Is it possible to reearn 'alpha' status with a girl you went beta on?

[icantgetlaid]

There's this girl i'm dating that i liked a lot but was playing it really cool with for the 3 months we've been dating (following all the 'DJ' rules: ... acting indifferent ... spinning plates while dating her ... being aloof ... only asking her out .. not texting/talking to all day .. etc.)

She's had VERY HIGH interest in me during these 3 months ... asking me to take her out ... sending me nude pics/asking me to go to her place to **** ... etc.

Anyway .. the last time she was over I had too much to drink and said a lot of stupid beta sh!t: talking to her about family, asking her about serious relationship, and other needy/disgusting behavior)

It goes without saying but I can tell her interest level has dipped since this went down.

Is there anything I can do to reestablish my "DJ" status with her ... or should I take my loss and keep it moving?

 

[Who Dares Win]

Honestly I cant tell for sure if its possible or not however I believe she will try to confirm the frame which see you as a beta by treating you as such, if you instead avoid all those typical beta behaviours she will take the challenge to push you back there, if despite such attempt you manage to resist you can still gain the benefit of being perceived in a positive way.

So the take home message is, behave as you were behaving before, reject any attempt from her to remind you that you're a beta and if you succeed you cant still gain something from the situation.

Anyway if you manage to bang her, you automatically gain back the upper hand for sure even for the future, after the bang the power balance its all in your favour.

 

[WanderingMan]

^I'd say this.

Go on as if nothing has happened. She may act differently now, but she's still waiting on your cue to see how you act/react. So just keep on as before. She will eventually bring it up to you - what you said - to see where a sober you stands. No need to beat around the bush or lie or try to take back what you said, IMO. Something along the lines of: "yeah, I do want a family some day" Then change the subject. The fact that you do want a serious relationship with someone is not a bad thing. It's natural to do so. If she presses the issue: "I'm not sure I'm ready to settle down, I think I got ahead of myself, I'm sure I'd like to some day though"

It's okay for women to see some emotions/feelings in you. As long as you don't go full bore beta on her, showing that sliver of a different side of you can actually be a benefit.

 

[Shootin4Dreams]

So if she tries to take over the frame by saying bad stuff about your or saying your not indepedent or says she doesn't want you, how would you go about it? Be like whatever or ok? Just ignore and tease her and be sexual?

 

[Infern0]

I think the best way to handle these kind of situations is just back way, way off. Put her at the bottom of the pile and get busy with other plates etc.

It's hard, and usually not really worth it to salvage a situation where you have dropped off due to AFC behaviour. There's nothing less AFC than just moving on without giving a ****

If she cares or her IL is still high enough she won't let you go quietly into the night, so either way you'll either flip the power back or be rid of a situation that's not going to do you any good.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's very hard.

Easier for you to pick up another chick and ignore her. Over time she will come seeing what you are doing.

Then you focus on nailing her and using her for a sex toy.

 

[Octogonal]

No.

If you were a true alpha, you wouldn't have went beta in the first place. Real alphas don't act beta with women.

 

[WanderingMan]

No.

If you were a true alpha, you wouldn't have went beta in the first place. Real alphas don't act beta with women.

Everyone acts "beta" with a woman at some point.

Get over yourself.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Everyone acts "beta" with a woman at some point.

Get over yourself.

Even apes...

 

[nismo-4]

No.

If you were a true alpha, you wouldn't have went beta in the first place. Real alphas don't act beta with women.

Well, a little beta will keep a woman around.

But what happens when men start off as "alpha"? Sure they make their sexuality known, but if the woman doesn't find the guy attractive, she won't see him as alpha. She'll see him as useless, though not beta. Why useless? Because she has been shown that the guy will not be a provider, friend, orbiter, emotional tampon, etc.

Why the f**k would she want to keep him around? He won't give her any attention because she won't give him any sex, love, dates, etc. Hence, he is useless in her eyes.

A beta would make this one-sided in her favor where she has the power. But, both don't get the girl at all.

The interest and attraction have to be present for any "alpha" act to be effective.

Hell, damn near any act will be effective when interest amd attraction are highly present!

 

[RangerMIke]

I have no idea, but my gut says no. Truth is you should just change your approach, work on yourself, then go after other women. Besides, if you are really going to become what is commonly called 'alpha', then you MUST have an abundance mindset, the only way that happens is if you date multiple women.

Don't waste your time with re-treads. There are billions of women in the world, don't get locked in on one.