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is she cheating?

WC2

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been in a relationship for 1 yr. she's hooked up with another guy before over spring break, after being with her for 2 weeks. after that, she pretty much begged to get back together for a month, and i let her back slowly giving her the benefit of the doubt. i'm not going to lie, she was my slave for a month or two after that.

now she's in another country for 3 weeks. things were solid before she left- hung out with the family and so on during christmas. the sex is good. the day she left, she had a panic attack because she was so sad about leaving.

the first 2 weeks abroad things were fine. but the last week i get an email basically saying "i feel like you are more my friend than my boyfriend" followed by "i don't even know what you are doing back home with other girls, etc." 2 things that have nothing to do with eachother, but she throws it in there at the end. ultimately she said "i need the remaining 4 days to think over things and reevaluate our relationship". she continues to say that "you get breaks whenever you want to but whenever i want one, i can't."

the following days, she picked up 2 out of 5 of my phone calls. both phone calls she was almost annoyed to talk to me, a complete 180 as she is usually happy to talk to me. she swears on her life she is not involved with anyone, but something in my gut tells me different. she's lied to me before.

the worst part is, is that i know she will eventually craw back to me when she gets back. how then do i get solid evidence to prove she is cheating? i still love the girl, but this would be the last straw.
 

scottfall

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She may be acting that way because the times yall talk you acuse her of cheating on you. If you think shes cheated then go with your gut and be done with her. If you think you may be wrong in this scenerio just play it out and see what happens, but stop the acusing. If she isnt cheating and is being acused of it she will lose interest.
 

aliasguy

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When a man asks "is she cheating?," she usually is.
 

j0n024

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Agree fvck the b1tch! Dont call her anymore ..if she is willing to stay with you let her contact you other then that forget her. I mean you already told us she lies to you so forget her man..good luck and next time dont take her back...or better yet take her back for one day and just pound the sh1t out of her and the next day say

"i need the remaining 4 days to think over things and reevaluate our relationship." Simple as pie.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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aliasguy said:
When a man asks "is she cheating?," she usually is.
I'd agree with this. But, sometimes its just a mans insecuritys.

If she cheated on you in another country... You basicly won't ever know. I'd probably just dump her anyways after the e-mail you recieved.
 
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WC2 said:
... but the last week i get an email basically saying "i feel like you are more my friend than my boyfriend" followed by "i don't even know what you are doing back home with other girls, etc." 2 things that have nothing to do with eachother, but she throws it in there at the end. ultimately she said "i need the remaining 4 days to think over things and reevaluate our relationship". she continues to say that "you get breaks whenever you want to but whenever i want one, i can't.".
Don't be a fool and seek her attention or affectione -- she already left you!!!

When a girl says she doesn't know if you are seeing other girls, it means that she is saying this to JUSTIFY HER sexual escapades with other dudes, besides her main pimp - you!!!

If you are sexing a girl who is not your wife, assume that she is getting sexed by others as well!!! All standards of loyalty and honor are lost once the hole between her legs has been breeched!!
 

WC2

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Even if she isn't cheating, which I definitely think she is, I can't consider my girlfriend to be someone who can ditch me like that for no apparent reason.

This is very tough to do, considering I'm an ex-afc who changed my ways. I thought I ultimately found the ideal girl and had my **** inline.

Ultimately though, if a women is a *****, she will eventually find the ***** in her. I couldn't tell you how sneaky this girl is. I've had her inline since the day she begged to date me, and never has she given me a reason to think otherwise (besides when she goes away).

This is a warning to all of you. No matter how much you think you have a woman wrapped around your finger, she is what she is.

It's extremely tough, but I'm letting her go and never taking her back. More than 1 year down the drain in 2 weeks. go figure. now it's off to the bars tonight to attempt to get my head straight.
 

Stéphane

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When she wrote a e-mail saying that she wants to reevaluate our relationship. That's when you reply 'What relationship? We're over." Then she would of known that there's consequences for reevaluating the relationship so she can f*ck other guys.
 

WC2

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Danger said:
You need to step back and ask yourself what is GOOD for YOU.

Obviously she isn't interested enough in you, she is doing this EXACTLY so she can hook up with other guys there because you are on a "break". You should never have taken her back after the Spring Break episode.

The real question is, what is good for you?

If I were in your shoes, go sarging and spin some plates, but take her back to your bed when she gets home and make her your FB. If she ever questions you being with other girls you can always say "I thought we were on break".

No matter what she says though, don't take her back, just use her for sex.

You haven't thrown away one year of your life, you have freed yourself to live the rest of it.
I don't think I'll be her FB. At most, I may **** her when she gets back and then send her down the river right after. The last thing I need is to start getting in the habit of seeing her all the time.
 

guru1000

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WC2 said:
ultimately she said "i need the remaining 4 days to think over things and reevaluate our relationship". she continues to say that "you get breaks whenever you want to but whenever i want one, i can't."

the following days, she picked up 2 out of 5 of my phone calls. both phone calls she was almost annoyed to talk to me, a complete 180 as she is usually happy to talk to me.
.
It doesn't matter whether or not she is cheating. With the ABOVE said, this is enough to make a decision to walk away. When a girl says " I want to think things over", she has LOW IL. This is when you make a clean break. No discussions, just break. There is only one parachute out of a BREAK and you better take it. The one who leaves last will HOLD the emotional baggage. This relationship is over.

Here is what went wrong:

You never EXPRESSED YOUR INTERNAL BOUNDARIES with her. In other words, you didn't lay out the rules thus she felt she can do whatever she pleases without consequence. The consequence of bad behavior is WALKING AWAY.

You cannot undo the past. You can fix the NOW. Walk away.

Remember you can only EXPRESS YOUR BOUNDARIES in the very beginning.

Keep your chin up, your integrity intact and march on.
 

WC2

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Just an update -

Turns out the girl most likely WAS cheating. Looked on her facebook and she's got new pictures of her and some dude looking pretty intimate. I'm just glad I saw these AFTER I got over her for the most part.

Don't ever trust women.. It's going to be hard for me to trust again after this- I really did believe that she loved me. Instead she just loved lying to my face Ha!
 

MacAvoy

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WC2 said:
I don't think I'll be her FB. At most, I may **** her when she gets back and then send her down the river right after. The last thing I need is to start getting in the habit of seeing her all the time.
This is the road back to AFC'ville, she'll slowly suck you in even if you only bang her once. Completely cut contact & as Danger said, be glad that you are free to pursue the rest of your life. Don't live life looking in the rear view mirror.

Your already half way there, stand your ground and take your life back.
 

WC2

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MacAvoy said:
This is the road back to AFC'ville, she'll slowly suck you in even if you only bang her once. Completely cut contact & as Danger said, be glad that you are free to pursue the rest of your life. Don't live life looking in the rear view mirror.

Your already half way there, stand your ground and take your life back.
Yup.

I'm more than half way there man, I'm pretty much over her. I'm now just getting over the fact that there could be someone better than me out there (I know I'm ****y as hell when it comes to confidence with women).

Unfortunately, she's already sort of dumped me in a way by telling me that she thinks of me as a "best friend" and asking for time apart. When she calls me, I'm just going to tell her that things are working out for the best like this and say good bye. Nothing else. Thanks for the replies.
 

MacAvoy

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WC2 said:
Yup.
When she calls me, I'm just going to tell her that things are working out for the best like this and say good bye. Nothing else. Thanks for the replies.
When she gets back only take 1 phone call from her. Actually I would recommend sending her an email, telling her that you've decided to move on. Then completely move on, don't take her calls, ignore her 100%. However if you do take a single call for her, explain your logic, let her call you out, don't get into her name calling, take the high road.
 

WC2

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MacAvoy said:
When she gets back only take 1 phone call from her. Actually I would recommend sending her an email, telling her that you've decided to move on. Then completely move on, don't take her calls, ignore her 100%. However if you do take a single call for her, explain your logic, let her call you out, don't get into her name calling, take the high road.
I don't think email is a wise choice, no offense. You can say anything over email and not really mean it. I'd rather her hear me on the phone calm and confidently tell her that it's over and better off this way. Things were good while they were good, but theres better opportunities out there for me. Click.

As far as explaining my logic, I don't think I need to do that. She knows the wrong shes done, and me explaining it to her will just reaffirm her feeling that I'm feeling ****ty about the whole thing.
 

Bible_Belt

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WC2 said:
how then do i get solid evidence to prove she is cheating?

You have more evidence than most guys ever get. I GUAR-AWN-FVCKING-TEE that she is being fvcked by some other guy right now.

You can either go fvck another girl, or you can be miserable. The choice is up to you.
 

Eaglecreek

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WC2 said:
"i feel like you are more my friend than my boyfriend"
She wasen't sure about her relationship before she left, she just didn't wanna be alone, and she thought it might get better. When she left she had a panic attack because its scary to be alone again, she just needed a new guy in reserve before breaking up. She's now deciding who to choose.

WC2 said:
followed by "i don't even know what you are doing back home with other girls, etc."
She made out with this new guy there (or worse) and she feels guilty, solution number one: BLAMING YOU. She gonna come to you and start saying YOU DESTROYED the relation, and if you brake up with her then she will rub this excuse in even more, just to make you feel like sh*t. Its the exact same as what happened with me and my ex. Do not listen to the crap, SHE destroyed your relationship, she fvcked up, and its her loss not yours. Its a hard lesson, trust me when I say this, SAVE yourself the sorrow and the pain she will bring. Then AVOID her at all cost, cause she'll wanna get back at you, don't give her that chance cause it will hurt like hell. Don't ever get back with her again, don't ever kiss her again, forget about her and once your over her and you should see her keep it with a simple "hi" and leave her alone. If she isen't with a new guy her mission will be to hurt you.

Don't make my mistakes and don't ever blame yourself for what happened between you guys. I hope for you, that you'll be able to do what is necessary,
Good luck
 

nando

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WC2 said:
I don't think I'll be her FB. At most, I may **** her when she gets back and then send her down the river right after. The last thing I need is to start getting in the habit of seeing her all the time.
tha'ts the best man, **** her one more time then dump her for good :yes:
 
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