is she just not attracted to me??

[captain55]

Have a unique situation for you guys, I will tell you a little bout what happened, as well as the girl's past.

Met this chick online, first date went really well. But I was somewhat rude to her, grabbed her ass and tried to kiss her and she turned the cheek. I was in a ****ty mood and figured I had nothing to lose

She did not say "get your hands off me" but would not let me kiss her told me "I don't kiss on the first date". after grabbing her ass for a minute or two I let go and its a "see ya"

Of course at that point I figured this girl didn't like me, and I moved on to the next one. I shoot her a text anyways apologizing, for the **** of it... and she says "its fine we can go out again"

second date...went well...I did not initiate any contact with her or even try to kiss her. Sure enough she texts me back said she had a really great time and would like to go out again.

Third date...dinner. I could tell she was nervous talking to me....smilking a lot playing with her hair...so at the end of the date I try to kiss her and she pushes me away. I got so pisseed off I ask her "what is your deal girl? how much longer you gonna make me wait cut the bull**** girl"

she goes
"when I feel like it"

so at that point I figure its OVER for good....sure enough I text the *****, and she texts me back ...almost like nothing happened. I rarely rarely text her the only time I do is when I want to go out with her again....but she always responds immediately. Ive tried MANY times to get an answer out of her, why I don't like these games etc but she always dodges the question. At this point I would almost rather her tell me "lets just be friends" or "Im seeing someone else" because these games are driving me nuts...

ps this girl is very well enough financially and has a lot of money and friends and guys hit on her all the time, I cant see her using me for free meals or attention really....never have I not gotten at least head from a girl on the 3rd date, three dates with this ***** and I cant kiss her. beginning to think its a lost cause

 

[pyros]

Hello.

In my opinion she HAS NO SEXUAL INTEREST IN YOU.
She just went out with you because she might be bored, or upset with her boyfriend/**** buddy/guy she wants to ****.

It happened to me. I also did it a couple of times with some girl.
Nothing else to think about it, either enjoy her company as a friend, or do not go out with her again unless you want to get frustraded, and loose time and money.

Three dates wihtout kissing is more than enough to understand she does not want you in any sexual way.

 

[captain55]

Hello.

In my opinion she HAS NO SEXUAL INTEREST IN YOU.
She just went out with you because she might be bored, or upset with her boyfriend/**** buddy/guy she wants to ****.

It happened to me. I also did it a couple of times with some girl.
Nothing else to think about it, either enjoy her company as a friend, or do not go out with her again unless you want to get frustraded, and loose time and money.

Three dates wihtout kissing is more than enough to understand she does not want you in any sexual way.

thankyou pyros. And let me say that there is a good chance your probably right....
She is still talking to me though so like you said what do I have to lose? I will take her ass somewhere free where I don't have to pay for her like a walk on the beach or something and Ill give it one more shot ....if she rejects me she rejects me......

the last thing I want to do is confront her about it again over the phone and ruin my probably last chance with her...and kill the little momentum I have going with her.

 

[expos]

Went through something similar....only I kissed this girl several times on our first date...she even had the gall to call me "really handsome" over our sushi dinner.

Texted her a little bit about hanging out a little more and she flaked every time. I said "fvck this" and deleted her number and removed her as a facebook friend.

She was a total AW.

Three weeks after I lost total interest she texts me out of nowhere and asks me why I removed her as friend. I don't respond. She texts me again the next day for why. I don't respond.

If you want any chance with her....disappear for awhile. Do things that the AFCs aren't doing...and that's ignoring her.

I could have banged the girl I kiss-closed recently if I would have texted her back, but I had found someone better by then and didn't care anymore.

 

[Jaylan]

No kiss by second hangout always spells no attraction from all Ive ever seen. Dont waste your time. And dont get up your hopes thinking she will come around. Just move on and do your thing.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Apart the kisses which you explained in detail, how was the other physical contact?

Did you try to grab her hand or surround her with your arm while walking or tried any kino? which ones was the reaction?

Anyway your case altought not completely similar remind me of a girl I met a little bit more than a year ago, she was fine going out and talking but there was no action, she simply liked to go out with guys which she knew wanted to bang her but not because of reciprocal desire but simply cause she was enjoying being entarteined and flattered.

Thats why Im asking about her reaction to your physical contact, that could be a good benchmark.

 

[TheWolfMan]

I agree with expos, you should have waited for her to contact you. Disappear for a while but don't get your hopes up, move on.

 

[VladPatton]

She doesn't know what she wants. Try giving her a break and see if she contacts you. Me, personally, I'd drop her due to her wasting my time. I mean it's a goddamn kiss, man! No girl that actually likes you will want to confuse you. She's fückin with ya too much.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

LJBF her first.

Text: "hey, its been fun getting to know you but I think we should just be friends."

They are not used to this.

This will make her either agree or step-up her sexual intentions with you.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

1. "what is your deal girl? how much longer you gonna make me wait cut the bull**** girl"

Don't ever do that again. A guy with options and value doesn't say things like that. He simply calls up another girl after the date and gets fed. A high value man doesn't beg. You are way too invested. Once she sees this frustration its game on to fvck with you.

"when I feel like it"

See? You're in the passenger seat.

2. I shoot her a text anyways apologizing.

How do you know she took it rudely? Did she slap you? Look at you in disgust? Close off? It may have made her tingle. If she found it incredibly mis-calibrated no apology would have got her out again with you. She would have been creeped out instead. Hard to know without being there but in general don't apologize.

3. the last thing I want to do is confront her about it again over the phone and ruin my probably last chance with her

Bad mindset. She is ruining her chance with you. You are the prize.

4. No kiss by the third date? Think any sexually healthy girl that was attracted to a guy would pull that? NEXT.

 

[like2jam]

At this point I would almost rather her tell me "lets just be friends"

How about instead, you tell her LJBF. Or hint at it.

Either way, I would disappear for sure. You're already AFC with this one, because she's dictating when she will or will not even let you kiss her. 'When I fee like it' ( on the third date ) has her in complete control and you are sans control.

You're basically begging her by complaining that you don't understand why she's doing this. Which only empowers her and encourages her to do it longer. So time to disappear. A DJ doesn't need to wait for a simple kiss like this. You're busy, you have options, you're unavailable. Make her think you're out dating and getting those kisses from a woman who is ready and willing....

 

[nismo-4]

OMG Captain, I cringed when I reviewed this case.

First of all captain, it's not gonna happen.

Why didn't you drop her ass when she said "When I feel like it" Translation: I have all the power and I want you to chase my golden vagina which you'll never get.

Go ghost on this girl. But don't hold your breath. Assume your princess is in another castle and go spin more plates.

Also, a woman who is interested in you won't confuse you.

Case closed.

 

[Smell The Glove]

I'd LJBF her personally.

You could continue seeing her as a friend if you really do like her as a person and have the time for it. Be outcome independent and she may come around eventually.

On the other hand if you don't feel you're getting anything from the interaction as is without anything physical then yea you'll probably want to just move on to other options and stop contacting her.

The only other thing I can think of is the idea that if a girl is interested in a long term relationship with a guy she will hold out longer physically to give you the impression that she isn't easy. You could maybe use that as a way to tease her about wanting to rope you into a serious relationship.

Good luck.

 

[floydb25]

One thing to remember is that all girls love attention & favors - especially from someone they KNOW likes them. The AW's purposely flirt & tease to lure you into their BS - then string you along and use you from there.

But this is what I see happening... she was probably interested initially - then you came on too strong physically. If she's "hot", she is used to this. She knew you were interested, and that she had the deciding power. Then you apologized, which is bad. You comply and go out a couple more times, which is also bad... then blah blah, "when I feel like it". A whole lot of bad.

You should have played it more cool, let her come to you, not apologized, and not jumped at the first chance to date again (and again). She has game, and you don't... is what I see. :cheer:

With all that's happened, she likely views you as a chump who will obey her every wish, and continue pursuing her and trying to get physical or involved. She IS playing games and toying with you because she knows she "has" you. She knows you're getting pissed, and is likely getting off on it. The more power she gets - the the more fun she has. And make no mistake: she likely does this with a lot of chumps, just to get her kicks and feed her ego.

She sounds insecure, snotty, immature, and bratty... which is the kind of trash you find online (or in the streets, at bars, etc). This is the kind of woman who will mess with your head, make you jump through hoops, and play constant games to see how much she can get away with... because she can. These are her true colors - what you see.

She is "avoiding" the game-playing topic because she wants to continue playing games, keeping you uncertain, etc, which gives her more and more power... while acting oblivious to what she's doing. She KNOWS you're naive and oblivious to what's going on - and playing it to a tee. Keep it up, and she'll start manipulating you more.

This isn't a unique situation - because I've dealt with the same thing from hotties before. These *****es can be very cruel, and enjoy doing this kind of **** - when they can get away with it. But, you're provoking and enabling this behaviour, and keep going back for more - even though her heart (or interest) is clearly not into it..

This is how "high class" women treat weak, gullible, desperate men - because they keep allowing it. Ironically (and hypocritically) enough, these same girls will complain to no end about the "bad boys" who treat them just as they treat others - and would to them as well if they could. :crackup:

So yea... this ***** is garbage. There's no need to over-analyze, cling onto hope, etc. That's what she wants, and how she keeps you hooked. But, YOU keep going back for more, and making things worse for yourself - because you're not sure WTF is going on. "Why would she do this - after that happened? Why won't she just reject me? Is she interested or not? Do I still have a chance? AGGGHHHH it's so confusing!!!!! :crazy: "

Knock it off... Girls who are interested don't play games, send mixed signals, mess with your head, push / pull, etc.

You need to pay attention to her actions and interest level. As far as I can tell, she is not interested, but enjoys teasing you - because she knows she has you. She likely detached herself completely based on your actions & behaviors. You're heading down a one-way path to chumpville - and for no good reason.

Think about it... what's so special about her that you're so hooked (already), and willing to throw away your self-respect for? All she's doing is acting like the player she probably is. This is their game.

 

[captain55]

Apart the kisses which you explained in detail, how was the other physical contact?

Did you try to grab her hand or surround her with your arm while walking or tried any kino? which ones was the reaction?

Anyway your case altought not completely similar remind me of a girl I met a little bit more than a year ago, she was fine going out and talking but there was no action, she simply liked to go out with guys which she knew wanted to bang her but not because of reciprocal desire but simply cause she was enjoying being entarteined and flattered.

she's 6 years older than me years old pretty, successful and never had a serious relationship. that alone right there raised some red flags for me... I typed her name in (the sight I met her off of) and she showed up on 6 different ****ing sights!
Thats why Im asking about her reaction to your physical contact, that could be a good benchmark.

the first date was a walk on the beach. She asked where my car was, I told her Im within walking distance of the beach......I take my shirt off as Im heading over to the water and she says "I can give you a ride back if you want". Im like no it's fine...she's like no I think there's room in my car get in. So at that point I figured she was getting somewhat wet...but when I got out of the car to kiss her as she dropped me off, she rejected me...

haven't tried to grab her hand yet or even touch her....only time was when I grabbed her ass that first time and she didn't throw me off of her she turned the cheek and smiled and said "I don't kiss on the first date." while I was shaking the **** out of her ass, it was uncalled for but my god this girl's ass is ****ing amazing....but as far as other body language she always seems to get real close to me when were walking places.....thats all i could tell you so far.

 

[captain55]

You don't say how old you are, which has a large bearing.DID you pay, or not? If she has all this money, why can't she pay her own way?

Im 20 years old, she is 5 years older than me...two important texts I think I should tell you guys she sent me..after the first date.

I pissed her off with something I said (jokingly and she took it the wrong way)
she goes...
"your age is showing.."
I told her "whatever Im trying to make you forget my age its not important really"
she doesn't respond...
day later...she
next day she sends me a text message sayings "its not about age its about maturity. besides you shouldn't have to act at all to date or be friends with someone. Secondly if you want me to take you seriously, your going to need to get some more money so you can take a girl out to do something that aint free like a walk on the beach.... I know your young and new to the area so Im not judging you, Im just being honest. And lastly cursing so much at a girl is definitely not attractive...neither is grabbing her ass on the first "date".

After the second date, I sent her a somewhat personal text "I had fun with you" seeing if she would respond to it, I was hoping she wouldn't respond but she said "I had fun with you too"

 

[captain55]

1. "what is your deal girl? how much longer you gonna make me wait cut the bull**** girl"

Don't ever do that again. A guy with options and value doesn't say things like that. He simply calls up another girl after the date and gets fed. A high value man doesn't beg. You are way too invested. Once she sees this frustration its game on to fvck with you.

"when I feel like it"

See? You're in the passenger seat.

2. I shoot her a text anyways apologizing.

How do you know she took it rudely? Did she slap you? Look at you in disgust? Close off? It may have made her tingle. If she found it incredibly mis-calibrated no apology would have got her out again with you. She would have been creeped out instead. Hard to know without being there but in general don't apologize.

3. the last thing I want to do is confront her about it again over the phone and ruin my probably last chance with her

Bad mindset. She is ruining her chance with you. You are the prize.

4. No kiss by the third date? Think any sexually healthy girl that was attracted to a guy would pull that? NEXT.

I see what you mean bro but Im also a realist....this chick makes more in a month what I make in a whole year ..... bachelor's degree....I drive a pickup and make minimum wage Im technically a loser....I have a good body and my face is alright, so I do ok....but all in all this ***** is out of my league and she knows it, I know it.....

 

[captain55]

One thing to remember is that all girls love attention & favors - especially from someone they KNOW likes them. The AW's purposely flirt & tease to lure you into their BS - then string you along and use you from there.

But this is what I see happening... she was probably interested initially - then you came on too strong physically. If she's "hot", she is used to this. She knew you were interested, and that she had the deciding power. Then you apologized, which is bad. You comply and go out a couple more times, which is also bad... then blah blah, "when I feel like it". A whole lot of bad.

You should have played it more cool, let her come to you, not apologized, and not jumped at the first chance to date again (and again). She has game, and you don't... is what I see. :cheer:

With all that's happened, she likely views you as a chump who will obey her every wish, and continue pursuing her and trying to get physical or involved. She IS playing games and toying with you because she knows she "has" you. She knows you're getting pissed, and is likely getting off on it. The more power she gets - the the more fun she has. And make no mistake: she likely does this with a lot of chumps, just to get her kicks and feed her ego.

She sounds insecure, snotty, immature, and bratty... which is the kind of trash you find online YES I DID MEET HER ONLINE...I GOOGLED HER OKCUPID NAME AND SHE CAME UP ON FOUR DIFFERENT DATING WEBSIGHTS (or in the streets, at bars, etc). This is the kind of woman who will mess with your head, make you jump through hoops, and play constant games to see how much she can get away with... because she can. These are her true colors - what you see.

She is "avoiding" the game-playing topic because she wants to continue playing games, keeping you uncertain, etc, which gives her more and more power... while acting oblivious to what she's doing. She KNOWS you're naive and oblivious to what's going on - and playing it to a tee. Keep it up, and she'll start manipulating you more.

This isn't a unique situation - because I've dealt with the same thing from hotties before. These *****es can be very cruel, and enjoy doing this kind of **** - when they can get away with it. But, you're provoking and enabling this behaviour, and keep going back for more - even though her heart (or interest) is clearly not into it..

This is how "high class" women treat weak, gullible, desperate men - because they keep allowing it. Ironically (and hypocritically) enough, these same girls will complain to no end about the "bad boys" who treat them just as they treat others - and would to them as well if they could. :crackup:

So yea... this ***** is garbage. There's no need to over-analyze, cling onto hope, etc. That's what she wants, and how she keeps you hooked. But, YOU keep going back for more, and making things worse for yourself - because you're not sure WTF is going on. "Why would she do this - after that happened? Why won't she just reject me? Is she interested or not? Do I still have a chance? AGGGHHHH it's so confusing!!!!! :crazy: "

Knock it off... Girls who are interested don't play games, send mixed signals, mess with your head, push / pull, etc.

You need to pay attention to her actions and interest level. As far as I can tell, she is not interested, but enjoys teasing you - because she knows she has you. She likely detached herself completely based on your actions & behaviors. You're heading down a one-way path to chumpville - and for no good reason.

Think about it... what's so special about her that you're so hooked (already), and willing to throw away your self-respect for? All she's doing is acting like the player she probably is. This is their game.

I see what you mean...like i mentioned a beautiful 25 years old who has never had a serious relationship with anyone...this chick even told me she had been dating online for a whole year. So Im sure im not the only guy she's doing this too....but at the end of the day unless shes a 1 in 100 who actually has morals...Im sure shes ****ing other guys, why cant I be that guy? that what hurts...and the fact that she needs attention from a 20 year old dude is pathetic in my opinion.

 

[captain55]

You don't say how old you are, which has a large bearing.DID you pay, or not? If she has all this money, why can't she pay her own way?

yes bro I paid for the last date. Paid for her second date too, but I didn't buy her beer for her. also I told her she looks stuck up...she does, ***** has her nose in the air when she walks.
shes goes..
"well you must really like stuck up girls then"

as for why I paid well I didn't pay for her food on the beach the first date...and inthat text she sent me she mentioned money, so I knew it pissed her off.

the only good thing about my being so much younger than her is, ..I get the feeling that she chalks up my lack of "game" with her due to my age and being so young sometimes ....Ive gotten a few "free passes"..

 

[captain55]

LJBF her first.

Text: "hey, its been fun getting to know you but I think we should just be friends."

They are not used to this.

This will make her either agree or step-up her sexual intentions with you.

so...I have two options

1. tell her "hey its been fun getting to know you but I think we should just be friends"
2. or go ghost on her ass like others here are reccomending, come back with the chance to somewhat reinvent myself and by some small chance get the ball back in my court.

both decisions make sense to me...im digging the first option, im kind of leaning towards it because it would be great to **** with her... but the second option seems more practical.