Is Second Best Good Enough???

[MR_PERFECT]

Have now been dating a girl for 3 months. Everything is great. 3 years ago, we dated for 3 months. Back then, she told me that her lack of sexual interest in me - we had it, she just never seemed into it and never initiated -was because of a lack of experience. I now find out she had plenty of experience before she met me back then. Not only that, other guys got farther with her much faster, and little things like kissing, which she didn't really do with me, she was doing on the regular bases before me.

Now, she does it all and then some. It's obvious she likes me now, but her lack of interest then and lying about her past is bothering me. Is it my ego or am I justified?

 

[Metro3pilot]

Dude,

That post was WAY TOO LONG .... You're analyzing WAY TOO MUCH .....

it sounds like you are trying to find a reason not to have a relationship with her .....

:rockon:

 

[MR_PERFECT]

You're right, I'll shortent it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So, to all of you that read through this, what I want to know is could any of you possibly date a woman that obviously had no interest the first time around? The attraction and interest is there now, but would you trust it?

QUALIFY!

QUALIFY!

QUALIFY!

Don't you dare get involved with a woman just because she's interested in you.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

QUALIFY!

QUALIFY!

QUALIFY!

Don't you dare get involved with a woman just because she's interested in you.

Thanks Francisco, that's not the part I'm worried about. I'm wondering if it's that my ego is too big, or am I justified in holding her previous lack of interest against her after finding some things out now.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Mr. Perfect,



I'm interested in knowing WHY you even want this woman. She obviously turned you OFF on a subconscious level EVEN back in the day. I'm no urologist or sex therapist, but usually whenever a healthy guy can get it up for one girl but NOT for a girl that's at least equally as attractive is because she has somehow TURNED HIM OFF on a subconsious level.

I may be wrong about this describing YOUR situation, but I think it's worth considering...

But onward to the crux of your question:


Whenever I have found a woman GUILTY of having LOW INTEREST in me in the past, I usually relegate them to "second class citizen" status AFTER she doesn't respond to my initial barrage of interest.

THEN, on those occasions where she suddenly REAPPEARS, I remember what happened in the past and DEFINITELY hold it against her. I consider the fact that this woman either wants me NOW because her options are scarce, OR she has NOW actually had enough NEGATIVE life experiences that she is ready to drop HER bullshyt.

In my experience, it's usually the FORMER and not the latter scenario. Now having said that, in the past, I have generally REVENGE fukked those women who fit the FORMER scenario (now I'm not necessarily PROUD of that, but it's the truth...). But in the LATTER scenario I usually make the woman work either twice as hard or twice as long to PROVE her intentions towards me.

And then, and ONLY then, do I allow her to come back into my life and assume ANY kind of respected position. And sadly, MOST don't make it through my "vetting" process...and have to be left behind and given up for dead as a serious romantic prospect.



Peace...one day.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Yo Mr. Perfect,



I'm interested in knowing WHY you even want this woman. She obviously turned you OFF on a subconscious level EVEN back in the day. I'm no urologist or sex therapist, but usually whenever a healthy guy can get it up for one girl but NOT for a girl that's at least equally as attractive is because she has somehow TURNED HIM OFF on a subconsious level.

I may be wrong about this describing YOUR situation, but I think it's worth considering...

Victory, thanks, that was a great reply. Yes, she did turn me off. We've even discussed this now. From what I can tell, she wasn't into me then, but all her experiences with the guys that came after me weren't so good, I guess. She said everyone only wanted one thing and that was sex. I'm now finding myself in the situation you described, I want to get back at her to make 2004 Mr. Perfect feel better. If I had any of the information that I got now, I would have never met up with her the second time around. I think she's a great woman now (on the surface, anyway), anything I do to her will be undeserved. I thought I was growing as a man, then these childish feelings creep in from out of nowhere.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I'm now finding myself in the situation you described, I want to get back at her to make 2004 Mr. Perfect feel better. ....

And does the 2007 version feel it's a good use of his energy? Personally I think it would be better spent working on the new and totally redesigned 2008 model.