Is she giving me the green light?

[Meisterman]

Bartender at a bar im a regular at. She's 25 im 24..last couple weeks seen her looking at me differently, ive made some sexual remarks she hasnt resisted, just the other day xmas eve she bought me a drink which hadnt happened before..

how do i ask her out to hang out outside the bar without it being awkward? We share many mutual friends, afraid if i say the wrong thing or am too aggressive will ruin the moment, but also cant be too soft either. What is a good, subtle way to let her know i wanna take her out or chill with her OUTSIDE the bar..i dont even have her number yet

 

[Roober]

Bartenders are tricky. They will hook you up because they get something in return out of it. I would just go in there one time when it's slow and make small talk, then just ask her out however you ask someone out. If she is hot, she gets hit on a ton, so you will have to set yourself apart somehow... Even if she says no, it isn't likely to get awkward cause she is so used to it

 

[dustmuffin]

Just say I'm doing XYZ on this day and she should come. Either she will or wont. Be direct. You could try to find out her days off so you can ask her out then

 

[Serenity]

Just ask her to hang out wherever, don't do it in an awkward way.

Fear leads to passivity, like you're doing now. Do not fear being too aggressive, do not fear saying the "wrong" thing, do not fear messing up, do not fear losing her. Fear is what you need to fear, it will fvck up your soul.

Side question to everyone else, what the fvck is even the wrong thing to say?!

Just go ask her already, fvck don't even be subtle about it. Why would you want to be subtle about it? Do you feel so unworthy that you don't want to risk embarrassing the poor woman by her being seen while someone like yourself asks her a casual question? I don't get it.

Quit being so fearful, no excuses.

 

[sazc]

Just ask her to hang out wherever, don't do it in an awkward way.

Fear leads to passivity, like you're doing now. Do not fear being too aggressive, do not fear saying the "wrong" thing, do not fear messing up, do not fear losing her. Fear is what you need to fear, it will fvck up your soul.

Side question to everyone else, what the fvck is even the wrong thing to say?!

Just go ask her already, fvck don't even be subtle about it. Why would you want to be subtle about it? Do you feel so unworthy that you don't want to risk embarrassing the poor woman by her being seen while someone like yourself asks her a casual question? I don't get it.

Quit being so fearful, no excuses.

It is, after all, merely one female.... So what if she says no? That doesn't define you, it doesn't define who you are or anything about your personality.
Value yourself. You are a catch! If she hasn't figured that out by now, then she must be a little slow on the uptake.
If she says no, it's not a problem. You will continue to patronize the establishment, even bringing your dates in for a quick drink.
Rejection does not phase you, it just clears the way for you to find a woman who knows your value.
Believe it.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I would just get her number first ... it's an easier/less awkward thing to ask for (for you and her). Then after getting her number, ask for the date via text.

 

[Reykhel]

Bartender at a bar im a regular at. She's 25 im 24..last couple weeks seen her looking at me differently, ive made some sexual remarks she hasnt resisted, just the other day xmas eve she bought me a drink which hadnt happened before..

how do i ask her out to hang out outside the bar without it being awkward? We share many mutual friends, afraid if i say the wrong thing or am too aggressive will ruin the moment, but also cant be too soft either. What is a good, subtle way to let her know i wanna take her out or chill with her OUTSIDE the bar..i dont even have her number yet

Don't be direct in this situation.

I assume she's coming over to where your sitting if she's dropping drinks over to.

This is quite simple: kino and compliance test.

Gently take her hand or put your hand on her leg ...

Is she receptive? Suggest taking a drink somewhere else