Re:
Keep in mind, guys, we're only getting 1 piece of a 2 part story. Just b/c you post at sosuave, doesn't make you innocent before being guilty, nor are you immune from being a d!ck.
What I read was alot of double speak. You claim to desire and see yourself as a certain type of person, but you never acted as you saw yourself. Comments were said how you didn't want to be a jerk, or how you wanted to communicate, or yada, yada, yada, yet time and time again you ended up at the same place.
Moreso, you never resolved the fights. You let them linger. Even if she chose to, it did not mean you had to. 90% of all people who let fights linger past the day they occur BREAKUP or have UNHEALTHY relationships.
If you claim love its false love. Love, and the emotions you've proclaimed to have, though are false, does not judge, does not impose restrictions or demands, and does not get angered as you displayed over '' not getting sex b/c of B/C and antibiotics."
Just b/c you poured your heart into a gift does not make it the end of the world. I'd rather someone be honest, than find out months later it was all fake. Learn to toughen up on those issues. Married couples tell each other point blank they don't like something christmas morning, even if it took than 11 shopping months to find it. Because it isn't the gift that counts, it's the thought. HOWEVER, no gift will have value if she has unexpressed issues. Good job on trying, though.
Sometimes u deal with shyt, and SOMETIMES u live with it for the time being because that person means that much to you.
I wouldn't peg you as an AFC, b/c that's precisely what she wants. She'd get along with an AFC. HOWEVER, it's surprising on your part 'why' you stayed'. The only piece of you that cared for her was the illusion. Perhaps after the fact you liked her, or when she was gone you saw her crying, but never the image of her lashing out. I, too, had a relationship like this.
For no known reason she'd withdraw sex, as if I was with her for 2 years ONLY for sex. We'd fight over petty things and she was naturally jealous because she'd been cheated on before. Any girl who roamed into my apartment, friend or a friend of another roomie, she'd put on me as a fwb. It took realizing she put false guilt on me for unknown reasons. I was to be her source of happiness.
Things...
You both have expectations of what you want in relationships that can't be filled by each other. THe illusion is well and nice, and for a time, when you work hard and ACT out what should be done, you make headway. But then you fall back into a routine of who you are and the fighting commences. The only reason you've stuck around isn't love, or compassion, it's habit and time. No matter how bad it is, it represents time in your young life, so letting it go is hard. Even with the bad times you've gotten used to her being around. The comfort of who she is.
I'm not you, and I don't see what she sees...but there isn't anything to be done here. A smart guy, guy who cares about his happiness, who proclaims to be something more than a jerk and a prick, would move on and tell her kindly you can't fulfill her emotional or relationship needs. And that you're sorry, you'll move on and hope you'll remain friends. Putting it on her will only incite further fighting.
A-Unit
