"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Is It Scientifically Impossible For Some Of Us To Change?Saw Sumthin Interestin..

Itiswhatitis

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I was watchin a show about what was called "Ferral Children". It talked about how these kids were neglected socially andd didnt interact when they were young. They showed a xray of the brain of a ferrel child and how it was much smaller than that of someone who socially active. Just as far as their being no activity especially on the left side of the brain.
At a certain age socially there were things that it was too late for these ferral children to learn.




Becuase the brain had not been "excercised" enough during the prime growing stages. Thiss was a little depressing to me because it made me believe possibly it was too late to get better at certain things socially. Anybody know if this is the case or not?im probaly wrong on some facts but this is the gist of it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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musclyjerk

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You're right, I saw that program. That crazy girl barking like a dog 'cos she was basically raised on the streets of some Eastern European country with wild street dogs? Then she was unable to learn key social skills once rescued.

I think it's a different kettle of fish. If you aren't that social or are naturally an introvert, there's a hell of a lot one can do to improve their social skills - you may never be as good socially as those who are natural extroverts and born with oodles of social intelligence, but you're you.. and you're great anyway, right?

Yeah it's frustrating not having super social skills at times but they aren't everything. You're you, that's life and it won't stop you finding a partner and settling down one day.

The Muscly Jerk
 

rrrrr

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they lack intelligence because they did not get any interaction when they were younger. studies have shown if you give children and babies lots of attention and stimuli when they are younger, they grow up to be more intelligent, but this does not mean they are more socially skilled in new settings, or if someone was neglected as a child, they can't overcome these obstacles and become a social person. i did not watch the program but i knew this from before.
 

realsmoothie

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There's absolutely tons of evidence that shows you do most of your learning when you are VERY young and that it's difficult to learn certain things after that because your brain has changed. For example, it's extremely easy to learn a new language when you're under five or six, and much more difficult to do so after.

HOWEVER... that's only certain things. You certainly don't learn much about being social in a complex social world when you're two years old.

I'd say for any given adult learning the kinds of thigns that are necessary to becoming DJ-ish the changes are much less drastic. In fact, I'd argue that it only takes a few minor changes in attitude...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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whistler

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Pakwah said:
I, too, have an interest in feral children.
lol

man that sounds creepy



The answer to the original question is that, of everything you're capable of, some things can be changed easily, some things can't be changed any noticeable amount despite lots of effort, and some things will change progressively with a fair amount of effort. Most knowledge on this (in terms of how the brain is literally working) is limited to perception and moving your muscles.

Regarding DJ-related stuff, like say socializing ability, no one knows to what extent your BRAIN will allow you to improve socially. It's a complicated a question and we don't have the data yet. But if you want to know, in practice, if people can change in such a way, you're probably best off asking a behavioral therapist. To my limited knowledge on the topic, most social abilities can be changed, albeit slowly and with a decent amount of forethought and planning.

whistler
 

Skel

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Lol I saw ferral children as well. I found it funny that a 15 year old girl was barking at the camera
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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doctoroxygen

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realsmoothie said:
There's absolutely tons of evidence that shows you do most of your learning when you are VERY young and that it's difficult to learn certain things after that because your brain has changed.
This was true ten or fifteen years ago, but recent research indicates that this is false. It implies a lack of neural plasticity which simply isn't there. Your brain is constantly changing. And while there's evidence of a "critical period" for language development in songbirds, the only evidence we have in humans is the feral children example, which is hardly experimentally controlled.

Answer: Nobody knows for sure if there's a critical period in human development for learning these things, but right now the preponderance of evidence supports neural plasticity.
 

whistler

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doctoroxygen said:
... And while there's evidence of a "critical period" for language development in songbirds, the only evidence we have in humans is the feral children example, which is hardly experimentally controlled.
Of course there's also lots of data on age of second-language acquisition.
 

Holland

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So u believe some people are born more social than others?
I believe you're an excuser. Get out there and make something happen
 

doctoroxygen

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whistler said:
Of course there's also lots of data on age of second-language acquisition.
Right, and the majority of that data suggests that there's a SLIGHT decline in second-language-learning ability as you age, not the massive dropoff that is commonly believed.
 

whistler

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doctoroxygen said:
Right, and the majority of that data suggests that there's a SLIGHT decline in second-language-learning ability as you age, not the massive dropoff that is commonly believed.
True, but there's, perhaps, never complete fluency, even after 20 years of submersive exposure and practice.

Regardless, I'm sure we agree that the data are weak all around.

I think the OP was wondering about social skills in particular. I'm at a loss there.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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