Is it possible to save this relationship after spending too much time together?

[aww_kittah_aww]

Ive been seeing this girl for about 4-5 months now. We became boyfriend/girlfriend about 2 months ago. We spent pretty much every day together and stayed together on the evenings many nights.

I've noticed her acting differently towards me these last few weeks. Not as affectionate, less sex etc. I realized I ****ed up by spending too much time with her as the relationship began to get stale. I also realized I went wrong in asking her to be exclusive two months ago. I learned that she wanted to continue dating at the time but agreed to a relationship anyways.

Fast forward to this weekend we had a long talk and agreed that we both liked each other and enjoyed spending time together but needed to spend more time independent of each other. We both agreed that neither one of us did anything wrong we just simply spent too much time together. I also brought up about slowing down and removing the boyfriend/GF title since it seemed to bother her.

I guess the main input im looking for is where to go I from here? Ive already made an effort to pull away and give less contact in an effort to gain some independence. Can this survive by back paddling or should i move on.

 

[x86]

Maybe, but you should work on the underlying problem of not having enough hobbies. Pick up sports, reading, gym, anything really. You won't have the ability to spend every day with a woman with hobbies and will have fun to boot.

Back paddling or moving on both requires the same thing. Finding things you enjoy doing without "her".

 

[getready]

Keep doing what your doing, slow down, don't text her first, ect. but at the same time try to get some new plates spinnin, at least on the back burner. If she did agree to removing the exculsive title, then spinnin plates is all the more justified. Don't go about it secretly, but don't make it obvious. This relationship might be saved, but it might also be over. It's only been 4-5 months so it shouldn't be a big deal. Don't stress over it, just keep moving forward.

 

[getready]

And do what the guy above me said

 

[LoneWolf]

i also have a similar question. previous girl who i was with, she was so busy that i pretty much agreed to seeing her every chance i got. so it was not everyday but mostly ONCE a week, two if lucky when she stayed the night. would that put me in this same situation? i didn't ever want to cancel because if i did, then i wouldn't be seeing her for another whole full week. i just felt that if i cancelled on her those once a week times we had the fire would burn out and to me, if i'm seeing a girl, i expect to see them at least once or twice every week. even three times at least.

 

[mahoney]

you have to be really careful about seeing a girl every single day/night - basically its too much, you are likely to burn out a relationship doing this (and it might actually end up being you that gets burned out just as much as she)

but also the other problem is...if it felt good/right at the moment seeing her this much you've sort of put both of you into a trap - how to lessen the frequency without it seeming weird or causing issues.

moving on is a bit of an overreaction! it seems this was (and still can be!) a great thing! but its always a massive risk to see a person too much, and even more so to let it become part of routine that you seem them too much

spend less time with her, but better time. if there are going to be little periods of not really seeing her, then it has to be that when you do see her is really good, so she has a little space in which to miss you and look forward to seeing you (and you her!)

 

[Sparky]

Well it's a plant and you've been overwatering it and have destroyed the roots.
Just like plants, you stop the overwatering and it's a 50/50 chance whetehr they fade away or grow out new roots and flourish. If you care enough, it's worth a try. I give it 50/50. But you'd better find an injection of excitement from somewhere.

 

[AlexDP]

What I'm wondering about is this: if you've been seeing her every day and she is getting sick of you, why are you not getting sick of her?

 

[aww_kittah_aww]

What I'm wondering about is this: if you've been seeing her every day and she is getting sick of you, why are you not getting sick of her?

I think it just took me longer to get to that point. However, last night was the first time I noticed myself just being annoyed by her. I think all the confusion of the relationship caught up to me.

Overall, I like this girl a lot I'm just seeing the importance in independence now.