"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Is she giving me the green light?

M

Meisterman

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Bartender at a bar im a regular at. She's 25 im 24..last couple weeks seen her looking at me differently, ive made some sexual remarks she hasnt resisted, just the other day xmas eve she bought me a drink which hadnt happened before..

how do i ask her out to hang out outside the bar without it being awkward? We share many mutual friends, afraid if i say the wrong thing or am too aggressive will ruin the moment, but also cant be too soft either. What is a good, subtle way to let her know i wanna take her out or chill with her OUTSIDE the bar..i dont even have her number yet
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Roober

Roober

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Bartenders are tricky. They will hook you up because they get something in return out of it. I would just go in there one time when it's slow and make small talk, then just ask her out however you ask someone out. If she is hot, she gets hit on a ton, so you will have to set yourself apart somehow... Even if she says no, it isn't likely to get awkward cause she is so used to it
 
Serenity

Serenity

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Just ask her to hang out wherever, don't do it in an awkward way.

Fear leads to passivity, like you're doing now. Do not fear being too aggressive, do not fear saying the "wrong" thing, do not fear messing up, do not fear losing her. Fear is what you need to fear, it will fvck up your soul.

Side question to everyone else, what the fvck is even the wrong thing to say?!

Just go ask her already, fvck don't even be subtle about it. Why would you want to be subtle about it? Do you feel so unworthy that you don't want to risk embarrassing the poor woman by her being seen while someone like yourself asks her a casual question? I don't get it.

Quit being so fearful, no excuses.
 
sazc

sazc

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Grewd said:
Just ask her to hang out wherever, don't do it in an awkward way.

Fear leads to passivity, like you're doing now. Do not fear being too aggressive, do not fear saying the "wrong" thing, do not fear messing up, do not fear losing her. Fear is what you need to fear, it will fvck up your soul.

Side question to everyone else, what the fvck is even the wrong thing to say?!

Just go ask her already, fvck don't even be subtle about it. Why would you want to be subtle about it? Do you feel so unworthy that you don't want to risk embarrassing the poor woman by her being seen while someone like yourself asks her a casual question? I don't get it.

Quit being so fearful, no excuses.
Click to expand...
It is, after all, merely one female.... So what if she says no? That doesn't define you, it doesn't define who you are or anything about your personality.
Value yourself. You are a catch! If she hasn't figured that out by now, then she must be a little slow on the uptake.
If she says no, it's not a problem. You will continue to patronize the establishment, even bringing your dates in for a quick drink.
Rejection does not phase you, it just clears the way for you to find a woman who knows your value.
Believe it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Reykhel

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Meisterman said:
Bartender at a bar im a regular at. She's 25 im 24..last couple weeks seen her looking at me differently, ive made some sexual remarks she hasnt resisted, just the other day xmas eve she bought me a drink which hadnt happened before..

how do i ask her out to hang out outside the bar without it being awkward? We share many mutual friends, afraid if i say the wrong thing or am too aggressive will ruin the moment, but also cant be too soft either. What is a good, subtle way to let her know i wanna take her out or chill with her OUTSIDE the bar..i dont even have her number yet
Click to expand...
Don't be direct in this situation.

I assume she's coming over to where your sitting if she's dropping drinks over to.

This is quite simple: kino and compliance test.

Gently take her hand or put your hand on her leg ...

Is she receptive? Suggest taking a drink somewhere else
 
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