Is it right to continue, when you have little interest?

[topdog3853]

I've gone out on a couple dates with a couple different women lately, and although they are cool to hang out with, and I'm attracted to their personality, I'm not so much attracted physically to them. I'll give anyone a chance on a date, just because its cool to meet new people and network, etc. Maybe I am shallow but hey I want the great looking one with the personality too, I never settle.
Anyway, it is ok to continue to date these girls and hook up with them all the while still searching for something better. Not that any talk of something more serious with these girls has come up, but I'm pretty sure from there talk and personality they will want something more.
I know I will never want anything long-term with these girls but I'm a male and I like to get laid. I just afraid that these girls will be very hurt later on. You guys can tell me that I just have to make sure I tell them where I stand and that I dont' want a relationship, etc. but I don't think that will work with these girls. Just curious what you guys think.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

hey top !
we all have a plan and vision of what we want out of a woman, so just stick to that plan. i know we all must be laid and most the time we dont care where it comes from, so if you end up banging one of em then, so be it. in my case, i now worry about myself and what i'm looking for and if i end up hurting some woman's feelings in the process then so be it.
you know as well as i do that once you bang a woman the whole scenerio changes and thats just the way it is.
so, in my opinion if you are after the type of woman you really want, then how else do we find them? we must try all types and sometimes we hurt their feelings in the process of searching.
to answer your question, just be yourself, tell them upfront you are not serious and see where it takes you.

 

[topdog3853]

True Frat,
Of course usually I don't like to say anything up front. I usually let my actions show that I'm not thinking anything too serious. Things like 1 phone call convo a week and maybe hang out with once every two weeks. Of course playing this way only makes them more interested [thanks to this site]. In the past when I've done things this way, my intentions usually come out right in the "heat of the moment". When they eventually want to fvck, that's when I'll usually ask if they really want to do this because I'm not looking for a relationship, blah, blah. Of course they still want to go ahead with it, and even if I have stated my intentions, women always think they can change that. WRONG. Oh well, I just going to play it very chill and continue to do what I'm doing. Thanks Frat

 

[FratAndDiddy]

good point top !
i agree that actions speak louder than words and a bit of mystery behind you makes them interested in you. i operate a bit like you and if they cant figure me out thru my actions, then a final last warning before the pants drop is all they are going to get.

in my opinion, most of us guys on this site really dont like to go around hurting women's feelings and we have had our feelings stepped on too, thats why we are here and keeping our skills honed. but...... if you think back on your life and all those crazy mistakes we have made because we weren't focused on ourselves and worried about hurting a woman's feelings, we would've been on the good tracks allot quicker.

 

[NewMan]

I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to date chicks that you know are not LTR material.

I'm dating one right now.

The problem I always find though - is these girls always want more - more of your time - and they want to hang with you. Once you start getting that a##, it's even worse.

i usually have to temper their feelings by telling them that I'm not ready for a relationship - I'm not looking for something long term etc. Eventually they end up moving on - but thats all good to me because I to am looking for that super chickie.

I think the only thing to say is, not to get sucked in to a relationship - or hanging out with these girl's more than once - twice per week.

Keep looking.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by topdog3853

Of course usually I don't like to say anything up front. I usually let my actions show that I'm not thinking anything too serious....

...In the past when I've done things this way, my intentions usually come out right in the "heat of the moment". When they eventually want to fvck, that's when I'll usually ask if they really want to do this because I'm not looking for a relationship, blah, blah. Of course they still want to go ahead with it

Okay TopDog....Let's put the shoe on the other foot. You are in bed, naked and ready to go. Just before you dive in, she looks up and says: "I only have sex with guys who I'm in a committed relationship with. Are you committed or do we stop now?"

You'd be FURIOUS at this chick and rightly so. She never laid down the ground rules before she offered you the prize.

Women are stupid. You can't expect them to "pick up on your actions", you have to TELL HER that you are not dating exclusivly. TELL HER you aren't looking for anything long term. Chances are she'll still sleep with you (per that "change his mind" thing). But you've planted the "exit sign" in her mind. She KNOWS you aren't staying and can't come crying foul when you walk away in a month or so.

Take the high road TopDog. The air is cleaner and the view is so much better.

 

[gentleman193]

The high road leads to the monastery

But the low-road often ends up at the church.

Women will sense your guilt. The desparate ones (read: ugly or over 30) will exploit it to trap you into the LTR. That is how the f-buddy becomes the f-fiance. If you can't handle the tears and accussations later then unload them now. Too many men spend their lives shackled by guilt.

And if it seems ruthless to look out for yourself first keep in mind who it is that shoots themselves over a broken heart. That would be us, gentlemen. Women are far more practical. If they don't close the deal with one guy, they find another one. You may be special, but there are babies to think of. Meantime, it seems they are enjoying your ride.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't give hors any warning that you are not looking for a relationship before they open their legs!!! If she open her legs on her own will it is because she wants to feel it, and not because it is a ritual of committment.

You are not to blame for her wh@redoms - why would you feel guilt??? Respect her for the hor that she is!

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
You are in bed, naked and ready to go. Just before you dive in, she looks up and says: "I only have sex with guys who I'm in a committed relationship with. Are you committed or do we stop now?"

You'd be FURIOUS at this chick and rightly so. She never laid down the ground rules before she offered you the prize.

God damn! I hate when that happens

 

[MrCode]

As long as these women realize that you aren't committed or exclusive with them, it is all good. They are adults and if they choose to have sex it is not your responsibility to look out for their feelings. Inevitably they may want more and at that point you can tell them you don't want to get serious and if they don't like that you can stop seeing each other.

But I definitely agree with WaterTiger that laying this on them in the heat of the moment before sex is pretty lame. Don't feel guilty, if they want sex and don't ASK YOU if you are going to commit before hand, you are cool.

But be sure to wear some protection.