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Is it the girl,or the approach? What causes an attention wh*re?

Igetit!

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What causes a woman to be an attention wh*re? I was just thinking about my dating history,how some women I approached,I either had a date or two then it was over,or I ended up in a LTR. But then there was a third type scenario in which I'd talk to a woman every now and then before asking her out,then when I'd finally pop the question,I'd get turned down. She'd turn me down,but it felt like she still wanted me to continue talking to/pursuing her.

Although I do realize now that all they wanted was just the attention,what I don't understand is what caused this. And this has happened a couple of times. I know that women like attention from men,I mean they wouldn't spend three extra hours in the mirror every morning doing their make-up,hair,trying to find the perfect outfit for nothing. Or going to the exetremes of getting boob implants and other procedures if it didn't get some type of reaction from guys. So I do believe that women want attention men,from as many men as possible,however,they won't date all of them. Some of them they'll date,and the others,they'll just trying to keep them around just for the attention. This I know. What I don't get,is what it is that causes a guy to be put in one of the two catergories,the dating one or the just attention giving one. Maybe one of you guys have figured this one out.

So which is it? Is it just the women themselves who decide the catergory to put you in,or is it the way you approach her that determines where you'll be?
 

Jitterbug

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I know a few AWs. It's nothing to do with your approach, although you'd be wasting your time if you were to do so witth a serious attention while failing to recognize that she's an AW. Those girls are just in a phase of their lives where they just want to have fun and not be in a relationship. Whether that's stupid is up for debates, but unless you're such an exceptional man to them that they just can't help but change their life around for you, you're already in the list of orbiters before you even approach. They may be very attracted to you and will fvck you, but if you want to be more serious then they will dump you. Every now and then, I'd hear one of those girls lament that they had to dump a guy they thought is great but appeared at the wrong time in their life.
 

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Jitterbug said:
It's nothing to do with your approach, although you'd be wasting your time if you were to do so witth a serious attention while failing to recognize that she's an AW.
I hear what you're saying about recognizing whether a woman is a AW or not,but what I don't understand is at what point did she become one. Was it before you had even approached her,or what is after you approached and failed to generate any attraction/interest? I believe that when you first approach a woman,at the very beginning,she's open and on the fence about you. Then your talk,behavior,and body language all give her an impression of you that either makes her attracted to you or doesn't. So if your talk,behavior,and bodylanguage doesn't create attraction and she decides she isn't interested in you,then is it at that point that she decides to be an AW, to simply to continue getting attention from you,even through she knows full well she has no interest in you? Because I'm leaning towards thinking that a woman being an AW is just some switch she flips on or off depending on whether or not she's interested in the guy who appraoches her.
Jitterbug said:
Every now and then, I'd hear one of those girls lament that they had to dump a guy they thought is great but appeared at the wrong time in their life.
Now I agree with you on this one. I've actually had something like this hapen to me before.
 

WalkingStick

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I've never heard the theory that a girl DECIDES to be an AW based on the guy, but it's interesting and I suppose not impossible.

With that said, I don't think it has anything to do with your approach or you in any way for that matter. I think AW's are just AW's. They may flirt with you even if they aren't interested, but that's because they are AW's, not the other way around.

Even if an AW is attracted to you, she will still be an AW.

As far as the guys she decides to date as opposed to just being a worshipper, I think that DOES have to do with attraction. She'll date the guy she finds most attractive (or highest value, you know AW's) while still flirting with every guy she can. Not a good situation for any guy involved
 

Jitterbug

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I'm not into theories that try to decode a woman's mind (that can only lead to insanity). I only care enough to have the knowledge to recognize an AW when I'm dealing with one. Whether she's a full time AW or there's a little switch in her head that does it every 3 hours, what's the difference? If she's not truly interested in me and isn't investing her time to be with me, she gets the boot.

Igetit! said:
I believe that when you first approach a woman,at the very beginning,she's open and on the fence about you. Then your talk,behavior,and body language all give her an impression of you that either makes her attracted to you or doesn't. So if your talk,behavior,and bodylanguage doesn't create attraction and she decides she isn't interested in you,then is it at that point that she decides to be an AW, to simply to continue getting attention from you,even through she knows full well she has no interest in you?
An AW might even be attracted to you and fvck you, but it doesn't stop her from being one. She might flirt with other guys too and fvck them behind your back.

Not all of them are open to any possibility right off the bat. Some are in their party / fun phase and do everything to avoid getting into a relationship. When a guy they think is cute approaches them, they basically just want him to be on the same page (i.e ONS or short fling) so as long as he doesn't fvck it up by mistakenly having a serious intention for a relationship (no "get to know you better" BS), he'll be fine.

For the rest that they have no intention of fvcking, AWs don't want attention from every man - only from the one they find useful.

It's quite useful to make friends with one or two of them so you can learn from the other side. :)
 

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DonJuan11

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Igetit! said:
But then there was a third type scenario in which I'd talk to a woman every now and then before asking her out,then when I'd finally pop the question,I'd get turned down. She'd turn me down,but it felt like she still wanted me to continue talking to/pursuing her.

Who cares what she wants? Why would you continue talking to any women after they turn you down?

So I do believe that women want attention men,from as many men as possible,however,they won't date all of them.

Of course they wouldn't. You wouldn't date every girl who gave you attention either.


What I don't get,is what it is that causes a guy to be put in one of the two catergories,the dating one or the just attention giving one.

The dating one turns her on so much that she gets weak knees just thinking about him. The attention one doesn't know how to turn her on so he keeps smothering her with attention, calls her often, and is generally boring. She doesn't have to do much except pretend to like him and look good.

There is nothing wrong with this. If all I had to do is dress good so some girl would think she could sleep with me, I would keep it going as long as I could. It would be great for my ego.


So which is it? Is it just the women themselves who decide the catergory to put you in,or is it the way you approach her that determines where you'll be?

I don't understand this statement. It's not two different options, it's cause and effect. They way you approach her will make her decide which category to put you in.

I love guys who put down girls who won't go out with them or sleep with them. "She's a attention wh0re, she's a bvtch, she's a lesbian". They never think it could be them that's the problem.
 

MisterMcGee

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"There is nothing wrong with this. If all I had to do is dress good so some girl would think she could sleep with me, I would keep it going as long as I could. It would be great for my ego."

Guilty as charged :p
 

SharinganUser

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It has nothing to do with what catagory the girl puts you in. It has entirely to do with how you view yourself.

If you have a backbone you won't stroke her ego (unless it leads to her stroking you [wink]). You'll either fvck/date her, or move on. You won't be kept arround for her ego if you have any self respect.
 

Igetit!

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Yeah,I think I'm getting a better understanding of the so called "AW".
I like what Don Juan11 said about "cause and effect". It kind of backs up my theory about AWs. All women like attention,therefore in essence,all women are AWs,but they only use guys who they aren't interested in for attention only. So if a woman is approached by a guy who she does like,she'll still be an AW,but an AW with an invested interest.

My original question was "Is it the girl,or the approach?",but I guess it's both.
All women seek male attention,but the way you approach her determines whether it's your attention only they want,or you yourself as a romantic interest.
 

sodbuster

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All girls live for attention, BUT the AW HAS to be the center of attention. She will flirt with all the guys,wear clothes that will draw attraction ALL the time. When she's 40, she's still looking to wear a bikini on a float in the parade, or wearing tube tops to the bar. Ifs that isn't enoough,she'll grind with a guy, a girl or take a spin around the pole like a stripper.

It doesn't matter if she wants you or not-you don't want her
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Attention Wh0res become ones from their child hood. Mom or dad wasn't there. Or All of their life they were spoiled with attention. Things like that make them want attention.
 

jafyk

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Well, I guess the answer to the OP's question may have already been answered so I'ill just mention some related matters.
I once spoke to a married woman and she said she hated when guys approached her even after they knew she was married and she really seemed offended by this. She is a beautiful woman and I couldn't understand her being offended. I told her to 1) see it as a compliment 2) Find a humorous way to respond instead of letting it bother her like that.
While I think many women are AWs and we point the finger. What about us guys. When we play sports and act like we are better than our team mates, or when we dress up nice and buy the latest gadget (cars, large screen TVs etc) what is really the motivation behind this? I think if we can be honest we would agree that it is to gain attention. After all while some of us may say we don't want women to want us for our money. Yet a lot of us acquire these things with the hope that they will draw women to us. Perhaps that may not be the primary reason for getting those things. Wouldn't that classify as some form of attention seeking. If you went out socially with a girl and she was giving attention to others and hardly you. Wouldn't you feel disrespected, ignored? And why is that? Is that because you're an attention *****. I think we need to clearly define what constitutes AWism. I believe on some level we all love and value attention.
 

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Well, I guess the answer to the OP's question may have already been answered so I'ill just mention some related matters.
I once spoke to a married woman and she said she hated when guys approached her even after they knew she was married and she really seemed offended by this. She is a beautiful woman and I couldn't understand her being offended. I told her to 1) see it as a compliment 2) Find a humorous way to respond instead of letting it bother her like that.
While I think many women are AWs and we point the finger. What about us guys. When we play sports and act like we are better than our team mates, or when we dress up nice and buy the latest gadget (cars, large screen TVs etc) what is really the motivation behind this? I think if we can be honest we would agree that it is to gain attention. After all while some of us may say we don't want women to want us for our money. Yet a lot of us acquire these things with the hope that they will draw women to us. Perhaps that may not be the primary reason for getting those things. Wouldn't that classify as some form of attention seeking. If you went out socially with a girl and she was giving attention to others and hardly you. Wouldn't you feel disrespected, ignored? And why is that? Is that because you're an attention *****. I think we need to clearly define what constitutes AWism. I believe on some level we all love and value attention.
 

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who knows how to delete one of a double post?
 

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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Attention Wh0res become ones from their child hood. Mom or dad wasn't there. Or All of their life they were spoiled with attention. Things like that make them want attention.
I suppose this could be true. It definately makes sense. Both being spoiled and/or being starved with attention will cause someone to seek it out all the more. My curiosity is where the distinction lies when being approached being men.
I believe a woman will be flattered by the attention she gets when a guy approaches her whether she likes the guy or not. But with the guy she likes,she'll invest something of herself into the interaction,whereas with the guy she doesn't like,she'll toy with him and lead him on simply to continue getting the attention that makes her feel wanted and desired.

sodbuster said:
All girls live for attention,BUT the AW HAS to be the center of attention.
I actually never thought of it that way. Getting some attention vs. being the center of attention. That's interesting.

The thing that sometime confuses me about whether a woman is an AW or not is that sometimes I'll see a post or thread about a guy getting a girl's number,he'll call her to set up a date,then she'll give him some excuse about being busy,or how she fell asleep,or having to work. Then he'll wait two or three day to call her again,then the next time he calls she'll either give him another excuse or she'll agree to a date with him,then as the day of the date gets closer,she call him and cancel again. So then the guy will just decide to forget about it and move on,then two weeks later guess what happens?
Out of the blue,out of nowhere,she'll call him just to say what's up. Then this makes the guy think she's interested in him,so he tries to set up another date,then it all starts all over again with her giving another excuse.

So the guy will get frustrated and call her an AW. But then this same woman who he labeled an attention wh*re will end up dating/going out with some other guy. This is what trips me up at times. To the first guy,she's an AW,but to the second guy,she's his date/potential girlfriend. If a woman is an AW,then she's an AW. So why was she an AW to the first guy,but actually went out with and dated the second one? That's why I asked is it the girl or the approach. Because I'm sure that all of us at some point in time approached or met a woman who we classified as an AW,but then later on,we found out she was dating so and so. Well,if she was truely an AW,then why wasn't she an AW with so and so as well? I think it's a combination of the two,with part of it being the woman herself wanting attention,and the other part being how the man presents himself during the approach.
 

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Just because an AW actually dates or fvcks a guy and not just dangles the carrot in front of him doesn't make her any less of an AW. Do you think her guy appreciates her leading other guys on and setting herself up for potential branch swing actions (if he knows about it)?

I dated & hooked up with one AW recently. It didn't make me think she's anything else but one, even when she was choking on my meat and not the other 3 dudes she was stringing along (2 of them right in front of me, but they didn't know that I was dating her). She has no interest in those dudes and is STILL stringing them along now, months after I dumped her. One of those dudes is very useful to her because he gives her lift to/from dance classes and buys her drinks, hence she likes to have him around. Btw at no stage I ever considered her a "potential girlfriend".

I think you're still in the mindset of "woman fvck me = good; woman no fvck me = bad". The ones that date & fvck you can be more of a pain in the arse! In fact, some of the attached ones are the worst at attention wh0ring - as they have a "I have a boyfriend" get-out-of-jail card so they can justify anything.
 

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Igetit! said:
I suppose this could be true. It definately makes sense. Both being spoiled and/or being starved with attention will cause someone to seek it out all the more. My curiosity is where the distinction lies when being approached being men.
I believe a woman will be flattered by the attention she gets when a guy approaches her whether she likes the guy or not. But with the guy she likes,she'll invest something of herself into the interaction,whereas with the guy she doesn't like,she'll toy with him and lead him on simply to continue getting the attention that makes her feel wanted and desired.

I actually never thought of it that way. Getting some attention vs. being the center of attention. That's interesting.

The thing that sometime confuses me about whether a woman is an AW or not is that sometimes I'll see a post or thread about a guy getting a girl's number,he'll call her to set up a date,then she'll give him some excuse about being busy,or how she fell asleep,or having to work. Then he'll wait two or three day to call her again,then the next time he calls she'll either give him another excuse or she'll agree to a date with him,then as the day of the date gets closer,she call him and cancel again. So then the guy will just decide to forget about it and move on,then two weeks later guess what happens?
Out of the blue,out of nowhere,she'll call him just to say what's up. Then this makes the guy think she's interested in him,so he tries to set up another date,then it all starts all over again with her giving another excuse.

So the guy will get frustrated and call her an AW. But then this same woman who he labeled an attention wh*re will end up dating/going out with some other guy. This is what trips me up at times. To the first guy,she's an AW,but to the second guy,she's his date/potential girlfriend. If a woman is an AW,then she's an AW. So why was she an AW to the first guy,but actually went out with and dated the second one? That's why I asked is it the girl or the approach. Because I'm sure that all of us at some point in time approached or met a woman who we classified as an AW,but then later on,we found out she was dating so and so. Well,if she was truely an AW,then why wasn't she an AW with so and so as well? I think it's a combination of the two,with part of it being the woman herself wanting attention,and the other part being how the man presents himself during the approach.
Well, i think Jitterbug has pretty much laid everything to rest here. I can relate with the example you gave. I wish I had known the attention ***** concept in relation to the example you just gave. The thing is that there was a female friend I had who gave me advice and she told me some of the girls I was dealing with were AWs (well she didn't use the word AW) and if I had known better I would've known better. At the times the AWs would come back and I'd think they were for real and my female friend was wrong and then the same thing would happen and somehow you wish that it would change but it never does. Soon, she stops returning the calls, makes up excuses and then perhaps when she's not getting any action at her end then she calls you up and you think it's changed and then the same vicious cycle starts and repeats. That is what makes me sometimes question the waiting on so many days to call a girl after you've spoken to her or doing so to bring her interest level back up. Sometimes it works and then most times you don't realize is that what you think is working (changing) is an AW playing her game well. I once read somewhere on SS that when a girl meets a guy she decides what role you'd play in her life. I had a female friend she'd let me finger her but she'd never let me F her and she wouldn't even touch me back in anyway. I'm ashamed to admit this but that was the past.

On another note a question popped into my mind. A girl I was recently seeing wanted to see me peeing and I said no but the door was ajar. Anyway, later I showed her my stuff and she said she had only wanted to see me peeing. Another girl in the past watched me shower. What is up with these strange requests. I mean why would a girl be more interested in seeing me peeing that my actual d!ck?
 

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Jitterbug said:
Just because an AW actually dates or fvcks a guy and not just dangles the carrot in front of him doesn't make her any less of an AW. Do you think her guy appreciates her leading other guys on and setting herself up for potential branch swing actions (if he knows about it)?
Agreed. I see what your saying about women "dangling carrots". Like you said,a woman dating a guy doesn't make her any less of an AW. In the past,I was actually one of those clueless guys getting carrots dangled in front of me making me think that the woman was actually interested. Then a week or two later,I'd see the same girl who "dangled carrots" in front of me crying about how some guy was treating her. So obviuosly she toyed with me,but this other guy had her wrapped around his finger,yelling at her and telling her what to do,and her doing what he wanted out of fear of displeasing him.
Jitterbug said:
I dated & hooked up with one AW recently. It didn't make me think she's anything else but one, even when she was choking on my meat and not the other 3 dudes she was stringing along (2 of them right in front of me, but they didn't know that I was dating her). She has no interest in those dudes and is STILL stringing them along now, months after I dumped her. One of those dudes is very useful to her because he gives her lift to/from dance classes and buys her drinks, hence she likes to have him around. Btw at no stage I ever considered her a "potential girlfriend".
I like this example. This is exactly my point. You met a girl who was an AW,but the way she acted and behaved towards the "3 guys she was stringing along",and the behavior she had towards you was different,even though it was the same girl/AW. You knew she was an AW,but the other guys didn't. Therefore,she couldn't "string" you along like the other guys. So her not being able to toy with you makes her interested in dating you,but this doesn't make her any less of an AW. It's just that since she can't toy with you,she'll either seek out or take advantage of other guys' attention by toying with them. So when you were out with this girl,and she was leading these guys on in front of you,you knew what was going on,and she knew that you knew what she was doing.

jafyk said:
On another note a question popped in my mind. A girl I was recently seeing wanted to see me peeing and I said no but the door was ajar. Anyway,later I showed her my stuff and she said she only wanted to see me peeing. Another girl is the past watched me shower. What is up with these strange request.
Did you just read Jitterbug's reply? You want to know what's the deal with these off the wall request you're getting from girls? You're one of the 3 guys Jitterbug was talking about.
 

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Igetit! said:
Agreed. I see what your saying about women "dangling carrots". Like you said,a woman dating a guy doesn't make her any less of an AW. In the past,I was actually one of those clueless guys getting carrots dangled in front of me making me think that the woman was actually interested. Then a week or two later,I'd see the same girl who "dangled carrots" in front of me crying about how some guy was treating her. So obviuosly she toyed with me,but this other guy had her wrapped around his finger,yelling at her and telling her what to do,and her doing what he wanted out of fear of displeasing him.

I like this example. This is exactly my point. You met a girl who was an AW,but the way she acted and behaved towards the "3 guys she was stringing along",and the behavior she had towards you was different,even though it was the same girl/AW. You knew she was an AW,but the other guys didn't. Therefore,she couldn't "string" you along like the other guys. So her not being able to toy with you makes her interested in dating you,but this doesn't make her any less of an AW. It's just that since she can't toy with you,she'll either seek out or take advantage of other guys' attention by toying with them. So when you were out with this girl,and she was leading these guys on in front of you,you knew what was going on,and she knew that you knew what she was doing.

Did you just read Jitterbug's reply? You want to know what's the deal with these off the wall request you're getting from girls? You're one of the 3 guys Jitterbug was talking about.
What's your point you didn't asnwer any of my question. The girl with the shower request I saw her steady for a few months, she did more than sex for me. So, what have these requests got to do with AW? It wasn't like they said to me "hey! do you wanna see me shower" which would sound more like an AW request. I'm not saying you're wrong I just want a clearer explanation. On the humorous side perhaps I have been 3 of those guys are different instances.
 
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