Is it really worth it?

[FortunateSon]

Is pursuing women really worth it? Are the rewards worth all that effort? Is marriage all its cracked up to be? Is there any point in marriage when 50% of modern marriages end up in divorce? Is there any point of having children? Why is society so obsessed with the nuclear family ideal?

I see guys who are obsessed with women and it's like their entire existence is all about banging women, as many as possible and then you get the guys who want a full blown relationship and everything that comes with it.

If a guy avoids all the above is he really missing out on something special? When you sit down and think about all the above does it seem like a big waste of time to you?

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts.

 

[JohnChops]

Is pursuing women really worth it? Are the rewards worth all that effort? Is marriage all its cracked up to be? Is there any point in marriage when 50% of modern marriages end up in divorce? Is there any point of having children? Why is society so obsessed with the nuclear family ideal?

I see guys who are obsessed with women and it's like their entire existence is all about banging women, as many as possible and then you get the guys who want a full blown relationship and everything that comes with it.

If a guy avoids all the above is he really missing out on something special? When you sit down and think about all the above does it seem like a big waste of time to you?

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts.

I would love to give my input here. There was once a time, 2 years ago, where I would have 5-6 girls spinning and id always be hanging out with a difference one each weekend. I was pretty happy, i had a great time but still didnt feel fulfilled. Its like a hole of emptiness grew bigger inside of me. So i started to develop some hobbies and started to feel happy again.

Last year, i stopped talking to all my plates and took a break from women until may of this year. So thats pretty much 10-11 months with no women. Was i unhappy? Fvck no. I was free to do whatever i wanted to on the weekends, hang out with friends, hit the gym for endless hours if i wanted, do all my hobbies, work on my car/scooter etc. I didnt feel bogged down to keep plates interested and felt a little bit better. Now that is all fine and dandy, i did miss hanging out with girls on the weekend however not that much. It crossed my mind then 2 minutes later the thought left my head.

So i picked up a girl from my college in may and the one bad thing about not having plates spinning is you can lose your touch/game temporarily until you gain it from more expirenece. This is one down fall right there, i ruined it with this girl. Over did C & F , didnt escalate etc. Was I mad? Not really, i always knew i would drop her anyway. Plus holy sh1t i forgot how annoying it was to hangout with a girl.... maybe it was just her but she fvcking pissed me off and was VERY annoying. So im glad i ruined that one.

So I cant speak for marriage because im only 20 but for relationships i can say ive seen more of my friends spend all their hard earned money and are never availible because they are with their girlsfriends. I also see how they think their girlfriend is their world, thats a no no. I would hate for that to happen to me , granted it wouldnt iwth all the stuff i learned here but just saying.

Is it worth it? Erm, im all for no strings attached so i dont have to deal with annoying women, only to have sex. But relationships and marriage dont seem like it for me. Sorry for the spelling mistakes my keyboard is odd today.

 

[foreverAFC]

marriage is a scam meant to enslave men, its a fairy tale created by hollywood, do you really wanna spend every moment of your spare time with some woman who will eventually let herself go and just nag you while she sits on the couch in her sweats eating pizza and watching TV every night, why not just stay single and have cool relationships and be all about yourself, that idea that you need that ideal married family life is something thats been pushed on people through TV and movies, its unnecessary and unhealthy and thats why most people in marriages are unhappy or bored or need to cheat

spend your time making money, working out, pursuing hobbies, going on vacations etc.....why ruin it with kids, fat nagging wives, diapers, in laws, dropping kids off to school every morning etc.....WTF.....yeah no way

 

[Dan08]

Is pursuing women really worth it? Are the rewards worth all that effort? Is marriage all its cracked up to be? Is there any point in marriage when 50% of modern marriages end up in divorce? Is there any point of having children? Why is society so obsessed with the nuclear family ideal?

I see guys who are obsessed with women and it's like their entire existence is all about banging women, as many as possible and then you get the guys who want a full blown relationship and everything that comes with it.

If a guy avoids all the above is he really missing out on something special? When you sit down and think about all the above does it seem like a big waste of time to you?

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts.

Short term yes. Longterm no.

To elaborate a little on what John said, in the shorterm you're getting all these girls and you're banging them and all is good but soon you want something more in your life and like John you'll go off and look for hobbies, for fulfilment and likely you'll achieve what you want to reach a new place of happiness and this will be the longterm result of where you no longer need the p_ssy

But it is very important that we all start at the point that you mention OP so that we can realise in time that there is so much more to our lives and actively go out and look for it otherwise who's to say how long we'd spend our lives putting girls on a pedestal and have ourselves suffer as a result of it?

 

[plate's_empty]

Spinning plates and balancing everything else in your life is hard work. Sometimes I just want to be with one person. Some guys are built that way, some aren't.

The problem is when that one person starts becoming the problem.

But if I can find the perfect woman . Then I'd be cool.

 

[zekko]

There seems to be a new generation of guys coming up here, who want to just live their lives without women entirely. Not only not getting married, but not even dealing with them trying to get sex.

I hear a lot of talk about how girls are no fun to be with, you can't play sports with them, they don't have any interests, and all they know how to talk about is shoes. Meh. I enjoy interacting with women, there's something about the yin and yang of it.

I do agree with JohnChops about this, though: I remember my days of spinning plates, and I found it to be ultimately unfulfilling. I am enjoying my current relationship, however. If you find a good girl, it's very rewarding. I know women are fickle though, so while I enjoy my time with her, I won't trust her with my life or finances. I don't expect any relationship to last these days, so I look at every day as just a bonus. If something happens to her, I will just get another one. My happiness isn't wrapped up into just her.

 

[Big Nuts]

Marriage for men is soul death.

I know...never again.....hit and quit...if you like a chick...maintain separate homes...if she has a problem with that...hit her in the ass, then dump her.

True...I was spinning 5-6 plates about 6 months ago....got real tired...now focus on one with finger on the eject button.

 

[fuzzball]

you anti marriage folks are nuts. yes marriage has in america especially fallen into a state of complete chaos and does far more often than is reported screw over guys. i am not denying the cold hard reality of marriage and what its devolved into.

the thing of it is though is every species has a way to create kids. humans do it by seeking out a life partner. the problem today is how marriage is approached.

in older days you got married to not only pass on your genes but because marriage was a means of survival. it was noticably harder to survive going solo. and kids were free labor around the house. this changed the dynamics of a LTR drastically it was no longer about love but rather practical survival. it is very easy to fall in and out of love but far harder to find someone who you can practically live with just to survive. men and women both had very defined roles that were different yet equally important. the two sexes very much complimented each other so marriages worked out a bit more. also divorces carried a lot more stigma to them and you had to actually prove a reason for divorce you couldnt just say "divorce me".

no there had to be an actual reason for it. part of the reason its turned into the no fault divorce laws is supposedly too many women were abused and could not get out because they could not prove it. while i do not deny that happening the no fault divorce laws were a terrible solution.

back then people also kept their word far more often. the marriage vows therefore by extension had meaning. in essence people honored them because they gave their word unlike today where people take the marriage vows and divorce despite nobody actually broke any of the marriage vows they just got bored or something.

that said i think a LTR and marriage should be the ultimate goal. the other problem today is that people get stuck in LTR and completely miss the warning signs. normally your LTR partner doesnt turn psycho over night. it usually appears with enough warning to do something about it. within the first 6 months you can probably figure out if your LTR partner is worth it or not and whether said person is psycho or not. i think if people actually paid attention to these things rather than becoming slaves to sex or slaves to the "i must be a relationship because being single is killing me" mentality you'd see a lot more LTR end before they got going.

i say go for marriage and kids and all that just pay attention to the girl you want to take along for that ride. if shes psycho leave her no matter how good at sex she might be. and thats the problem with todays marriages far too many people either wont keep their word(marriage vows) or completely ignore their partner being completely insane or not LTR material. also pay attention to your own mental state. dont get married at 17 but waiting till you are 30 probably isnt healthy either.

porn also deserves an honorable mention too. thats doing wonders to completely wreck havoc on the male brain(really makes you see girls as mindless objects). porn also is a huge contributor to divorces as well and not just because its porn but because it also leads to the seeing wh0res on the side and webcam chatting and other cheating stuff. it also leads to guys seeing porn stars as far better and more attractive than their wives because lets face it the wife ages the porn star is forever young not to mention creating unrealistic expectations of sex and messing with your testosterone levels. not to mention its addictive and any addictive behavior tends to be destructive. and the more hardcore porn can lead to ED which obviously makes sexing the wife a lot harder as once you get used to a certain level of porn its a lot more difficult to get off to anything less than that. really stay away from porn it really isnt conducive to a LTR or life in general.

the ultimate point is marriage is failing in society for many reasons and both sexes deserve quite a bit of blame. and i didnt even touch on what this website is about.....the whole betas and AFC males running around like mindless idiots. yet marriage is the core to any society. it creates families(the basis of all communities). it creates mothers(the backbone to the society that men create). it creates fathers(the builders of society). and it creates the next generation. society destroys this circle of life at its own peril.

 

[Burroughs]

for 99.9% of human history women were the property of men....like a dog and she had no choice but to show loyalty

she had to do everything she was told or she was put out in the cold with the wolves

today feminism has taken root and is eroding the foundation of culture and civilization

In Japan the herbivore movement has sprung up in reaction to this...this movement will become the norm in the western world over the next 10-20 years http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/foreigners/2009/06/the_herbivores_dilemma.html

 

[LearningSlowly]

Here's a short answer. No, girls aren't worth it. Yes, being able to seduce girls is worth the learning curve.

I'm enough to be happy on my own, but when I meet a girl I really like, I want to know how to attract her. Only way to learn is practice.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Married to a Chinese. Have a family visa here (do not have to leave). Have a much easier time working and living here. Better access to jobs and money, easier lifestyle and a loyal wife who wants children.... in-fact its her priority.

You have a sh1tty attitude, the world is NOT america. Please do not insult us like that.

You take your vows and you are supposed to honour them. Is marriage a bum rap for men, yes if done wrong to the wrong person.

Whats in marriage for you? Well if you marry an american woman, you'll get a second income and no guarntee of anything further.

You marry a Chinese woman, you'll get a cold calculating woman who will look for ways to save you money and make you rich. She will put her children before herself and make sure you are catered to. She will selflessly serve her parents and look to them for guidance whenever possible, she will do this for you in time. She will shadow your every move and live her life as you live yours, your values are hers. You get citizenship and a visa to stay here as long as you like. The society is still pro family and she will be shamed for stepping to far out of those boundaries. The commies have gone to great length to program the women with Christian values even if there is no religion present.

If you marry a woman from Kazak or the middle East, she is schooled in taking care of a husband, she will live and die for you. She will never let another man look upon her for any length of time and she will live a domesticated life inside the house. She will follow your every move. You will gain access to her family and their resources. She will follow you and never question your decisions, your judgement is law and a woman who brings dishonor to a family may suffer on pain of death. This is her gift to you.

If you marry a Mexican you will be granted Mexican citizenship, her family will look out for you to the point that they will come running if SHTF. They have a solid Christian culture and children and family are still heavily promoted. The women are not quite as domesticated as the former two but are still very family oriented. They can cook reasonably well and are taught to clean from a very early age.

Is marriage a bum deal? Not if you make the right decisions. In fact you could become very rich, very quickly if you marry the right one. It all depends on you.

Marriage to a 1st world woman? Well would you marry someone who ate dog vomit willingly for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Would you want to marry her if she force fed it to you and promoted it amongst all her friends? If she stood up for gays and pro gay rights, wanted to have a solid career and felt she had been slighted by society even though she is the equivalent of a 3rd world princess? She had a propensity to divorce or cheat and was brought up by a society that encourages living life on impulsive decisions. A society which has told her she is ENTITLED to happiness by ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Whats in it for you? You get to provide her that lifestyle without any support systems to back you up. Likely, her family will either be broke or just above the poverty line at all times, she may bring a substantial debt into the relationship. Her money skills will likely be sh1t and she will continue to spend your money as if it were her own. Her father will likely have bowed to her mother and will expect the same of you, she will never think you are 'good enough' and when you are, she will leave you to seek out a man that goes against everything her father worked hard to be. She will be domineering and have a career, she will expect you to have at least that if not more and will test you when you fail to meet her expectations. She will make problems where there are none and create stress for you to amuse herself. You will live in constant fear of her cheating on you or ripping you apart in divorce court. The society will heavily promote her to break up with you and live out life as a single, independent and strong person. She will think that big is beautiful, ugly on the outside means pretty on the inside and all manner of insanity. She will know nothing of WAR, FEAR or true POVERTY and all of her problems in the 1st world will stem from luxuries afforded to the richest families in the 3rd. She will do her best to pass this on to her children. This is what you get if you marry a 1st world woman.

 

[In2theGame]

I agree with some of the guys here when they say ultimately, it will leave you feeling hollow. Ive been going out for a while now and its nice to have a different girl every weekend. one weekend i have my arm around a cute 21 yr old tight brunette, the next i have the hot thick blonde with the round azz and t!ts popping out...etc.. do i feel fulfilled?... not really (and im banging these girls BTW) once i shoot my load... its like.... Eh. Dont get me wrong.. its fun but i do miss actually having a connection with a female but then again, once your involved with one, theres the female BS that you have to deal with.

Right now i just take it easy and hang out with friends, Family and focus on my business and my net worth, Hobbies etc. What bothers me though is when i see guys in LTR or married and its like.. their GF's or wives controls them, After the BS i have been through i will be sure to put a girl in her place if she tries to control me and that is why i'm staying single, atleast for now.

 

[FortunateSon]

There's a lot of interesting posts here.

A poster mentioned that there is an increasing minority of men who just do not have anything to do with women and I wonder what has caused this? Is it a combination of things such as looking inwards and outwards at events in their life and around them?

With society and media so geared towards sexual intercourse you'd think that all men would be pursuing women for whatever purpose they have in mind.

The lack of fulfilment from getting laid or being highly successful with women is quite surprising --- I have to confess to not seeing that coming since the basis of a man's own self-worth these days appears to be seen in the amount of women he has banged.

So is a man who makes a six-figure salary but who cannot get laid to save his life likely to be more fulfilled than someone who bangs a different woman every weekend, but ultimately who earns peanuts in a dead-end job? Or does there need to be a balance between the two?

As for marriage, there's some interesting comments here. My own belief is that marriage will always exist even if it's getting less and less popular (according to statistics). However is Marriage a little overstated? I mean, is it not possible for a man and woman to be in a long-term relationship with children without needing marriage?

 

[JohnChops]

There seems to be a new generation of guys coming up here, who want to just live their lives without women entirely. Not only not getting married, but not even dealing with them trying to get sex.

I hear a lot of talk about how girls are no fun to be with, you can't play sports with them, they don't have any interests, and all they know how to talk about is shoes. Meh. I enjoy interacting with women, there's something about the yin and yang of it.

I do agree with JohnChops about this, though: I remember my days of spinning plates, and I found it to be ultimately unfulfilling. I am enjoying my current relationship, however. If you find a good girl, it's very rewarding. I know women are fickle though, so while I enjoy my time with her, I won't trust her with my life or finances. I don't expect any relationship to last these days, so I look at every day as just a bonus. If something happens to her, I will just get another one. My happiness isn't wrapped up into just her.

Zek, i by no means want to live a life without women. Im just saying they should never be your whole world and just because you don't have any doesn't mean you should be some depressed man walking around wanting everyone to feel sorry for you.

Women are just a source of fun, nothing more really. I enjoy finding an intellectual women and just having a stimulating conversation, yeah talking fellas, and then being able to have fun with her later on. However, these loud obnoxious ones have to go!

 

[pdx1138]

Good thread.

Whenever I've been in a long term relationship, I feel as if I don't get anything done in my personal life.

Something I plan on not having on my next LTR.