I (22M) met a (23F) lady through an online app.
We are both from very conservative cultures where even holding hands or kissing is reserved for people in a relationship.
And that she appears to be a really shy and reserved girl. She told me she is an introvert as well.
We texted for a day and then I ask her out on a specific day for dinner. She said she couldn't that day without a counter offer I then suggest another specific day, she said she couldn't due to certain plans but then mention she is free any other days.
So we set a definite plan and met up for dinner. The first date went well, she is very attentive and did 85% of the talking, mostly opening up herself to me, talking about her life and thoughts, she was interested in my personal life as well and asked me questions. she mentioned that she is looking for something long term and potentially for marriage. I tried to be humorous and made her laugh a lot. The conversations are light and funny, no heavy subject or negatives. She text me the name of a comedian during the date related to what we are talking about, which I think is her hint for me to text her afterwards.
I text her after the date, her response showed interest. I said I had to catch up with my work. Then we went no contact for 4 days.
I then ask her out for a second date, I did it with a voice message in the texting app. I sent two voice message in a row, the latter one contains the asking out part. She then reply to the first message, but say that the second message isn't clear and she cannot listen to it. Then I text her to ask her out instead for activity A, She say she is really bad at activity A and is busy on that day. I ask her out for activity B for another day, she says yes and we met up.
The second date went even better, I kept on making her laugh and make her open up herself to me, I paid for the dinner this time, and she gladly accepts with a spontaneous smile. She told me she was suffocated with work this week and only had few hrs of sleep everyday. Yet she still showed up. We played bowling and she stand a little too close to me multiple times. We had a walk after that, I kept the conversation light funny and humorous. She laugh and giggles at even my bad jokes. After she got on bus, she send me a text saying she enjoyed the night, I told her to get a good rest and then we will talk later.
The third time I ask her out, she did the same thing and says she isn't available to my first suggestion, but then this time I didn't ask for another day right away, I want to see if I hold back a little, will she counter offer me? So I just replied with I see and alright. She read the message,then didn't respond, I wait for an hour and then ask for another day, then BOOM no response. This time she didn't even click into the message, and after 48 hours, she still hasn't click into the message. I believe she must have read it in the phone notification, and that she chose not to show that she have read it ,on purpose.
So after 48 hours of silence, I sent a voice message which if she wants to listen to the content, she has to click into the chatbox. In which I ask if she's busy.
Although I can see that she has checked the app afterwards, she still hasn't click into the message.
I am thinking could it be that she is making me jump through hoops everytime? Here is my thought process.
The first time I ask her out, I have to ask twice before she gives counter offer. The second time, she says the voice is unclear, then I have to ask twice before getting her to agree. The third time, I try to break this pattern of having to ask twice, then she go silent.
Of course there is a possibility that she is just not interested in me, however, from my experience, I can tell that she is truly interested during the dates, from her eye contact, body language, how much she talks etc. Also, my impression of her is that she is a decent person showing courtesy during dates who doesn't seem to be the kind who would ghost like this..... any thoughts?
TL/DR: Had two great dates with a lady I met online, she reciprocates interest during the date and initiate texting afterwards, but she seems to be forcing me to ask her out twice ever time before agreeing to the date. I tried to break this pattern, then she stopped responding. Ideas?
We are both from very conservative cultures where even holding hands or kissing is reserved for people in a relationship.
And that she appears to be a really shy and reserved girl. She told me she is an introvert as well.
We texted for a day and then I ask her out on a specific day for dinner. She said she couldn't that day without a counter offer I then suggest another specific day, she said she couldn't due to certain plans but then mention she is free any other days.
So we set a definite plan and met up for dinner. The first date went well, she is very attentive and did 85% of the talking, mostly opening up herself to me, talking about her life and thoughts, she was interested in my personal life as well and asked me questions. she mentioned that she is looking for something long term and potentially for marriage. I tried to be humorous and made her laugh a lot. The conversations are light and funny, no heavy subject or negatives. She text me the name of a comedian during the date related to what we are talking about, which I think is her hint for me to text her afterwards.
I text her after the date, her response showed interest. I said I had to catch up with my work. Then we went no contact for 4 days.
I then ask her out for a second date, I did it with a voice message in the texting app. I sent two voice message in a row, the latter one contains the asking out part. She then reply to the first message, but say that the second message isn't clear and she cannot listen to it. Then I text her to ask her out instead for activity A, She say she is really bad at activity A and is busy on that day. I ask her out for activity B for another day, she says yes and we met up.
The second date went even better, I kept on making her laugh and make her open up herself to me, I paid for the dinner this time, and she gladly accepts with a spontaneous smile. She told me she was suffocated with work this week and only had few hrs of sleep everyday. Yet she still showed up. We played bowling and she stand a little too close to me multiple times. We had a walk after that, I kept the conversation light funny and humorous. She laugh and giggles at even my bad jokes. After she got on bus, she send me a text saying she enjoyed the night, I told her to get a good rest and then we will talk later.
The third time I ask her out, she did the same thing and says she isn't available to my first suggestion, but then this time I didn't ask for another day right away, I want to see if I hold back a little, will she counter offer me? So I just replied with I see and alright. She read the message,then didn't respond, I wait for an hour and then ask for another day, then BOOM no response. This time she didn't even click into the message, and after 48 hours, she still hasn't click into the message. I believe she must have read it in the phone notification, and that she chose not to show that she have read it ,on purpose.
So after 48 hours of silence, I sent a voice message which if she wants to listen to the content, she has to click into the chatbox. In which I ask if she's busy.
Although I can see that she has checked the app afterwards, she still hasn't click into the message.
I am thinking could it be that she is making me jump through hoops everytime? Here is my thought process.
The first time I ask her out, I have to ask twice before she gives counter offer. The second time, she says the voice is unclear, then I have to ask twice before getting her to agree. The third time, I try to break this pattern of having to ask twice, then she go silent.
Of course there is a possibility that she is just not interested in me, however, from my experience, I can tell that she is truly interested during the dates, from her eye contact, body language, how much she talks etc. Also, my impression of her is that she is a decent person showing courtesy during dates who doesn't seem to be the kind who would ghost like this..... any thoughts?
TL/DR: Had two great dates with a lady I met online, she reciprocates interest during the date and initiate texting afterwards, but she seems to be forcing me to ask her out twice ever time before agreeing to the date. I tried to break this pattern, then she stopped responding. Ideas?
