Is my office crush into me or new new guy?

[Gu_Ga]

At first I thought all of her flirting signs were there: started off with small talks, smiles each time we see each other, invites to join her and coworkers for lunch, laughing at my silly jokes, let's do happy hours mentions, instant messagings, invite to join their dept's for happy hour, checking in to make sure I come, giving me her number just in case, once at happy hour she made her exchanged her seat with others to get closer to me albeit across small table, cheers with our glasses every few minutes - just two of us ignoring others, at wrap up full body contact embrace hug with her two arms around my back while mine is one arm around her shoulders, she hug goodbye everyone though but her coworkers thought it was unusual for her - she was quiet, shy one in their dept. Following week asking if interested in local end of summer evening festival. Mentioning she is off from work that week but might join coworkers if anybody goes. I did go to see if I run into her or dept coworkers, didn't see anyone. Next monday she asked me if i did go, I said yes but didn't see anyone. She said she did go too and run into few people from other dept not hers. Didn't hang with them but still enjoyed couple of drinks that evening. Didn't mention with who. So I thought my bad luck we just misssed each other. She is still Inviting to join lunches again with her dept and mentioning doing another happy hour soon. It is her who usually send me instant messages if not daily, at least every other day. Small talk, some flirting, nighty nights, etc. She even has a nick for me which is shortened version of my name that nobody else uses.

So, long story short, I thought she is finally attracted to me and flirting in return with me after my 6+ months long subtle flirts, compliments, small talks on my way to get coffee, jokes, facetime anytime there is an occasion, etc.

I thought there were enough signs for me to take it to the next level, until her close friend asked me what do I think of a new guy who started just couple of months ago? That's when it hit me: I might just being used as a decoy! She being on a shy side and then all of sudden organizing lunches and happy hours for her dept and inviting others from other depts. to join too including me and new guy. Turns out nobody else was inviting new guy but her. Now looking back I don't know what to think of her flirting signs above. I have observed body language of a new guy and he definately into her. Always keeps close to her, sits next to her, stares into her and this doesn't seem to bother her at all. In fact, when we are together without new guy, she seems to pay attention to me, but when there is a new guy around he seems to crowd her and I just keep convos with other people ignoring them.

So at this point I halted everything. Don't know what's real. If she is into new guy, I don't want to walk into laughing stock trap. Now tell me if I'm reading her wrong.

 

[Kbomb]

ok first rule, don't **** where you eat.

Secondly, get some other options going.

 

[Gu_Ga]

We are in diff depts in opposite corners of the building. So, not worried about *** where I eat. Besides, why do you think it took me so long to get something going there?

 

[incognito42]

We are in diff depts in opposite corners of the building. So, not worried about *** where I eat. Besides, why do you think it took me so long to get something going there?

It's still a bad idea unless you can just go out and have a good time with her withou getting emotionally involved. I work with a chick right now that I fvcked and things got a little more serious, and when things went bad it really sucked working with her. I picked up other options and now I could care less about her but there's still a little bit of tension at times. It's just a had idea man; there's plenty of other chicks out there that are just as hot and fun that you DON'T have to work with 40 hours a week.

Btw Im a driver and the chick I'm talking about is a secretary so I'm always on the road and rarely have to be around her, but I'm telling you I regret ever fvcking with her it's a bad idea.

 

[Iceberg]

So, long story short, I thought she is finally attracted to me and flirting in return with me after my 6+ months long subtle flirts, compliments, small talks on my way to get coffee, jokes, facetime anytime there is an occasion, etc.

6+ months of flirting and you never asked her out. Sorry buddy, but women dont have crushes on man who takes 6 months to ask her out. By now, you're deep into the friend zone.

So at this point I halted everything. Don't know what's real. If she is into new guy, I don't want to walk into laughing stock trap. Now tell me if I'm reading her wrong.

How old are you, man?

First of all, realize this: A woman (or a man) is allowed to be attracted to MULTIPLE people at once. You're not her boyfriend. You never even asked her out. So why do you act as if she has to make a choice of the new guy OR you? Maybe she's interested in whichever of you is man enough to ask her out.

Secondly: You need to get some options. You're way, way, WAY too invested in a girl who has done nothing for you. 6 months of flirting and no move.

You cannot operate like that. It will get you nowhere.

 

[Gu_Ga]

Good point on being emotionally attached. Like I said, I have a crush on her for last 6 month, so I'm emotionally attached. I first noticed her at the company annual meeting 6 month ago. Being relatively new myself, i didnt know her name or dept she works at. Took me about 2 month to find out who she was, what dept, her hours and routines, who her friends are, etc. Since she works on other side of the building my chances running into her were limited to coworker bday cake breaks, running into her and her friends at cafeteria or few times on hallway each hurrying to meeting. I was on overseas trip for a month then she was out for 3 weeks. But in last 2+ months thing started to hit up as I mentioned in my first post. Again, this being workplace I didn't want to hit on her right away. Wanted to make sure she is open to it and it won't get me into hot waters with HR.

There are about 800 people working in our building with about 200 on our floor. There are days when we don't see each other and I have to find an excuse to walk over her side of office.

As far more options, I have started to flirt with one of her coworkers but problem is all other women on her side of the office are either married or in relationships. Speaking of which there is one married hottie who has been flirting with me as I keep making to my crush.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with Iceberg. You should of made a move 5.5 months ago. Thing is if you don't (doesn't matter the outcome) she will airdrop you into the Friend Zone, where the fence is high and electrically charged.

Next time, make a move quick, see what happens, and take it from there. She will at least know your intentions and will not see you as a girlfriend that pees standing up. More importantly, YOU will know whether or not it's a green light or a red.

We all go through this, it's how this game works. Unplug, get another prospect, and get cold to the situation, the window of opportunity closed, so stop having false hopes.

Hey think of it this way: you now know women a little bit better.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo has reviewed your case and cringed.

She MAY have been into you during the first week, but she's into the new guy. You only have yourself to blame. Now you can only jack off to visions of this girl. Unless of course you make a move, and even then she's not really seeing you in that way. Still, don't sh*t where you eat. :trouble:

You are guilty of failure to make a move, failure to have options, and dipping into company ink. This carries a fine of a nice guy reputation, 1 stressed mind, 2 blue balls, and a hike in the woods of Bestfriend Hills, Iowa.

Spinning more plates and strinking while the iron is hot is the best thing that is for you. :yes: Beyond a reasonable doubt, your princess is in another castle. All because you didn't make a move. Damn.

Alpha males take charge. Beta males wait for the "perfect opportunity." You're a beta. Start taking charge. That's my ruling.

Case closed. Grab some balls.

 

[RedZone]

I was in a similar situation...what learned from it is that I need to strike early. You can't wait months because either like everybody else said she views you as a friend or she can meet somebody else. Now I have a rule that if I think might like a girl at work or somewhere where I see them on a regular basis I'll ask them to hand within a week or two. This way you know where you stand and it's not awkward because you barely know them.

 

[Gu_Ga]

Damn, I've been nismoed! Will turn this into a blessing in disguise though - I have found nismomine! I'll be eating alfas for breakfast now.
Married cougar coworker who's been hitting on me - fair game?

 

[Konada]

Do you eat **** for meals?