Is completely forgetting about outcome when approaching girls good? I want to know this because usually when a guy goes in worried about outcome, he fails. I'm talking about just going in there not wanting a number, not wanting a kiss, not wanting sex, not wanting anything from her. I'm talking about simply going up there and having a good time with the woman, not caring if you get laid or not. Just going up there genuine, with no agenda. So I guess what I'm asking is, is it good to approach with this mind set? Not expecting anything from her?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Is just completely forgetting about outcome when approaching girls good?
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
sandman6991
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2007
- Messages
- 299
- Reaction score
- 2
I say it's better to have a mindset of not CARING, instead of not "expecting" anything.
...Chase12 said:actually its whatever mindset u have that should be avoided
have u gotten a number yet? even 1?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Grand Wizzard Alamar
Master Don Juan
Bad mindset, cause you're basically talking to a girl for no reason and she'll probably see that and have very low interest.ElStud said:Is completely forgetting about outcome when approaching girls good? I want to know this because usually when a guy goes in worried about outcome, he fails. I'm talking about just going in there not wanting a number, not wanting a kiss, not wanting sex, not wanting anything from her. I'm talking about simply going up there and having a good time with the woman, not caring if you get laid or not. Just going up there genuine, with no agenda. So I guess what I'm asking is, is it good to approach with this mind set? Not expecting anything from her?
But, I agree with not caring about the outcome.
Show the girls that you're interested in them, but also transmit the message that you don't need them and could find another girl easily (it's best to give this message indirectly).
Alphamale1821
Senior Don Juan
I always go out with the mindset of having fun and making a new friend. That key word fun is simply what allows me to not worry about getting laid, or anything of the like. If a chick rejects me, so what i'm still having fun. If i get laid or kissed that night, i'm happy but regardless even if i didn't i'm still going to have fun. My mindset is "**** it go with the flow and have fun" I'm always down to make a new friend and try do something, new, fun and exciting
Depends on the type of person you are.
If you're petrified by failure and choke when expectations are present, sure, whatever helps.
If you thrive on tense situations, it's always good to have an objective to surpass.
People are different.
If you're petrified by failure and choke when expectations are present, sure, whatever helps.
If you thrive on tense situations, it's always good to have an objective to surpass.
People are different.
unnamed04
Don Juan
Yes it's a good mindset for an AFC, because it'll help you get over any anxieties you may have. But it doesn't really help your inner game, unless you aren't interested in becomming a real man, rather just another fake guy who gets a lot of girls (which I have no problem with, but it's definately not the life I want to live).
The best mindset is being a MAN. If you're out with a girl, just have fun. Don't restrict it to friends. Embrace your sexuality. If the opportunities arise, kino, escalate, kiss, whatever is needed.
Whenever the outcome is not what you had hoped it would be, WHO CARES? You can't do anything to change it so don't worry about it!! It wasn't meant to be just be happy you gave it a go, laugh it off with your mates over a beer and get on with your life.
Life's too short to worry about anything - just live it.
Most people's view on failure is an illusion. NOT going up to a girl and talking is FAILURE. Any second that passes that you aren't furthering your success is true failure.
Having a nice chat to a hottie at a cafe but her rejecting the number, that's just plain BAD LUCK my friend... Say "well see you around then, have a nice day", give her a nice smile and walk off laughing - learn from the experience. The only time you ever have the right to be pissed off is if you ever get rejected rudely or anything like that, which in that case, do whatever the **** you want because that ***** isn't worth your time of day.
The best mindset is being a MAN. If you're out with a girl, just have fun. Don't restrict it to friends. Embrace your sexuality. If the opportunities arise, kino, escalate, kiss, whatever is needed.
Whenever the outcome is not what you had hoped it would be, WHO CARES? You can't do anything to change it so don't worry about it!! It wasn't meant to be just be happy you gave it a go, laugh it off with your mates over a beer and get on with your life.
Life's too short to worry about anything - just live it.
Most people's view on failure is an illusion. NOT going up to a girl and talking is FAILURE. Any second that passes that you aren't furthering your success is true failure.
Having a nice chat to a hottie at a cafe but her rejecting the number, that's just plain BAD LUCK my friend... Say "well see you around then, have a nice day", give her a nice smile and walk off laughing - learn from the experience. The only time you ever have the right to be pissed off is if you ever get rejected rudely or anything like that, which in that case, do whatever the **** you want because that ***** isn't worth your time of day.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
It is a great mindset to have when you are starting out. Your main goal is to be relaxed and have fun.
Once you are ok going up to and having a fun time with girls the you can start worrying about getting their numbers and asking them out.
Once you are ok going up to and having a fun time with girls the you can start worrying about getting their numbers and asking them out.
Kev07
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,706
- Reaction score
- 9
ElStud said:
I'm taking that as a no, come on bro, CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!
As for your original question, i say a good mindset is to not give a damn if you get rejected, or even better, laugh at it.
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
If you are an American then you are most likely approaching hors - and why should you worry - when, if you are successful in attaining such an incongruent beast, you have failed!!
MooseGod
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 785
- Reaction score
- 11
I like that... "incongruent beast."Last Man Standing said:If you are an American then you are most likely approaching hors - and why should you worry - when, if you are successful in attaining such an incongruent beast, you have failed!!
I think approaching without visualizing an outcome is one of the best things you can do... you can't really judge attraction until you at least talk to the girl. And regardless of how you may feel, you don't need a woman. You need food, shelter, and clothing. Everything else is just icing on the cake. So fvck your fears, fvck what anybody else thinks of you, fvck outcomes, and you might just fvck the girl if you play your cards right.
Edit: Does anybody else think these forum filters are a bit ridiculous? We should all be adults here, why can't we use swear words to emphasize a point? Jeez, I hate censorship.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.