Is it right to judge a girl for "being a slut?"

[OnTheWayUp]

Discussion: is it right to judge a girl for sleeping with lots of guys? After what number of guys does a girl become "a slut" in your eyes? Do people on here belive that it's ok for a guy to sleep with as many girls as he wants, but judge girls for doing the same?


My view to get things started: I really don't care how many guys a girl has slept with, and recognise that we men are rarely going to get an honest answer to this question anyway. That said, if a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, it can be a sign of very low self-esteem/ being a AW, and this has the potential to cause problems in a relationship context. It is the low self-esteem/ AW issue rather than "being easy" that I see as a potential hazard.

When women put out, especially when this occurs soon after the first meeting, they want to know that we will not judge them for sleeping with us in the same way that most men and almost all women will. It is my opinion that it is essential to convey this to a potential partner early on. Engaging in casual sex is, for both sexes, a way of enjoying sexuality as a normal part of a healthy lifestyle, and we should not shame people for it.


Any other opinions are very welcome.

 

[r0cky]

I say dont judge unless you want to be judged. Making judgements of others only causes negativity for yourself and the other person. But if you can see one benefit to it I'd like to hear it.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

If someone wants to sleep around who cares?

Personally I wouldn't choose a girl who got around for an LTR or even for sex. I wouldn't want to catch anything.. And I sure as hell wouldn't want a girl that the whole town has banged. That's just me though.

 

[st_99]

A lot of grey area in this question but you know what? I don't think it matters and thats because there will be a number of other obvious things that she will reveal about herself (besides sexual past) that will allow you to make a qualified judgement about her makeup, character, ethics, morals, etc.. and you won't even need to know how many guys she's banged.

 

[Rogue]

OnTheWayUp:
After what number of guys does a girl become "a slut" in your eyes?

I have a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.

Do people on here belive that it's ok for a guy to sleep with as many girls as he wants, but judge girls for doing the same?

There is no double standard because there is a profound difference: most chicks can easily get laid whenever they want, but pimpin' ain't easy. Men are rewarded for the challenge but there is no challenge in it for a cute chick.

That said, if a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, it can be a sign of very low self-esteem/ being a AW, and this has the potential to cause problems in a relationship context.

It does cause problems in relationships, as every additional cøck carves out a little piece of her heart and poisons the bonding ability of love, but sluts are no less picky, no less discriminatory, than the average "normal" girl. Sluts, ironically, have higher standards. Sluts are only sluts towards alpha males, but once they have found an alpha male then they open up easier.

Engaging in casual sex is, for both sexes, a way of enjoying sexuality as a normal part of a healthy lifestyle, and we should not shame people for it.

"Only alphas have the market value to mercilessly judge the women they choose to bring into their lives. Men subconsciously judge women’s sluttiness for eminently practical reasons, just as women judge men on a host of alpha benchmarks for similarly practical reasons. No moral equation required. “Slut” is, in fact, a morally neutral term in the context of the sexual market, where a slutty girl is viewed, justifiably and desirably, as an easy lay who will go all the way right away, and undesirably as a girlfriend or wife prospect in whom to invest precious resources."—Roissy

I do agree about feigning non-judgementalism—even if only as a ruse—to disarm the anti-slut defense.

 

[Scars]

Think what you want but don't ever verbalize it, at least if you want to fvck her. You got to make these girls think that theirs nothing wrong with their sexuality and all that equality garbage, you want to actually ENCOURAGE it, but choose your words carefully. Don't ever shame a girl for being a slvt if you have any intention of sleeping with her.

-Scars

 

[AlexDP]

Slut = drama queen. I don't do drama.


Of course there are good, healthy girls who just like sex a lot, but I've noticed that they all get in committed relationships to have sex. A woman's mind may be dictated by emotion, but a girl who's half smart realises she can have sex whenever she wants anyway. And I think it is exactly this that makes the desire go away, unless she's in a relationship.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Lots of good points being raised here, thanks people.

You got to make these girls think that theirs nothing wrong with their sexuality and all that equality garbage, you want to actually ENCOURAGE it, but choose your words carefully.
-Scars

This is an interesting one. We agree that having a girl feel that she's not a slut for sleeping with you is essential in order not to activate her ASD. How do you convey this non-judgementalism to her in words/ actions?

Further issue for discussion: lots of people have said (rightly) that you can't trust what comes out of a girl's mouth when it comes to determining how many sexual partners she's had. How then do you tell how promiscuous she is? Does it matter?

 

[GhostWriter]

I would just assume every girl I meet is a slut, because it is true.

 

[double x]

1. A promiscuous woman has a higher chance of cheating/leaving, so I'm not going to invest much, if at all into her.

2. A promiscuous woman who has given it up to multiple people is a turn off, because if I am putting in any effort to be with her, it feels wasted if other guys have banged her without effort. So it is also a pride issue.

Being easy or promiscuous is a turn off to me for the reasons above. I'm not going to settle for it if I detect a girl who is. I'm about as atheist as you can get, but if I ever settle down it will be someone from a foreign country who actually values marriage and loyalty.

---------

It doesn't mean not to love sex, because I am 19 right now, and if I found a girl that has been in 3 relationships, no ONS, and has had tons of sex in each relationship, I'd give it a shot. She sounds mature and values herself appropriately. If there was a girl who had 20 ONS, but overall less sexual encounters with the first girl, I'd would still steer clear of her and probably wouldn't even try. It just screams low-self esteem, flight risk, etc. and biologically that is a major turn off.

So being promiscuous is actually more about personality than the physical aspects of being a slut. I'm not thinking about the other men who were inside of her, I'm think of how easy she is to persuade and how unreliable that is.

 

[Strelok]

I think the same day someone said to be non-judmental was the first day the girls felt free to be openly slutty.

Guys as I said in the other thread you can bvllsh1t yourself how much as you want saying that it doesnt matter as long as she is loyal to you now and knows how to make you happy, its obvious to any idiot that you have no choice but that in your environment.

In my case I love new cars, not becuase im afraid to be unable to drive a used car the same way his old owner would but because in this world I already have to deal with lot of sh1t that hurt my health and my pride so Im not going to tolerate it when not necessary especially in my intimate life.

As many guys up here said a slutty girl is more likely to cheat and create drama, both things I can do without.
The more time pass the more I realise how I've been clever to find a girl who is much younger than me and is growing personally and emotionally with me.

That doesnt change the fact that it pays more to play the non-judmental guy when you wann get sex from a girl, you can leave her later once you get back
in sex what you paid in time and effort.

 

[loveshogun]

I'm not going to voice my opinion on this because most of you already know it.

I will, however, draw your attention to something to think about: these kinds of mental exercises take time and effort. So, whatever the outcome of the exercise, whether you end up judging women or not, at least make sure that your answer helps you in some concrete way.

On that note... round 1... fight!

 

[OnTheWayUp]

If there was a girl who had 20 ONS, but overall less sexual encounters with the first girl, I'd would still steer clear of her and probably wouldn't even try. It just screams low-self esteem, flight risk, etc. and biologically that is a major turn off.

Interesting viewpoint, how do you tell one of these two hypothetical girls from the other, bearing in mind you can't trust what girls say?

 

[bigneil]

The girl I dated two girlfriends ago actually said "my girlfriend is an even bigger slut than I am". I said "did you just call yourself a slut??". She said she had been with about 50 guys (at age 36).

Being a fool, I stayed with her. The sex was horrible as she had zero emotional attachment. It was robotic to her.

I later learned she went on a date with the guy who sat next to her on the plane ride back to her house from mine. He was 14 years younger than her. She then slept with a girl 3 days later and showed me pictures. She then came back to me and wanted to do drugs and then became as cold as ice for no reason. Then I found out she was having an interracial relationship on the side.

That's what you get when you date a slut.

 

[Jaylan]

^lol why did you feel the need to even mention it was interracial? Dude you go out of your way to mention this is several posts dude. Were you that hurt by it? Does it matter that homeboy wasnt her race? She was a skank and traded you up for a newer moderl. Just be smarter next time. Anyways, moving on.

Op, for me it REALLY depends. If a girl likes to hook up and have fun while she is single and still respects her relationships when shes exclusive with someone, then I cant hate on her too much. But her fun while single has to be within reason...nothing tooo over the top. I dont think a dude can expect more from a girl than he can from himself. If he does, then hes setting himself up for disappointment.

Personally, I could slut it up like the best of them when I am single...though I dont OD with the behavior because who wants to get someone pregnant or catch an STD? Thats the big reason that though opportunities have been there in the past, I rather just keep low key with my actions. I am pretty paranoid of fvcking up my sexual/dating life up for when( or if) I do meet the right chick.

To sum it up, Myself or a prospective gf, we could get around while single, but if we dont lie and cheat and are loyal in a relationship, why take much issue with with our single life past. Unless its super horribly slutty it shouldnt matter much, because at the end of the day I think both guys and girls want someone who they know has high market value, but is not highly attainable to most people.

 

[bigneil]

Most women want to sleep with a man from their own race, so yes, it's unusual for women to mix races. I'd like to hear from the men who think it's ok for their woman to not only cheat, but to cheat with guys from different races. I'm not cool with that. I'd like to know in advance what color the child will be, thank you.

Likewise it's abnormal for women to sleep with women, and for women to sleep with guys young enough to be their children. You can't force a woman to do any of those things. She has to actually want those things. In other words, when a woman calls herself a slut, believe her.

 

[Jaylan]

Most women want to sleep with a man from their own race, so yes, it's unusual for women to mix races. I'd like to hear from the men who think it's ok for their woman to not only cheat, but to cheat with guys from different races. I'm not cool with that. I'd like to know in advance what color the child will be, thank you.

Because you are a mind reader and know what women all want? Interracial relationships' probability of occurence depends on culture and region. If a girl cheats, she cheats. Shes a whor3 no matter what race she or the dude she banged is. You seem to have an inferiority complex regarding this as evidenced by your past posts.

Likewise it's abnormal for women to sleep with women, and for women to sleep with guys young enough to be their children. You can't force a woman to do any of those things. She has to actually want those things. In other words, when a woman calls herself a slut, believe her.

Abnormal? Maybe in your mind, but evolutionary psycologists will tell you humans have been doing this for ages bro. If the folks involved are all consenting adults, it doesnt matter what their race, age, or sex is. I may not sometimes understand why people sleep with who they do, but I wouldnt call it abnormal.

In bold. why so srs?

 

[bigneil]

Sorry Jaylan, it's a fact: women prefer men from their own race.

 

[double x]

Interesting viewpoint, how do you tell one of these two hypothetical girls from the other, bearing in mind you can't trust what girls say?

In my small window of experience, if you keep hearing about different exes, or many guys that have obviously done her are floating around, then you know she is a slut. If she constantly defends a girl for sleeping with different guys, then you know she is a slut. If she is obsessed with any kind of drugs, alcohol/weed/cigs/coke she will naturally gravitate towards bad party situations and you do not want to be with someone like that. Facebook pictures, other friends, and how she dresses gives you huge hints. My ex seemed perfectly innocent and normal but she started to drink a lot and that's when I knew sh*t was going down.

Drinking is fine, but when a partner significantly changes their drinking habits it affects their social life too, which spelled doom for our relationship.

Most decent girls who have had a bunch of long term relationships will tell you up front what they are looking for. If you hear 'I got out of a long relationship with mr. blahblah a few months ago' then it's cool. If you hear 'I've been so sick of empty hookups and I just want to find a reliable guy' RUN FOR THE F*CKING HILLS.

I'm in no way sexist, but if I'm looking for a long term partner I want someone who has a track record of staying with someone for awhile. My shortest relationship was 5 months. Women who 'want to settle down' never actually settle down. I've seen in this my family, with an aunt and a cousin who both have cheated on their husbands and later divorced to party even more, only to again be desperately searching for their 'knight in shining armor' (provider).

Then again, I'm not like most people on this site. I don't really look for random hookups, I actually like to date and incorporate other people in my hobbies because I enjoy bonding with others who share the same interests as I. As horny as I get, I don't find women really attractive unless I know them well.

 

[Jaylan]

Sorry Jaylan, it's a fact: women prefer men from their own race.

Lmao did you even read the report. Ive read this report about 3 times in the past

It sums up that socio economics breaks down these barriers quite a bit. Which plays into play I said about IR dating being different among regions. Its wayyyy more prevalent in metropolitans than the suburbs

And also the report found that Asian women tend to not discriminate on race. Or at the worst, very very low discrimination in comparison to women of other groups. That plays into what I said about culture.

Plus you also have to take into account the social and economic strata each respondent belongs to. I feel like you didnt even read that report.

I will say this, as a 24 year old black male with a nice physique, two college degrees, and plays in a rock band....since I live in New York City, I have women of all races feeling me.

this make you mad brah? dont hate dude. Let people love who they love, despite gender, race, age, or whatever else.

EDIT: Many times the reason some people will not date out of their race is due to negative stereotypes that exist for other races. Once those stereotypes get smashed, I see people with all sorts of different kinds of folks in NYC. Sometimes people dont get together because of cultural differences. But do you expect me to get upset when a suburban black girl dates a preppy white guy when thats what she grew up around? Hell no...let her be happy.

Hell Ive dated Korean, Bengali, Romanian, Puerto Rican, Italian, etc in my life.

Also, once a guy shows a chick that hes just an average American(or whatever country you are living in) guy who works, or has ambition, race starts to matter less and less, if at all. It really depends on the chick. But its weird that dudes get more upset about IR dating than anyone women ever do. Just do you bro.