Is my girlfriend losing interest? Or playing mind games?

[ChapStick]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 8 months now.

She has always been a good girlfriend to me. Offers to pay from time to time, always initiating sex everyday, initiates texting, etc... On her myspace I'm basically mentioned all over the place, her profile, bulletins, pictures... The girl seems to have high IL in me.

In the past week, she got EXTREMELY jealous when a girl that used to like me started texting me. This other girl is fairly attractive, and my girlfriend knows it. Now me being a stupid prick decides to use this card in my favor to make her feel that she could lose me at any moment.

My girlfriend begged me to stop even texting her and I told her she was being insecure and she has nothing to worry about (all the while I know it eats her up inside). I feel like such a scum bag for playing these kind of games, but I just do them instinctively!

Well, now she's trying to hang out with her female friends more often (still makes time for me, but instead of blowing her friends off when I had a day off from work she now hangs out half of the day with them instead of wanting to spend the whole day with me like before). And is now telling me her mom wants her to go on some church trip in Spring Break and asks me if I'm okay with that (normally she wouldn't wanna leave to go anywhere because she always wants to be around me).

I feel that my girlfriend is playing mind games, but could it be that making her jealous and seeming not to care about what she does is actually backfiring on me? I want to keep my girlfriend on her toes, and I try to keep a strong personality yet loving towards my girlfriend.

Do I have this chick? Or am I slowly losing her? If I am losing her, I would like some suggestions on how to fix things and remain the strong dominant male that she looks up to and fell in love with in the first place. Thanks guys! Any comments would be appreciated.

 

[Trajhenkhet01]

What exactly did you do that would make you think you were behaving like a stupid prick? Also are you living together in any way?

 

[eaglez1177]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 8 months now.

She has always been a good girlfriend to me. Offers to pay from time to time, always initiating sex everyday, initiates texting, etc... On her myspace I'm basically mentioned all over the place, her profile, bulletins, pictures... The girl seems to have high IL in me.

In the past week, she got EXTREMELY jealous when a girl that used to like me started texting me. This other girl is fairly attractive, and my girlfriend knows it. Now me being a stupid prick decides to use this card in my favor to make her feel that she could lose me at any moment.

My girlfriend begged me to stop even texting her and I told her she was being insecure and she has nothing to worry about (all the while I know it eats her up inside). I feel like such a scum bag for playing these kind of games, but I just do them instinctively!

Well, now she's trying to hang out with her female friends more often (still makes time for me, but instead of blowing her friends off when I had a day off from work she now hangs out half of the day with them instead of wanting to spend the whole day with me like before). And is now telling me her mom wants her to go on some church trip in Spring Break and asks me if I'm okay with that (normally she wouldn't wanna leave to go anywhere because she always wants to be around me).

I feel that my girlfriend is playing mind games, but could it be that making her jealous and seeming not to care about what she does is actually backfiring on me? I want to keep my girlfriend on her toes, and I try to keep a strong personality yet loving towards my girlfriend.

Do I have this chick? Or am I slowly losing her? If I am losing her, I would like some suggestions on how to fix things and remain the strong dominant male that she looks up to and fell in love with in the first place. Thanks guys! Any comments would be appreciated.

Um YEA its obviously backfired....do you still text that chick?

 

[Warrior74]

idiot. you had it going great and you ****ed it up for no GOOD reason. Where was your logic? Just acting emotional and wanted even MORE validation? What was your point? Your getting everything you want....stupid is as stupid does. Good luck.

 

[bukowski_merit]

She has always been a good girlfriend to me. Offers to pay from time to time, always initiating sex everyday, initiates texting, etc... On her myspace I'm basically mentioned all over the place, her profile, bulletins, pictures... The girl seems to have high IL in me.

sounds good... but - do you allow her to pay when she offers? and i never find any good out of allowing a woman to initiate the sex much... it's much better for you to do it... but that's a HUGE topic but small potato in this post...

In the past week, she got EXTREMELY jealous when a girl that used to like me started texting me. This other girl is fairly attractive, and my girlfriend knows it. Now me being a stupid prick decides to use this card in my favor to make her feel that she could lose me at any moment.

I wouldn't call you a prick for that... but if she's not really doing anything that warrants you displaying that she could lose you at any moment - there's no reason to pull that card... if she's being a sh!t test storm of a girl - then yes, pull that card.... but if she's being a willing shadow to you - don't do anything until she trys to make you her shadow (which will likely come if/when she begins to get bored)...

My girlfriend begged me to stop even texting her and I told her she was being insecure and she has nothing to worry about (all the while I know it eats her up inside). I feel like such a scum bag for playing these kind of games, but I just do them instinctively!

the fact that she's begging you to stop texting her might be an indication that she's LSE (and lacks relationship exp). but regardless - it sounds like you're used to dealing with freaks/crazies, and found a good girl and didn't realize you need to only do these types of things when necessary... 90% of relationship advice given on PU sites is geared towards dealing with freaks/crazies.... this is because 90% of women are those! but there's about 10% who are good girls... and they require a whole different game...

Well, now she's trying to hang out with her female friends more often (still makes time for me, but instead of blowing her friends off when I had a day off from work she now hangs out half of the day with them instead of wanting to spend the whole day with me like before). And is now telling me her mom wants her to go on some church trip in Spring Break and asks me if I'm okay with that (normally she wouldn't wanna leave to go anywhere because she always wants to be around me).

she's doing exactly what you can expect when you sh!t test her for no reason! (yes. YOU! sh!t test her.) not all is lost though...

I feel that my girlfriend is playing mind games, but could it be that making her jealous and seeming not to care about what she does is actually backfiring on me? I want to keep my girlfriend on her toes, and I try to keep a strong personality yet loving towards my girlfriend.

of course it's backfiring on you. You put women in line when they step out of it, not when they are holding your hand behind it. i understand being shocked when you're used to dealing with the madness of most women... but yes, i would say this is backfiring on you... and you may have a good girl turning a little crazy because of it... you may have lit a little fire under her and she may begin to react to it...

Do I have this chick? Or am I slowly losing her? If I am losing her, I would like some suggestions on how to fix things and remain the strong dominant male that she looks up to and fell in love with in the first place. Thanks guys! Any comments would be appreciated.

you still have this chick. you're not slowly losing her. she's reacting to her own insecurities which is completely human. you've set yourself up in a hard frame now though. how would i get out of it? i'd stop texting the other girl... tell you gf you've stopped texting her... don't let her get a reason why and definitely don't tell her that it was because you saw it was hurting her or something like that.... just keep the explanation small... and stick to it... don't text the other girl... but don't let your gf know it has anything to do with her... let her work out how she wants to handle this... and when she starts texting some guy in a year or so and trys to use this - do not let her get you angry or emotionally invested!

 

[Alle_Gory]

"I stopped texting that chick. Why were you worried? I told you she meant nothing."

 

[Ollie]

Oh my fvcking God! She hung out with her friends one day instead of you and might be going on a trip with her parents? Have women no shame? How could she be so insensitive and rude? I mean it's been like a week of this crazy behavior...will the games ever stop? I feel really bad for you. I like girls who have absolutely nothing else in the world going on aside from spending time with me. That's sexy. Nothing turns me on more than a safe girl with no other options.

Seriously though this chick gets mad cause he's texting another girl...hmmm. Sounds to me like she has issues that I wouldn't want to put up with in a relationship. Jealousy to that extent is a huge red flag to me. Your life would be a living hell living with someone like that. The whole point in being confident is knowing your value so you don't have to worry about stuff like this. You can't stress so much about outcomes that you have no control over. You need to be who you are and do what you need to do regardless of how she may react. Healthy relationships evolve and are built off of trust. A girl begging you to stop texting a girl who's only kinda attractive and you have no interest in is insecure and a waste of time.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

Consider the fact that in most normal relationships you don't have sex EVERY SINGLE DAY.

realize that your girlfriend has probably based her relatinoship with you on feelings of infatuation and the thrill of something new, as this begins to fade so will her interest.

If you're really looking for a LTR, It doesn't seem like you are... Try girls who don't go for guys based entirely on emotions.

I can promise that you will experience the same decline in your future relationships if you keep dating/being with girls are are with you purely because of the emotional high you can give them.

also, for your current situation, whether she stays or goes depends on her, prepare for either eventuality.. stop feeling like you have to DO something and control her and the situation. This will only decrease her attraction if you try to control/manipulate her into staying with you.

So paradoxically your best chance of keeping her is to let her go/ give her the chance to leave.

 

[DJDamage]

You just can't backtrack now after you messed up.

Backtracking now and overtly communicating to her that you are stopping with the text messaging and you are sorry for being a jerk will just play into her hands.

Just stop texting this other girl but act natural as if you got bored and it wasn't her influence that made you do it. If your girlfriend is acting out because she is over jealous and because of that she starts to shun you then tell her to fvck off and hook up with this new girl.

Problem solved.

Hopefully this thing will blow over.

 

[betafemale]

Can't Blame the Girl

Being a female, I completely 100% agree with her current actions. There is nothing wrong with being a tad bit jealous. It should prove to you even more that she is in love with you, and can't stand even the thought of another female attracting your attention. The fact that you took advantage of those feelings of her's and told her to stop being so insecure, was a bad, bad move.
What else is she to do, when she's thinking in the back of her mind that her boyfriend can't even give her the courtesy of making her his one and only girl. There shouldn't be other females that you are chatting back and forth with unless they're long time friends, and obviously, she would already know of them if they were such a friend. But a girl that once liked you?? Alright, buddy, aren't you pretty sure she STILL likes you? Why on earth would she be contacting you if there was no interest there?
I think your girlfriend sounds like a keeper. I think you should give her a little more credit and make her feel as important as you want her to feel.
Also, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with girlfriends. Is she supposed to wallow in her own sorrow and not ask advice or talk to anyone about this? It obviously bothers her, so let her vent to her friends. It's what anyone would do. And, if you're going to go the extra mile to talk to other females, then yes, you're going to reap some consequences too. At least she's not being immature and talking to other men.
I think you should reevaluate how much you care about this girl, and maybe you'll have a better understanding of why she's pulling a way a bit.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 8 months now.

She has always been a good girlfriend to me. Offers to pay from time to time, always initiating sex everyday, initiates texting, etc... On her myspace I'm basically mentioned all over the place, her profile, bulletins, pictures... The girl seems to have high IL in me.

In the past week, she got EXTREMELY jealous when a girl that used to like me started texting me. This other girl is fairly attractive, and my girlfriend knows it. Now me being a stupid prick decides to use this card in my favor to make her feel that she could lose me at any moment.

My girlfriend begged me to stop even texting her and I told her she was being insecure and she has nothing to worry about (all the while I know it eats her up inside). I feel like such a scum bag for playing these kind of games, but I just do them instinctively!

Well, now she's trying to hang out with her female friends more often (still makes time for me, but instead of blowing her friends off when I had a day off from work she now hangs out half of the day with them instead of wanting to spend the whole day with me like before). And is now telling me her mom wants her to go on some church trip in Spring Break and asks me if I'm okay with that (normally she wouldn't wanna leave to go anywhere because she always wants to be around me).

I feel that my girlfriend is playing mind games, but could it be that making her jealous and seeming not to care about what she does is actually backfiring on me? I want to keep my girlfriend on her toes, and I try to keep a strong personality yet loving towards my girlfriend.

Do I have this chick? Or am I slowly losing her? If I am losing her, I would like some suggestions on how to fix things and remain the strong dominant male that she looks up to and fell in love with in the first place. Thanks guys! Any comments would be appreciated.

 

[ChapStick]

Being a female, I completely 100% agree with her current actions. There is nothing wrong with being a tad bit jealous. It should prove to you even more that she is in love with you, and can't stand even the thought of another female attracting your attention. The fact that you took advantage of those feelings of her's and told her to stop being so insecure, was a bad, bad move.
What else is she to do, when she's thinking in the back of her mind that her boyfriend can't even give her the courtesy of making her his one and only girl. There shouldn't be other females that you are chatting back and forth with unless they're long time friends, and obviously, she would already know of them if they were such a friend. But a girl that once liked you?? Alright, buddy, aren't you pretty sure she STILL likes you? Why on earth would she be contacting you if there was no interest there?
I think your girlfriend sounds like a keeper. I think you should give her a little more credit and make her feel as important as you want her to feel.
Also, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with girlfriends. Is she supposed to wallow in her own sorrow and not ask advice or talk to anyone about this? It obviously bothers her, so let her vent to her friends. It's what anyone would do. And, if you're going to go the extra mile to talk to other females, then yes, you're going to reap some consequences too. At least she's not being immature and talking to other men.
I think you should reevaluate how much you care about this girl, and maybe you'll have a better understanding of why she's pulling a way a bit.

I completely agree. I have screwed up. I will do my best to treat my girlfriend better. She deserves better... I mean, she has been a good girlfriend. Nobody is perfect and she has her flaws, but I shouldn't have done that to her. Thanks!