"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Is my NC working?

D

DCC

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My previous one-itis that friend-zoned me after about a month saw me at church for the first time in three weeks yesterday.

Comes over, hits me on the arm, makes a comment about me not calling her, gives me a hug, then proceeds to try to make me focus on her for about the next 20 minutes. I acted very nonchalant (I was pretty much over her anyway, been dating other people) around her and she tried even harder to get my attention.

Although, I do think the friendzone thing may have been situational. Her ex husband who lives in Texas showed up in Ohio the week of the friendzoning, stressing her out like I've never seen and he's finally leaving this week.

Think it's worth trying to fire things up again when he's gone? Seems I'm starting to get some IOIs again.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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D

DCC

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Johnnyventana said:
A.w.
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Hope not...

But since I started spinning other plates it hasn't bothered me as much. Not even women this time, got back into P90X, drumming, golf, and starting to date other people. Between those three, 50 hours of work, and school, I probably won't have time to get overly needy again :rock:
 
M

mahoney

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like most of theses situations she doesn't know you have gone NC, she never even thought about it till you showed up

dudes have this weird idea that making a conscious attempt at NC with a girl will make them suddenly go "oh noes where did DCC go to im so sad", fact is they dont think about it and if they do they just assume you have been busy

you do it yourself btw - go look at your email contact list or facebook friends list, look at persons 5,12 and 15 - when was the last time you saw them? would you know if they had gone NC with you since then?

NC only 'works' as a tool to actually move on with your life and away from someone, if that is what you want. it doesn't work as a tool to make someone interested (a better tool than NC is LOWER contact, shifting the balance a little so its not you initiating all the contact, that is all - and it doesn't have the instantaneous effect dudes aim for, because dudes are not very subtle in general and expect an effect before a girl has even noticed)
 
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PapiChulo

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I second the AW claim. Always suspect that first. They usually turn around because they do miss attention and want to see if they got you. When ego needs to be stroked she will come around if there are no other suckers around. Don't jump straight into giving IOIs back, act aloof yet friendly. All you ve got from her at this point is her wondering why monkey won't dance for her anymore. NC is a sh!tty strategy if she had no interest or low interest <50%, in fact she may hate you for that (another AW symptom).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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D

DCC

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Well, the NC ended today. She called me. Apparently she is having ex issues. He's finally leaving soon (next couple of weeks) and as soon as he's gone, she wants to go out. I let her know it was a date and she agreed. Guess I'll avoid chickening out and go for a KC this time.

I have a feeling I may have been friendzoned because of the missed kiss close on date 2.
 
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PapiChulo

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Thanks for telling us that you went out with her twice at the first place. She was interested enough to go out, then yes NC worked like a charm- she called you and all. Go for KC, and FC - that will help her with stress. These ex issues are a red flag though.
 
D

DCC

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PapiChulo said:
Thanks for telling us that you went out with her twice at the first place. She was interested enough to go out, then yes NC worked like a charm- she called you and all. Go for KC, and FC - that will help her with stress. These ex issues are a red flag though.
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I guess that was important. I missed a KC on Saturday, and was friendzoned on Wednesday. Two weeks later, I think I'm back in the game.

Ex issues should be done soon though. She legitimately hates him, but he's made her life hell for the past three weeks. When I talked to her today, she said she hadn't slept for two days (she also graduates college this week, though). I made a joke about having that effect on people.

Then, she was talking about him finally leaving. She said the only thing she wants more than anything right now is a one way ticket to ship him back to Texas. Once he's gone, he should be gone for good. He doesn't have any family or anything here, he just moved back to try to reconcile I guess...shame she absolutely hates him.
 
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