Is it strange to still feel something for your oneitis even after months apart?

[Kal0051]

Just wondering. I hadn't seen this girl for months and months (haven't really thought about her either). Recently I ran into her and it was strange, we didn't really talk just glanced at each other and held eye contact. I obviously still felt something but I just brushed it off.

Then I met up with a friend of hers for a few hours (a cool girl, attractive but has a bf, damn). Anyway, she told me that she had something to explain (she's been saying this for a few weeks). She then goes on to tell me about my former oneitis and her new relationship (incidentally I know the guy she's seeing). We talk about it for a bit, I act like I don't care (at the time I wasn't surprised, I'm psychic when it came to my old oneitis). I don't understand why she told me, it really has nothing to do with either of us. Maybe she was testing me to see if I still care for her friend.

Truth is while she's not my oneitis anymore I still do care about her. The news her friend told me doesn't bother me but I'd rather not care for this chick at all. What do you guys think?

 

[MisterMcGee]

The thing you're talking about is *gasp* attraction! You're attracted to her. Big deal. I'm still attracted to my oneitis that I had a year ago. Doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself feel anything for her, or that I even ever felt anything genuine for her in the first place.
Oneitis emotions are simply these: attraction, lust, desire, and attachment. They are all dime-a-dozen emotions you can feel for anyone who is hot and kind, aside from "attachment," which you are 100% responsible for not handling carefully.

Keep yourself in check. Oneitis is an addiction, and self pity is a big part of it.

 

[PeeGee]

I have a thing for some girls I cannot get. Either they have a boyfriend or they live thousand(s) of miles away from me, and that's too damn far away for one woman.

When I was focused on oneitis as a sin, I would chastise myself for thinking about these women. 'PG there are other women and this is just one. Get over her and stop pining'. Well it doesn't work. Dating other women didn't work either.

Eventually it dawned on me. The reason I found an attractive woman attractive was that I wasn't gay. I didn't have the dreaded oneitis and I wasn't putting her on a pedastal -- I just simply was attracted to an attractive woman like I am programmed to be.

The dangerous thing is to be emotionally dependent on a woman -- it's not to be attracted to them. There's a difference.

 

[Kal0051]

The dangerous thing is to be emotionally dependent on a woman -- it's not to be attracted to them. There's a difference.

yeah, I'm not emotionally dependent on her, but I'm sure what I'm feeling is more than just simple attraction (though it isn't as strong as before). I guess her friend just got me thinking about her.

 

[Lexington]

It's very accurate to describe oneitis as an addiction. And like all addictions it can be tough to crack. Even after your feelings for a girl have weakened, they can easily relapse. I liken it to those people that quit smoking. After a while their cravings go away. But if they ever decide to try a cigarette again they're hooked once more.

It is more than just simple attraction. When I was suffering from oneitis, I noticed plenty of attractive girls around. I even knew consciously that many of these girls were more beautiful, smarter and more fun than my oneitis. But I didn't have those same feelings for them.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Well Written.

 

[Maxtro]

Oneitis is evil, it truly is.

All my oneitis's ended for one reason, I stopped seeing her (looking.) In other words, the only way I stopped having oneitis feelings for a girl were because she we were not in each others presence and I never saw them again. My oneitis can go into remission for several months. But if I run into her again and end up being around her for a few a bit it will spring up again.

Right now I'm slowly getting over a girl. I'm just really scared that she will end up working with me again in the fall semester. I really hope that she doesn't. I don't to start liking her again.

 

[djinhell]

Interesting thread, especially as I saw my old oneitis a couple weeks ago.

I didn't have any relapse problems, however a part of me occasionally fantasises about proving her wrong...for example she decides she wants me and I reject her...

strange I know lol

DJ IN HELL

 

[Poonani Maker]

My oneitis made me a better person, kinda. I worked on myself, yes, but she started it. She made me remember who I was as a child. She made me love myself just as much as I loved her. When I looked into the mirror it was almost as if it was her eyes I was seeing. She had me locked up w/keys. For almost 2 years of not having seen her, I still think about her. The other girls around me are aplenty, and NONE of them have made me feel for them the way she did. They just don't have the power she did. She could shoot firearms well. She was very talented, especially with her coordination and her body language, almost like a stripper. She was basically a DOLL. I fall for dolls I guess.

A lot of girls aren't dolls.

I remember my love for her awakening me to the NATURE of girls. Her love made me see the stark differences between us and girls, how they are just different creatures alltogether. She made me see them as weaker, though she was strong and extremely honest, or as people to be held in my arms, to be loved, that they wanted our love.

That's what she made me see.