Here's an overview of our history and relationship dynamics.
We've known each other a long time but due to timing issues of various things we officially became involved and exclusive only three months ago. The pros are that she's goal oriented, cooks well, eats healthy, works out, educated, not argumentative, can compromise. The major con is that I do not like her 8 yr old son. He's lazy and messy, whines incessantly and ruins her mood and embarrasses her often by throwing himself on the floor like a girl, even in public.
The issue of living together has come up recently. One reason is the commuting is draining. I live south of my job. Her job is north of mine and she also lives north of her job. Another reason is that her lease is up in 6 months. She said she's been looking into places close to me.
Here's where it gets weird for me. I mentioned recently that my last mortgage payment is in four months. And she wants to finish her bachelor's degree from two years back. The campus is 10 miles south of my house.
The benefits to both of us for living together are obvious, aside from her whiney son. But this is the alarming issue for me. She said it would be great that we could save more money since there'd be no rent or mortgage payments. And she's mentioned a few times how hard it was to work and go to school and raise her son (this was mentioned before the conversation of living together).
I'm sure you all see where I'm going with this.
In addition to making her pay half the utilities, I'm toying with this idea of charging her between 1/4 and 1/2 of my mortgage payment, even though I'll no longer be paying it. I talked to my sister about this and she thinks it's selfish because my house is almost paid off so I'd just be trying to make money off her. I disagree. Think of it this way. If I prepay in full a 12 month lease for an apartment and my friend wants to live there halfway through the lease, then why wouldn't I charge him a quarter of the lease? He's reimbursing me for the rent he would be paying if I had chosen not to pay in advance. Same concept applies to my girlfriend. The dynamics are different however since she's sleeping with me and we're in a relationship where we're supposed to care for each other.
So I was thinking of telling her that I'll put her payments in a CD and if we're ever in a situation where we buy property together then I'll use the money for that purpose.
I just don't like the idea of her and her son moving into my house for a free ride to finish school and give me sex in return. I hate to reduce this to a prostitute comparison. I'm sure I'm more to her than that. I just don't want to be taken advantage of. I want to see her be responsible and maintain what attracted me to her in the first place. If she was my wife then it would be different, but she's not.
We've known each other a long time but due to timing issues of various things we officially became involved and exclusive only three months ago. The pros are that she's goal oriented, cooks well, eats healthy, works out, educated, not argumentative, can compromise. The major con is that I do not like her 8 yr old son. He's lazy and messy, whines incessantly and ruins her mood and embarrasses her often by throwing himself on the floor like a girl, even in public.
The issue of living together has come up recently. One reason is the commuting is draining. I live south of my job. Her job is north of mine and she also lives north of her job. Another reason is that her lease is up in 6 months. She said she's been looking into places close to me.
Here's where it gets weird for me. I mentioned recently that my last mortgage payment is in four months. And she wants to finish her bachelor's degree from two years back. The campus is 10 miles south of my house.
The benefits to both of us for living together are obvious, aside from her whiney son. But this is the alarming issue for me. She said it would be great that we could save more money since there'd be no rent or mortgage payments. And she's mentioned a few times how hard it was to work and go to school and raise her son (this was mentioned before the conversation of living together).
I'm sure you all see where I'm going with this.
In addition to making her pay half the utilities, I'm toying with this idea of charging her between 1/4 and 1/2 of my mortgage payment, even though I'll no longer be paying it. I talked to my sister about this and she thinks it's selfish because my house is almost paid off so I'd just be trying to make money off her. I disagree. Think of it this way. If I prepay in full a 12 month lease for an apartment and my friend wants to live there halfway through the lease, then why wouldn't I charge him a quarter of the lease? He's reimbursing me for the rent he would be paying if I had chosen not to pay in advance. Same concept applies to my girlfriend. The dynamics are different however since she's sleeping with me and we're in a relationship where we're supposed to care for each other.
So I was thinking of telling her that I'll put her payments in a CD and if we're ever in a situation where we buy property together then I'll use the money for that purpose.
I just don't like the idea of her and her son moving into my house for a free ride to finish school and give me sex in return. I hate to reduce this to a prostitute comparison. I'm sure I'm more to her than that. I just don't want to be taken advantage of. I want to see her be responsible and maintain what attracted me to her in the first place. If she was my wife then it would be different, but she's not.
