She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Alexander the Great said:What you are doing wrong is extremely obvious from what you posted and the way you posted it in.
You are attaching value to the outcome of your efforts at approaching. You are needy. While it isn't necessarily that this sentiment shows in your actions and that being the reason for the lack of getting something back, more importantly you are probably allowing yourself and your value to be determined by your level of success at approaching. And that is the gist of what being a DJ is not about. Let alone approaching and subsequent actions.
Approach because you want to have FUN and LEARN. Not because you NEED a date.
So yes, it's most likely you. Because it's ALWAYS you. You can't change the world. You can only change yourself. So either you are approaching the wrong women, or you are approaching in the wrong way, with the wrong mindset.
Think on it.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Just because you're doing all the right things, doesn't mean you're doing them WELL.OP said: