"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is She Interested? Help!

ryanbo29

Don Juan
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Hey guys.

I went out with this girl twice and on the second date I kissed her. It was alright

Then I made another date plan a week later..About 5 hours before the date she sent an email saying this:
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i am soooo sorry that i didnt get back to you sooner. i had gone to hang out with one of my friends way north last night and left my phone at home. i felt like i had lost a limb. please forgive me for being an idiot. you probably do not want to go out with me tonight now. i totally understand. i especially understand because i am feeling really crappy today and do not forecast myself as being good company for a late night. i really want to go to that place. i hear that it's pretty cool. you always choose great places. however, i would greatly appreciate a rain check if at all possible. what do you think? i hope that my being a nonreliable jackass hasnt put a damper on any plans you could have otherwise had.

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I responded with an aloof email on Wednesday saying 'maybe we should wait awhile until youre better. '

And that was it. Friday evening she called my cell and said she wanted to apologize in person, and that she had lots of stressful things going on and she would have been no fun to spend time with that evening etc. We made small talk and I told her I accepted her apology and ended the call shortly after small talk saying had to go because I was meeting friends.

So what do you guys think? Is she interested or did she just want to clear her conscience?

What's my next move, fellas?

Thanks!
Ryan
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
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hm... apologizing through email and then cell? maybe she really did want to go on the date and felt badly for making the rain check. well, if she mentioned something along the lines of "we can get together next time" then she should stil lbe interested.

if she's saying she's busy and will still be busy until god knows when, then maybe her interest level dropped...or she really is busy.

well you did good in not getting pissed and had a cool atitude about it.
 

ryanbo29

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Well only mention of getting together was what you see in the email in asking for a raincheck..

The phone convo went from apology to asking how I'm doing to work, and then I wanted to end it since I was driving and going out. Also I wanted to be the one to end the convo and think about what my next move would be.

And that move is to ask you guys for some consulting.

I do have to be honest and say her flakiness began after I went for the kiss.
 

golf299

Senior Don Juan
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i was involved in quite a similar situation not too long ago...

unfortunately the girl i was involved with was not as considerate with phone calls and the such...

if i was in your situation, i would give her another chance.... afterall, she seems genuine... tell her you're going to "such-n-such" and she should come along... if that doesn't get her to come out with you, i wouldnt waste too much more time on this one...

good luck..
 
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Why didn't she just call you from the get-go? Why e-mail? I liked your alooof response!

Set something up - it seems as if she is interested but if something happens again and she flakes then don't call her- let her chase you! And then flake on her:)

If a girl flakes 2 or 3 tines within a short period, this means someone else is their priority and not you!!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trapspringer

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Weren't there any phones up north that she could call you from? I use that cell phone excuse enough and I can tell you, personally, I never leave on a trip without my celly. It is like going out the door without my shoes. These days, it seems hard to forget the phone although it is a possible.

I would go with Golf's suggestion and go from there. If she is really interested, she will tag along or if she is unable, she should counter with another date. You could still have a shot since someone with low IL won't go through much trouble of trying to apologize after two dates.
 
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