Is sex on the first date is a MUST?

[OC Speedball]

I saw a big name PUA do a free seminar recently, and he said some interesting things. He was into natural game, direct approach.

But he said something that I have never heard before and I wanted to see what you guys have to say about it. He said:

"If you make out with a girl on the first date and don't have sex with her, you will probably never hear from her again. If you don't want to or can't have sex with her just kiss her on the lips and leave."

Wtf? Does this man speak the truth or is he just a sex addict? I would love to hear some sosuave veteran's opinions on this.

 

[iqqi]

That man sounds like an idiot.

Or he thinks all the losers paying to show up to his seminar are idiots, and he is just saying whatever craziness comes to his head for sh!ts and giggles.

 

[badboyjmm]

the only way i can see the concept happening is in a nightclub/bar and you just met the girl. Then yeah, if you don't close it probably you won't her again

 

[LostAndConfused]

IMO if you didn't make out with her you might as well have not approached her at all, in a club/bar, at least in the scenes I hang around.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

That's BS. I haven't had sex with girls on the first date. Mostly only girls you meet at clubs who are drunk or rare occasions. Such BS man... unless they're total hoes. I have done foreplay on first dates but I can't recall any sex happening that fast. Probably because I choose my women carefully.

 

[Leopold]

I dont agree with that advice to a certain extent.

However.. I do see the point of it. If you manage to have sex/escalate with her you could pretty much have used her. Then that's when they start developing feelings for you, otherwise why even bother caring for what she thinks?

I picked up this line from somewhere here before... "If you treat a woman like dirt, she will stick to you like mud."

Call me a jerk but I'm not really one. I'm a very sweet person. I just let the beast out of the cage and trapped the AFC on the closet.

So yes, I haven't experienced it personally but it's definitively getting me more attention and attraction from girls.

 

[bigneil]

He is totally wrong.

Many girls will refer to having sex too early as "wrecking it".

However, you should sleep with her as soon as she is ready. Then the man has the upper hand and she "tries" to like him instead of trying not to.

 

[sstype]

I saw a big name PUA do a free seminar recently, and he said some interesting things. He was into natural game, direct approach.

But he said something that I have never heard before and I wanted to see what you guys have to say about it. He said:

"If you make out with a girl on the first date and don't have sex with her, you will probably never hear from her again. If you don't want to or can't have sex with her just kiss her on the lips and leave."

Wtf? Does this man speak the truth or is he just a sex addict? I would love to hear some sosuave veteran's opinions on this.

OP, I think you're misunderstanding his point. He's not saying you MUST have sex with the girl on the first date....he's saying to not get sexual (i.e. making out/foreplay) if sex is not guaranteed to happen later.

In that respect, I agree with him. You generally don't want come on too strong with the making out/foreplay first date unless you intend on sexing her later that night. Reason is that afterwards she will feel things are moving too fast, and not wanting to appear slvtty, will flake out on you. Had you gone around and f*cked her, she would have at least tried to stick around, like Bigneil mentioned.

If she's someone you want to keep around for a while, a kiss on the lips or light making out on the first date is fine and you can escalate on later dates.

This isn't a hard and fast rule.....the key is to match her pace. If she's open to sex on the first date, you will pick that up easily through her body language and verbal indications and can be more aggressive. If she's more guarded/reserved, then escalating at a slower pace to give her time to be more comfortable around you is the optimal strategy.

 

[vatoloco]

...a big name PUA...

There's the problem right there.

Seriously now, what was the title of the seminar? What was its objective?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I saw a big name PUA do a free seminar recently, and he said some interesting things. He was into natural game, direct approach.

But he said something that I have never heard before and I wanted to see what you guys have to say about it. He said:

"If you make out with a girl on the first date and don't have sex with her, you will probably never hear from her again. If you don't want to or can't have sex with her just kiss her on the lips and leave."

Wtf? Does this man speak the truth or is he just a sex addict? I would love to hear some sosuave veteran's opinions on this.

He also must've told them not to forget their credit card to pay for the escort service.

 

[Jariel]

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

I have had sex on the first date many times and often enough I never heard anything from them again. Whereas those I've taken it more slowly with seem to stick around longer.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's by the third date that sex is a must, not the 1st.

 

[OC Speedball]

OP, I think you're misunderstanding his point. He's not saying you MUST have sex with the girl on the first date....he's saying to not get sexual (i.e. making out/foreplay) if sex is not guaranteed to happen later.

I thought about that, but I couldn't be sure if that's what he meant. (I should have just asked him to clarify). I mean, what is the definition of making out? A kiss for more than 20 seconds? A kiss with tongue? It's a broad term, so I'm not 100% on what he meant.

Like, if you are doing heavy making out and "heavy petting" then she is going to be dissapointed that you didn't pull the trigger. I can see that, but people make out all the time and end up dating.

Seriously now, what was the title of the seminar? What was its objective?

There was no name for the seminar. It was just a free seminar about getting out of your comfort zone and how to eliminate flaking. He let people ask him questions, and he was a super cool guy.

 

[Nobody]

haha no

 

[AlphaNate]

No, unless she wants a second date.

 

[Serg897]

The bottom line is: Its not a must.

There are no rules here. Sometimes sex on the first date happens because the sexual chemistry is very, very high and you both cant wait to fvck each other. Sometimes the girl prefers to wait.

Like Jariel said, the times I've had sex on the first or second date it ussually leads to a short relationship, or you just dont see her again. Whereas the ones that hold off a bit tend to be more serious and stick around.

I would say though, you should have sex as soon as she is ready if thats what you are after. The physical aspect of romantic relationships is very important. Never stop being sexual.

 

[runner83]

THis

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

I have had sex on the first date many times and often enough I never heard anything from them again. Whereas those I've taken it more slowly with seem to stick around longer.

+ This

It's by the third date that sex is a must, not the 1st.

 

[Desdinova]

It's by the third date that sex is a must, not the 1st.

I usually make it the fourth date. I need that extra date to make sure she's worthy of my c0ck

 

[vatoloco]

Seriously now, what was the title of the seminar? What was its objective?

There was no name for the seminar. It was just a free seminar about getting out of your comfort zone and how to eliminate flaking. He let people ask him questions, and he was a super cool guy.

If this was the case, I'd have to say he was asking too much of the course takers if he was pressing for sex on the first date.

Baby steps, man. Baby steps.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'm surprised some of the vets here aren't "getting it" SSTYPE is right...

Threads like this make me loose faith in forums sometimes...