is she just not attracted to me??

[expos]

so...I have two options

1. tell her "hey its been fun getting to know you but I think we should just be friends"
2. or go ghost on her ass like others here are reccomending, come back with the chance to somewhat reinvent myself and by some small chance get the ball back in my court.

both decisions make sense to me...im digging the first option, im kind of leaning towards it because it would be great to **** with her... but the second option seems more practical.

I can almost envision what this girl looks like. I hate her and I don't even know her.

In regards to your 1 or 2 options...do both. Reject her to make her mad. She is the one who supposed to say LJBF so she is not used to this treatment or rejection. Then go ghost and totally infuriate her.

Then, when she starts pulling you back in, you have established power.

 

[captain55]

thanks expos.

also just out of curiositiy (for anyone)...do you think that maybe she's not playing with me, and really doesn't like the attention....but doesn't want to tell me to **** off cause she doesn't want to hurt my feelings? hope that isn't the case...

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I see what you mean bro but Im also a realist....this chick makes more in a month what I make in a whole year ..... bachelor's degree....I drive a pickup and make minimum wage Im technically a loser....I have a good body and my face is alright, so I do ok....but all in all this ***** is out of my league and she knows it, I know it.....

Really? In your internal dialogue you call yourself a loser? You need to drop that shvt pronto. Thoughts and beliefs about yourself manifest themselves as behaviors. And believe me, she can smell how you think about yourself subconsciously. It comes through in your vibe. She did say you weren't being yourself didn't she or something like that? Your outside behavior (grab her ass alpha) is not congruent with the inner you (im a loser, not worthy).

You put yourself below her from the beginning based upon what? Societal determined factors of success? That's outside validation. Get your validation from within. Subconsciously you don't think you are worthy but if you play it just the right way you might just be able to score. Maybe, but you would never be able to keep her. Out of your league? She sounds rotten based on what you wrote.

"Losers" have been banging hot chicks for as long as I've been around. Its a meaningless designation. Guys like drug dealers, strip club bouncers, degenerates, douchebags, unemployed, etc. They get girls because they don't care if they don't and many have the absence of inner dialogues like yourself. No pedestals, girls are just girls.

My advice is to just ghost. Its too broken. Any LJBF is a technique and wouldn't be congruent. Let it go, work on your mindset, and be better with your next plate.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I see what you mean bro but Im also a realist....this chick makes more in a month what I make in a whole year ..... bachelor's degree....I drive a pickup and make minimum wage Im technically a loser....I have a good body and my face is alright, so I do ok....but all in all this ***** is out of my league and she knows it, I know it.....

Really? In your internal dialogue you call yourself a loser? You need to drop that shvt pronto. Thoughts and beliefs about yourself manifest themselves as behaviors. And believe me, she can smell how you think about yourself subconsciously. It comes through in your vibe. She did say you weren't being yourself didn't she or something like that? Your outside behavior (grab her ass alpha) is not congruent with the inner you (im a loser, not worthy).

You put yourself below her from the beginning based upon what? Societal determined factors of success? That's outside validation. Get your validation from within. Subconsciously you don't think you are worthy but if you play it just the right way you might just be able to score. Maybe, but you would never be able to keep her. Out of your league? She sounds rotten based on what you wrote.

"Losers" have been banging hot chicks for as long as I've been around. Its a meaningless designation. Guys like drug dealers, strip club bouncers, degenerates, douchebags, unemployed, etc. They get girls because they don't care if they don't and many have the absence of inner dialogues like yourself. No pedestals, girls are just girls.

 

[floydb25]

Im 20 years old, she is 5 years older than me...two important texts I think I should tell you guys she sent me..after the first date.

I pissed her off with something I said (jokingly and she took it the wrong way)
she goes...
"your age is showing.."
I told her "whatever Im trying to make you forget my age its not important really"
she doesn't respond...
day later...she
next day she sends me a text message sayings "its not about age its about maturity. besides you shouldn't have to act at all to date or be friends with someone. Secondly if you want me to take you seriously, your going to need to get some more money so you can take a girl out to do something that aint free like a walk on the beach.... I know your young and new to the area so Im not judging you, Im just being honest. And lastly cursing so much at a girl is definitely not attractive...neither is grabbing her ass on the first "date".

After the second date, I sent her a somewhat personal text "I had fun with you" seeing if she would respond to it, I was hoping she wouldn't respond but she said "I had fun with you too"

Duuuuuuude... this girl is a *****. She's insulting you, disrespecting you, being a condescending / sarcastic smartass ("your age is showing"), telling you what you're doing "wrong", and making you feel inferior - then trying to "advise" you on what you can do to satisfy the holy princess... without a reward in sight. Oh, but maybe she might like you if you obey her every wish.

Like I said, she views you as a chump, and she's a *****, so she's pushing you around. Like any good assh0le, she says "not trying to judge you, but..."

She's also high maintenance, and thinks she's something special.

The problem is when you say (in another post) that you want to be "that guy". This is an approval-seeking mindset, and making her the prize. Do NOT let her boss you around, nitpick your mistakes, tell you what you're doing wrong, etc. Don't give her all the power - while she acts like a stuck up **** - and you keep obeying and grasping for straws. The only "reward" is being bullied / controlled by a worthless **** - until your self-esteem takes a ****.

This ***** is garbage. A bully. Don't take this kind of **** from anyone. Don't let them criticize you, place you beneath them, and tell you what you "need" to do. She ain't the royal judge of ****, and isn't a special snowflake... In fact, she probably acts like this due to her own insecurities and failures. Who cares what she thinks? **** her.

Online dating is a cesspool of worthless losers like her. You know all those losers and *******s you see outside? The scrubs who do nothing except bully, judge, criticize, act like retards, and think they're something special and know everything and what's best for everyone? Yea, that's what you find there.

 

[floydb25]

I can almost envision what this girl looks like. I hate her and I don't even know her.

In regards to your 1 or 2 options...do both. Reject her to make her mad. She is the one who supposed to say LJBF so she is not used to this treatment or rejection. Then go ghost and totally infuriate her.

Then, when she starts pulling you back in, you have established power.

Agreed.. I hate her too, and used to associate with ****-offs like her. But she might like the "abuse" (being an abuser herself), and respond favorably to such treatment. Then it's all chaos from there.

I'd just straight up tell her to **** off.

 

[captain55]

Duuuuuuude... this girl is a *****. She's insulting you, disrespecting you, being a condescending / sarcastic smartass ("your age is showing"), telling you what you're doing "wrong", and making you feel inferior - then trying to "advise" you on what you can do to satisfy the holy princess... without a reward in sight. Oh, but maybe she might like you if you obey her every wish.

Like I said, she views you as a chump, and she's a *****, so she's pushing you around. Like any good assh0le, she says "not trying to judge you, but..."

She's also high maintenance, and thinks she's something special.

The problem is when you say (in another post) that you want to be "that guy". This is an approval-seeking mindset, and making her the prize. Do NOT let her boss you around, nitpick your mistakes, tell you what you're doing wrong, etc. Don't give her all the power - while she acts like a stuck up **** - and you keep obeying and grasping for straws. The only "reward" is being bullied / controlled by a worthless **** - until your self-esteem takes a ****.

This ***** is garbage. A bully. Don't take this kind of **** from anyone. Don't let them criticize you, place you beneath them, and tell you what you "need" to do. She ain't the royal judge of ****, and isn't a special snowflake... In fact, she probably acts like this due to her own insecurities and failures. Who cares what she thinks? **** her.

Online dating is a cesspool of worthless losers like her. You know all those losers and *******s you see outside? The scrubs who do nothing except bully, judge, criticize, act like retards, and think they're something special and know everything and what's best for everyone? Yea, that's what you find there.

I hear you brother, and thankyou for your response and time. Prior to the first date, she would often say/hint "guys not going to get in my pants on the second date"

while we were on the beach on the first date she always kept teasing me flirting with me...
"you might have to carry me the water is getting cold"
"im gonna have to clean my car out in the morning. You can clean it"
"have you ever slept on the beach?"

I know she's a piece of ****, but i like her and theres nothing i can do about it. I tried going out to the club last night and talk to a few other women...didnt really help get my mind off her... you know you really like a girl, when there are women prettier than her who are more into you, but you dont give a **** cause your so stuck on her. shes just a 7 bro.....and for the life of me i cant figure out why I am falling for her so hard.

also about the high maintence....a few hours to the third date i text her asking her if she wanted to go out for dinner. She made it sound like she was availbale ...I text her
"ok Im on my way"

 

[captain55]

I havent even finished, theres alot more...but ill finish it off with this other text off the top of my head.

most recent date...i text her on a monday night, asking if she was available tuesday for dinner. She said yes...I tell her ill call her in the afternoon. So I set something up...I tthen text her "ok Im on my way"
20 minutes later she goes "wow hold up where are we going? because i havent said Im going yet and am most certainly not dressed yet"...

after i was already on the highway...



the date before that were at a baseball game ... while were at the game, she goes " i have to go to the bathroom, Ill be right back"....but the way she said it was so ****ing snotty, her head tilted, nose in the air...oversized sunglasses. When she came back it really pissed me off because I saw her texting someone, and i knew she was going off to call some guy....so I told her "anyone tell you you look stuck up as ****?"
she goes "why did i have my nose in the air?"
im like "little bit"
she "well you must really like stuck up girls then"

after the game finished she goes "your car is over there right?" pointing to it so I dont follower her back to the car and try to kiss her like last time...she then says

"Id invite you to go downtown with me to the club but..(pats me on the shoulder in a teasing type of way because she knows Im 20 and cant get into any bars or clubs because of my age"
and gives me a hug.... and goes "text me ...text me"..

 

[floydb25]

You're crazy about her because she's presenting a strong challenge, making herself the prize, keeping you beneath her (and in a pursuit mode), etc. This is what attracts people to bad types, and why it "makes no sense". Attraction isn't logical, and has nothing to do with character. They're also aggressive and assertive, which submissive types tend to attract.

These are the positive, attractive qualities of bad types. But they're not actual good qualities, and are imbedded in a dog**** person. You THINK she's being a challenge - when she's really just a stuck up *****. It's easy to mistake this kind of stuff.

But I'm suspecting low self-esteem as the core issue here. You say you're a loser, act like she's better than you, tolerate all of her crap, keep going back for more, etc. She's treating you as you feel you deserve.

FYI: Low self-esteemers attract bullies and *******s like her.

Nothing good is going to come of this, but it is what it is. I suspect you'll continue on, and get treated like dog****. But I've been there. You'll learn to respect yourself and avoid losers after a few horrid experiences like this. And she IS a loser. No good qualities, and not even that great looking.

But, just for the **** of it: learn to seperate attraction from character, and think with your head. As well, work on your self-esteem, and any co-dependancy, desperation, approval-seeking issues. And DON'T EVER sympathize, make up excuses for, or try to change and "love" bad people by being their doormat-slave. They won't change, and you won't be rewarded with ****. But this mindset is a result of the above issues. Look them up... seriously. Especially co-dependancy. Do all that, and you won't get tangled up in losers or *******s like her.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, the quicker you get rid of her, the better. Your princess is in another castle. Aren't you listening to floydb25? This sh*t was doomed the minute you put her on the pedestal.

God damn it! Move on!

 

[VladPatton]

I havent even finished, theres alot more...but ill finish it off with this other text off the top of my head.

most recent date...i text her on a monday night, asking if she was available tuesday for dinner. She said yes...I tell her ill call her in the afternoon. So I set something up...I tthen text her "ok Im on my way"
20 minutes later she goes "wow hold up where are we going? because i havent said Im going yet and am most certainly not dressed yet"...

after i was already on the highway...



the date before that were at a baseball game ... while were at the game, she goes " i have to go to the bathroom, Ill be right back"....but the way she said it was so ****ing snotty, her head tilted, nose in the air...oversized sunglasses. When she came back it really pissed me off because I saw her texting someone, and i knew she was going off to call some guy....so I told her "anyone tell you you look stuck up as ****?"
she goes "why did i have my nose in the air?"
im like "little bit"
she "well you must really like stuck up girls then"

after the game finished she goes "your car is over there right?" pointing to it so I dont follower her back to the car and try to kiss her like last time...she then says

"Id invite you to go downtown with me to the club but..(pats me on the shoulder in a teasing type of way because she knows Im 20 and cant get into any bars or clubs because of my age"
and gives me a hug.... and goes "text me ...text me"..

LOL. You're not going to learn any time soon, and all of our collected advice is not registering with you. You are developing terminal oneitis and are refusing our experience as your medication.

I say go for broke, man. Keep going out with her and convince her at all emotional and financial cost that she is the one for you. Be relentless. Pursue her to the ends of the earth. She IS the one! Just do us all a favor, and come back in six months and tell us how it's working out for you.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/12/2010/10/017fface30f98610661f924afef3e0fe/340x.gif


.

 

[floydb25]

LOL. You're not going to learn any time soon, and all of our collected advice is not registering with you. You are developing terminal oneitis and are refusing our experience as your medication.

I say go for broke, man. Keep going out with her and convince her at all emotional and financial cost that she is the one for you. Be relentless. Pursue her to the ends of the earth. She IS the one! Just do us all a favor, and come back in six months and tell us how it's working out for you.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/12/2010/10/017fface30f98610661f924afef3e0fe/340x.gif


.

Yea... there's been a handful-few of these over the years. But who knows what might happen... everyone is different.

As an aside: This is why guys must NOT sympathize with, or try to pursuade the damsels and bad boy seekers. It's the same story - only in reverse. There's no such thing as a victim, but some people (and I was one) do like to be victimized... it's their role in life.