"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is she leading me on or expecting me to make a move?

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Sgthaytham

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We don't chat as much as we used to because I'm extremely busy and I kind of wanted it to die down a bit - I kind of lost interest in her and thought backing away would help.

Anyway, for the third time in as many months she gets in touch out of the blue.

She sent "(my nickname that she gave me)?"

I don't really know what to make of it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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fanatic22

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You were the one who lost interest so how is she “leading you on”? Yes, she wants you to ask her out.
 
RangerMIke

RangerMIke

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When chicks want to go out with you they send you messages like this. If you want her, make a date. If you don't thank her for staying in touch but that you are busy... She will get the message and be onto her next best option.
 
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Sgthaytham

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RangerMIke said:
When chicks want to go out with you they send you messages like this. If you want her, make a date. If you don't thank her for staying in touch but that you are busy... She will get the message and be onto her next best option.
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She came over to my town with her friends for New Year. I asked if she wanted to meet up, but she kept bringing up her friends, so I kind of gave up and that's when I stopped talking.
 
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fanatic22

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Sgthaytham said:
She came over to my town with her friends for New Year. I asked if she wanted to meet up, but she kept bringing up her friends, so I kind of gave up and that's when I stopped talking.
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Have you previously dated this girl? Does she consider you a friend?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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fanatic22

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Sgthaytham said:
No, we haven't dated.
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Ok, gonna need more details to help you. If she has never showed romantic interest she could be looking for a friend or an orbiter, though hitting you up 3x for friendship seems unlikely. Just directly ask her out and if she says no or gives you a bs excuse you’ll have your answer. Sounds like she lives far away and is generally a waste of time.
 
Glassguy

Glassguy

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Ask her out.

Its either yes and set the date OR

Maybe, we will see, no, we are friends or anything else other than a yes.

You will get the answer very quickly.
 
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