a bad situation with her ex bf, so she doesn't feel free to date right now. So we said our goodbyes after that, but we're still connected on LinkedIn.
It's been almost four weeks, and haven't heard anything. Obviously, I haven't said anything at all. No texts, no calls, no LinkedIn or anything else. I have the bar exam to tango with in three weeks anyway. Thoughts?
I'll add that she has gotten distant before. The first time was when we first started hanging out. She asked me to call her and I did, and she told me it wasn't the right time. I said good luck, ball's in your court. She got in touch six days later on a Saturday night, but I was out of town. Then she got unresponsive over last summer while I was working out of town for a few weeks, but she had Read Receipts on her texts. I sent one after ten days of silence just to say hello, she read it, and ignored it, so I said the same thing: "good luck, wish you the best." Went silent for three weeks, then she reached out, which led to a date when I got back into town and some serious making out.
I will point out again, she knew why I wanted to talk to her on the phone before she called me, I had told her via text. She called me right when she said she would, which I doubt she would have done had she not wanted to hear it. Also, she thanked me for being vulnerable and telling her what I wanted.
It's like we can pick up after months and fall right back into our connection. Do women just reach out months later if you essentially drop off the face of the earth because they're otherwise involved?
Don't get me wrong - I've got plenty of opportunities. I've got about 15 different phone numbers to work with once the bar exam is over. And I fully intend to be completely focused on having the time of my life with a bevy of beautiful women. And one thing that this whole process of deep, intense studying has taught me, it's getting to be really comfortable on your own and feeling like you don't need anyone or anything. And the confidence of meeting an almost unsurmountable, ridiculous challenge for yourself and your own career. It's really empowering and I can't wait for life on the other side of this exam.
Anyway - I'm just posting to ask, once I'm spinning all these plates and really enjoying life, does my take it or leave it posture lead her back to me at some point, or do I never hear from her again? I'd love the opportunity to see her again, but it's really up to her to get herself sorted out and make contact.
