is she interested? or am i already in the friend zone?

[uchia619]

Okay I'm talking to this girl right now that was in my class for about a month just a little background girl is very shy, but with me she is very talkative and somewhat crazy! over the phone, IM, or even emails. We tease one another everytime we see each other in class. Anyhow we were IM one another last night for about maybe 30minutes. We were taking about just couple of dumb stupid stuff and making fun of one another and teasing one another. I also wanted to find out if she had a boyfriend so I ask her indirect question if she had a boyfriend, but she never gave me straight answer.I finally throw in a ****y funny line
me:your funny I like that in a woman" your brunette right? but I only like blondes but since your beautiful and you amuse me I'm gonna keep talking to you.
her: well I'm actually blonde, but every monday I would dye my hair to brunette.(of course total B.S)
Anyhow we started chatting again about stupid things I was about to ask her to hang out with me, by saying
me: what is your favorite food?
then all of a sudden she went offline! so I'm like WTF!
I think this is where I mess up I emailed her " I told her that was rude of you I thought you were cool anyhow take care and behave yourself talk to you later"
Next morning she replied back saying she she was sorry and apoligize sincerely for it and made some dumb excuse saying computer froze up and if she didn't turn it off it would of burn down her house. She also answered me her favorite food which is Italian and she also asked me what was my favorite food?
Then this is where I think I really f***d up I reply but saying "OIC okay your cool again, and it would of been a great headline if you did burn your house down even made a funny reply saying my favorite food is "Balut" " I know this is long and maybe I'm over analyzing it but I've had my heart broken so many times in the past and I definitely want to get to know this girl more. Remember this girl is really shy, but over the phone, email, and IM she is freaking crazy! So do you guys think I'm in the friend zone with her already since she is comfortable around me now? any input thanks

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Focus on interacting with her in person. We don't know what the real reason was for her signing off, but I sure as hell wouldn't ask out a girl over instant messenger that I know in real life. If you don't have class with her anymore, then stick to the phone and set up a time to interact in person.

 

[Igetit!]

Yes,you're in the friendzone. That much was evident to me just by reading the VERY FIRST SENTENCE. Now that that's out of the way,let me see if I can help you to understand where and when you got off track here.

Okay I'm talking to this girl right now that was in my class for about a month just a little background girl is very shy, but with me she is very talkative and somewhat crazy! over the phone, IM, or even emails.

So in general,she's a shy person,but with you she talks a lot,and is "crazy". Uhh...that's not good,my friend.

I'd rather she be shy with me and around me. This girl feels comfortable with you which isn't a bad thing,but if she has an excess of comfort with little to no ATTRACTION,it's Friendzone City baby.

We tease one another everytime we see each other in class. Anyhow we were IM one another last night for about maybe 30minutes. We were taking about just couple of dumb stupid stuff and making fun of one another and teasing one another. I also wanted to find out if she had a boyfriend so I ask her indirect question if she had a boyfriend, but she never gave me straight answer.

Ok,let me see if I got this straight...

You two tease each other
Talk about "dumb stupid stuff"
And you "indirectly" asked her if she has a boyfriend...after knowing her a month.

Well that's all fine and dandy,but here's my question:

Did you EVER ask her out?

You know,like on a date? That is what you want,right? Or do you want to continue teasing and talking about stupid stuff for another month?

I finally throw in a ****y funny line
me:your funny I like that in a woman" your brunette right? but I only like blondes but since your beautiful and you amuse me I'm gonna keep talking to you.
her: well I'm actually blonde, but every monday I would dye my hair to brunette.(of course total B.S)
Anyhow we started chatting again about stupid things I was about to ask her to hang out with me, by saying
me: what is your favorite food?
then all of a sudden she went offline! so I'm like WTF!

Well,it's pretty clear what happened here. You started hinting and beating around the bush about a possible date for the two of you,she understood where you were about to go with this conversation,so to avoid having to answer you directly,she went offline. She likes things the way they are. She wants to keep talking to you,keep getting attention from you,keep having some guy around her who makes her feel desired while she gives absolutely NOTHING IN RETURN. Her having a date with you would require something of her. She doesn't want that. She wants to get her emotional needs met while not having to "give up" anything. And why not? Things have been good for the last month,why do anything different now?

I think this is where I mess up I emailed her " I told her that was rude of you I thought you were cool anyhow take care and behave yourself talk to you later"
Next morning she replied back saying she she was sorry and apoligize sincerely for it and made some dumb excuse saying computer froze up and if she didn't turn it off it would of burn down her house. She also answered me her favorite food which is Italian and she also asked me what was my favorite food?

Burn her house down? Well that's a new one. I'll give her points for creativity.

Then this is where I think I really f***d up I reply but saying "OIC okay your cool again, and it would of been a great headline if you did burn your house down even made a funny reply saying my favorite food is "Balut"

Alright,look:This is the second time you've said,"I think this is where I messed/f**ked up". You don't understand.

You didn't mess up with the "great headline if her house burned down" comment,and you didn't mess up where you e-mailed her and told her you thought she was rude,(although,you shouldn't have done that).

You "messed up" AT THE BEGINNING.

Women decide with the first 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're attracted to a guy.

And here you are one MONTH later joking and playing around.
Women know in 5 minutes if they like you. ONE MONTH has passed,and you haven't even asked her out yet.

Your goose was cooked a looong time ago. (Cooked goose? Where do I get this stuff?):crackup:

" I know this is long and maybe I'm over analyzing it but I've had my heart broken so many times in the past

Well I'm sorry,but you might as well get ready for one more heartbreak.

Look dude,if you've had your heart broken as many times as you say you have,then maybe you'd want to change SOMETHING about the way you approach a girl. This forum can help you,but we'd need some info on how you approach. Info like...

When you approach a girl,what do you normally say?

How do the girls usually respond to you?

When do you start to notice "problems" showing up between you and the girls?

Does it seem like the same thing keeps happening over and over again with different girls?

Answer these questions so we can learn about your situation and give you helpful advice.

and I definitely want to get to know this girl more. Remember this girl is really shy, but over the phone, email, and IM she is freaking crazy! So do you guys think I'm in the friend zone with her already since she is comfortable around me now? any input thanks

Sorry dude,this one is done for. Don't worry,if you've had a thousand broken hearts and you're still here,then one more won't kill you.

You have no chance with her. You had one,a month ago,but it's over.

Don't be deceived:She'll keep calling or e-mailing you like before,but it's because you're her FRIEND and she may miss you,NOT because she suddenly became interested in you.

If you REALLY want to know how to approach a girl and EASILY AVOID THE FRIENDZONE,then check this out.

I PROMISE YOU,you'll never fall into the friendzone again that way.

 

[uchia619]

hey thanks a lot IGETIT I definitely need to change the way I interact wih women. Ths is kind of like a reallity check for me. I mean I;m not very direct person I mean its not my personality to be direct and extroverted. When I do try to be extroverted and outgoing I feel like I'm lying to myself and not being real is this were the whole fake it till you make comes into play. Again thanks for the comment saves me he headache of trying to win this girl.