Is she bull****ting?

nvictor

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She said she's pregnant :(

We use protection everytime. Only one time the condom got torn. Now maybe she's just bull****ting cause I'm flying away for my studies. What if it's true? I'd have a lot of problems. My parents would kill me :( She already told me no more abortion for me...
 

Charm&Style

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turn the tables around and say you juss found out you have genital herpes.
 

Vulpine

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Say, "Oh my GOD! What the hell is that!":eek: Then point behind her.

When she looks, punch her as hard as you can in the lower abdomen. Don't be a wuss - I'm talking wind up and drop the hammer with a good ol' roundhouse like you were trying to punch her soul straight out of her azzhole.

If you can't manage that scenario, then drop something in front of her while she's talking to someone. Then, stoop down like you were going to pick it up, grab her waist, and give her a head-butt straight to the kid-maker. Literally try to break something down there.

:up:

She'll either:

1. Admit she was lying.
2. Have a miscarriage.
3. Suddenly decide that you aren't the daddy/She doesn't want you to be the daddy.
 

Oblivious

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I seriously hope you are joking! How about man up to your responsibilities and discuss what steps to take next. Condoms are never 100%
 

ER!C L!VE

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Oblivious said:
I seriously hope you are joking! How about man up to your responsibilities and discuss what steps to take next. Condoms are never 100%
Man up? wtf... Why doesn't she woman up and not ruin his and her life with an unplanned pregnancy.
 

Vulpine

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Shhhhh!!!!
I was going to tell him to write down what she said, fold up the piece of paper, tape the paper to the front of his fist, then sock her in the mouth: make the b!tch eat her words!
But that wouldn't have accomplished nearly as much as "Vulpine's morning after method" would have.


So, uh... yeah, nvictor, keep us posted on how this turns out.
 

WaterTiger

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1~Make it very clear to her that you are NOT marring her.
2~Offer to pay for the abortion as you are both too young to raise children.
3~Get a lawyer!Talk to him/her about how you want to handle custody, visitation rights and child support payments.
4~Refuse to pay a single penny till a DNA test is done.

If you're foolish enough to try Vulpine's charming method, you will go to jail for battery. Jurys take a dim view of men beating on pregnant women. And if by chance she was preggers, and did miscarry, you could be charged with murder.

If she comes back in a few days and says "Oops! False alarm!" Dump the manipulating little b!tch.
 

lee36044

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You know ... that phrase no more abortion for me ... it just keeps running thru my head right now! How many others?

If you typed that correctly nvictor, I sincerely hope that you only found out when this pregnancy issue cropped up. Because if you knew and didn't run when you found out ... well I suspect you know where this thought is leading!

On the flip side, if she has been though this before, my opinion, it's very good odds the pregnancy is a tactic. Even if it's real ... it would be well worth establishing paternity before anything else is done!
 

Phyzzle

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joekerr31

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chics who pretend to be pregnant are the worst. i put them on the same level as rapists and murders.

its the ultimate mind f*ck.

without being able to disprove it you're stuck in limbo on this one.

best solution i can think of is to play along with it short term. tell her that you want your child to have the absolute best and tell her that you want to talk to her doctor. you want to know as much as you can about what you need to do during the pregnancy and you want the doctors reassurance that shes healthy and that there will be no problems with the pregnancy.

if she refuses to let you go to the doctor with her then odds are she's lying through her teeth about the whole thing.

the absolute last scenario she would put herself in would be you sitting there with her doctor saying "Doc, is she healthy for this pregnancy?" and him going "pregnancy? what are you talking about? shes just constipated."

now if she really were pregnant she would take you with her to the doctor no problem. and even if she were reluctant you can play the card that you want to be involved in all respects, from the beginning.

thats the best idea i have for routing out the likelihood of whether she is lying or not.
 

Phyzzle

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And if she is pregnant . . . what makes you think it yours?

She's already had an abortion you say? Doesn't sound like a careful girl.
 

Vulpine

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joekerr31 said:
chics who pretend to be pregnant are the worst. i put them on the same level as rapists and murders.

its the ultimate mind f*ck.
Ah HAH! This is EXACTLY the reason for my posts!

I kicked a girl out so hard, she landed in San Francisco. About a week later....

*ring... ring*

V: "Hello?"
Ex: "Hi, (small talk)"
...
V: "So, why did you call?"
Ex: "Uh... Well... I'm pregnant."

This is what I said, and I quote:

V: "B!TCH! How DARE you call me and claim that sh!t! What the FUX is wrong with you? You think I'd say, 'Oh, baby, please come back. We'll get married and have a family'? NO! You better HANDLE that sh!t."
*CLICK*

Harsh? Probably. Insensitive? Perhaps. Wrong? Read on...

So two weeks later:

*ring... ring...*
V: "Hello?"
Ex: "You don't have to worry."
V: "Don't have to worry about WHAT?" *pizzed off*
Ex: "I had a miscarriage."

Yeah, I bet she did.

Well, as the years passed, I happened to be flirting with a chick I worked with. The subject came up.

The ex of mine that claimed to be pregnant was on the shot. She got the boot because she just suddenly became a lunatic. I don't mean just "b!tchy", I mean it was like she was PMS'ing ALL the time, but like 25xPMS'ing. Crazy, bonkers, psycho, violent mood swing sh!t. It was bizarre. She would greet me at the door with a big warm smile and a frosty cold beer when I came home from work "Hey baby, welcome home!", and two minutes later would be screaming at the top of her lungs about a sock that missed the laundry machine opening and was laying on the floor. (I'll never forget that scene.) This chick was awesome, I mean awesome like we could have been married right now awesome***, then just flipped out... so I booted her (so hard she landed halfway across the country).

***How awesome? I was sitting at the computer playing Counter-Strike one night when she came into the office with a fresh beer. Without a word, she set the beer on the desk in front of me, forcefully pulled out my chair, climbed under the desk, and pulled the chair back in. She then proceeded to wrangle out my wang, suck me off, push the chair out, climb out from under the desk, push my chair back in, grab the beer off the desk, took a swig and put the beer back down, then left and closed the door behind her... not a single word. Awesome.

Well, I come to find out that the chick at work was on the shot when she got knocked up. I was like, "What? Really? While on the shot? What was that like?" She went on to explain that she went batty and was trippin' out all the time about stupid sh!t. So, I asked her, "Trippin'? Like, how so?" Basically, this chick outlined the exact same "PMS-like" behavior that my ex had before I booted her.

Are you guys following? It drives me insane to this day to think about it. I was so certain she was pulling some crazy stunt... then come to find out later that she very well COULD have been preggo. Uh... Um... I'm not so sure she was lying. With the stress of moving and the break up, not to mention my azzhole antics over the phone, she probably would have miscarried.

There's no telling. Mind job? Oh yeah. But hey, I don't have a mini-Vulpine, or mini-Vixen running around, so...
:whistle:
It all worked out for the best, well, except for the...

ARRRGHHH! FACKING MIND JOB!!!! GRRRrrrrrrr! :mad:

Phyzzle said:
Has anybody noticed this is a 20 year old having a pregnancy scare with a teenage girl? And he's posting this only in the Mature man forum?
I noticed right away, which is why I figured he might just be stupid enough to punch the chick in the guts. Keep us posted! Hehehe - snicker - snicker.
 

lee36044

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Vulpine! Education is supposed to enrich the student ... not put him in the prison system! But then again if he is that gullible ... it would only improve the gene pool :crackup:
 
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