Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Is It Scientifically Impossible For Some Of Us To Change?Saw Sumthin Interestin..

Itiswhatitis

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I was watchin a show about what was called "Ferral Children". It talked about how these kids were neglected socially andd didnt interact when they were young. They showed a xray of the brain of a ferrel child and how it was much smaller than that of someone who socially active. Just as far as their being no activity especially on the left side of the brain.
At a certain age socially there were things that it was too late for these ferral children to learn.




Becuase the brain had not been "excercised" enough during the prime growing stages. Thiss was a little depressing to me because it made me believe possibly it was too late to get better at certain things socially. Anybody know if this is the case or not?im probaly wrong on some facts but this is the gist of it.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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musclyjerk

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You're right, I saw that program. That crazy girl barking like a dog 'cos she was basically raised on the streets of some Eastern European country with wild street dogs? Then she was unable to learn key social skills once rescued.

I think it's a different kettle of fish. If you aren't that social or are naturally an introvert, there's a hell of a lot one can do to improve their social skills - you may never be as good socially as those who are natural extroverts and born with oodles of social intelligence, but you're you.. and you're great anyway, right?

Yeah it's frustrating not having super social skills at times but they aren't everything. You're you, that's life and it won't stop you finding a partner and settling down one day.

The Muscly Jerk
 

rrrrr

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they lack intelligence because they did not get any interaction when they were younger. studies have shown if you give children and babies lots of attention and stimuli when they are younger, they grow up to be more intelligent, but this does not mean they are more socially skilled in new settings, or if someone was neglected as a child, they can't overcome these obstacles and become a social person. i did not watch the program but i knew this from before.
 

realsmoothie

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There's absolutely tons of evidence that shows you do most of your learning when you are VERY young and that it's difficult to learn certain things after that because your brain has changed. For example, it's extremely easy to learn a new language when you're under five or six, and much more difficult to do so after.

HOWEVER... that's only certain things. You certainly don't learn much about being social in a complex social world when you're two years old.

I'd say for any given adult learning the kinds of thigns that are necessary to becoming DJ-ish the changes are much less drastic. In fact, I'd argue that it only takes a few minor changes in attitude...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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whistler

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Pakwah said:
I, too, have an interest in feral children.
lol

man that sounds creepy



The answer to the original question is that, of everything you're capable of, some things can be changed easily, some things can't be changed any noticeable amount despite lots of effort, and some things will change progressively with a fair amount of effort. Most knowledge on this (in terms of how the brain is literally working) is limited to perception and moving your muscles.

Regarding DJ-related stuff, like say socializing ability, no one knows to what extent your BRAIN will allow you to improve socially. It's a complicated a question and we don't have the data yet. But if you want to know, in practice, if people can change in such a way, you're probably best off asking a behavioral therapist. To my limited knowledge on the topic, most social abilities can be changed, albeit slowly and with a decent amount of forethought and planning.

whistler
 

Skel

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Lol I saw ferral children as well. I found it funny that a 15 year old girl was barking at the camera
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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doctoroxygen

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realsmoothie said:
There's absolutely tons of evidence that shows you do most of your learning when you are VERY young and that it's difficult to learn certain things after that because your brain has changed.
This was true ten or fifteen years ago, but recent research indicates that this is false. It implies a lack of neural plasticity which simply isn't there. Your brain is constantly changing. And while there's evidence of a "critical period" for language development in songbirds, the only evidence we have in humans is the feral children example, which is hardly experimentally controlled.

Answer: Nobody knows for sure if there's a critical period in human development for learning these things, but right now the preponderance of evidence supports neural plasticity.
 

whistler

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doctoroxygen said:
... And while there's evidence of a "critical period" for language development in songbirds, the only evidence we have in humans is the feral children example, which is hardly experimentally controlled.
Of course there's also lots of data on age of second-language acquisition.
 

Holland

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So u believe some people are born more social than others?
I believe you're an excuser. Get out there and make something happen
 

doctoroxygen

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whistler said:
Of course there's also lots of data on age of second-language acquisition.
Right, and the majority of that data suggests that there's a SLIGHT decline in second-language-learning ability as you age, not the massive dropoff that is commonly believed.
 

whistler

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doctoroxygen said:
Right, and the majority of that data suggests that there's a SLIGHT decline in second-language-learning ability as you age, not the massive dropoff that is commonly believed.
True, but there's, perhaps, never complete fluency, even after 20 years of submersive exposure and practice.

Regardless, I'm sure we agree that the data are weak all around.

I think the OP was wondering about social skills in particular. I'm at a loss there.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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