Is it possible to exit the friendzone?

[BannedGod]

I used to be in that dreaded friend zone with a girl back when I was much more AFC then I am now, and I pretty much stopped talking to her for about three months, and today I asked her out for kicks. I'm going to a small-time zoo near my house and invited her to come along. Anyways is it possible that after three months she will no longer see me as a friend and grow interest in me if I do things right? Or I'm screwed with her?

 

[jtrain 289]

Yea actually its easier to get with a girl that see's you as a friend then a girl that you approach all you have to do is embrace your sexuaLITY and show her you have a penis.

 

[BannedGod]

Yea actually its easier to get with a girl that see's you as a friend then a girl that you approach all you have to do is embrace your sexuaLITY and show her you have a penis.

Sweet deal... I'm still slowly learning to do that; been reading the book of Pook and it's been helping me immensely, it's unbelievable. Hopefully this date will help me further learn to embrace my sexuality

 

[speakeasy]

Yea actually its easier to get with a girl that see's you as a friend then a girl that you approach all you have to do is embrace your sexuaLITY and show her you have a penis.

I don't agree with that at all. It's VERY hard to get out of the friendzone. I don't know if you were being sarcastic or what.

To the OP, read laddertheory.com is the best thing I've come across dealing with the dynamics of male/female platonic relationships with regards to the guy trying to get out of the friendzone. Women are strange, they can hang around some guy they think is attractive would be a great catch, is single, but yet think "well, I only like him as a friend." No guy could every be around a girl he feels that way about and not want something more. Doesn't make sense to me, but it is what it is.

 

[bachelor]

When women feel a certain way towards a male it is very hard to get them to think differently... When they think of you as a friend, its pretty tough to get out of that category. Although, I have seen a few guys pull it off with girls they've been friends with for a long time.

 

[TheHumanist]

I don't agree with that at all. It's VERY hard to get out of the friendzone. I don't know if you were being sarcastic or what.

To the OP, read laddertheory.com is the best thing I've come across dealing with the dynamics of male/female platonic relationships with regards to the guy trying to get out of the friendzone. Women are strange, they can hang around some guy they think is attractive would be a great catch, is single, but yet think "well, I only like him as a friend." No guy could every be around a girl he feels that way about and not want something more. Doesn't make sense to me, but it is what it is.

Women somehow have the mentality to be able to fell confortable and kill their attraction with a guy during a friendship.

Also the degree in escaping the friendzone depends, in a way, it doesn't really exist, but the concept make sense. There is a degree of how deep he is in the "zone." Some friendships only take a little move to change it, then again that not friendzone trend to mean, but a lot of people use that term for any friendship with a girl (as he might be). Other times, it take the ganji games to do it. Finally, there are the ones that are just not possible (more because there was never a real connection to begin with).

 

[Omen]

When women feel a certain way towards a male it is very hard to get them to think differently... When they think of you as a friend, its pretty tough to get out of that category. Although, I have seen a few guys pull it off with girls they've been friends with for a long time.

Been there done that, and bachelor is right. I had that problem when I was in high school and even early 20s. I'd persue a woman and try to be her friend, and i'd do it for a long time, and then I realized (or now realize) there was NO WAY I could have gone from that, to... Come on baby, we are going out.

It was already burned into her. I was the guy friend who let her cry on my shoulder or complain to me about her bf. I thought I was getting let in, but I wasn't and I spent nearly a YEAR trying to convince myself to just take it slow cause this woman has been through a lot.

I wasted 1yr of my life with someone who just wanted to be friends when I didnt see it. She did give signs the opposite too, but she was messed up.

All I can say is good luck, and sometimes you'll learn from your mistakes. Even if it means with that woman you learn them with. At least you'll understand the next time around. I did.

 

[azanon]

To the OP, read laddertheory.com is the best thing I've come across dealing with the dynamics of male/female platonic relationships with regards to the guy trying to get out of the friendzone.

Thanks for that link! omg, that is pretty entertaing; parts of it. "The woman's ladder" is hilarious.

 

[speakeasy]

Women somehow have the mentality to be able to fell confortable and kill their attraction with a guy during a friendship.

Also the degree in escaping the friendzone depends, in a way, it doesn't really exist, but the concept make sense. There is a degree of how deep he is in the "zone." Some friendships only take a little move to change it, then again that not friendzone trend to mean, but a lot of people use that term for any friendship with a girl (as he might be). Other times, it take the ganji games to do it. Finally, there are the ones that are just not possible (more because there was never a real connection to begin with).

What is a ganji game?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

When women feel a certain way towards a male it is very hard to get them to think differently... When they think of you as a friend, its pretty tough to get out of that category. Although, I have seen a few guys pull it off with girls they've been friends with for a long time.

Exactly. And this will only happen when you are no longer pursuing her and trying to convince her that you should be more than friends. How's that for a paradox? You need to stay away for some time and get your life going, if it is meant to be, she will see it, wonder why you no longer are after her jock, and will try to be part of your life once again. Let her be the one who's jumping through your hoops. That is the closest you'll come to getting a chance for a fresh start.

 

[TheHumanist]

What is a ganji game?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21610

 

[jtrain 289]

No guy could every be around a girl he feels that way about and not want something more.

you just said it yourself its not only with guys its with girls to any guy that acts like a guy will attract the girl A girl does not want to be friends with a guy at first Its only when the guy acts feminine (nice guy , afc that she'll want to be friends with you). As soon as i started embracing my sexuality all the girls i knew be4 i changed wanted me. IOts the girls that i approach on the street that I have a hard time with not because their not attracted but because they probably dont feel safe. On a few occassions girls have run away from me when i went up to them lol.

 

[jtrain 289]

Go to the archive and read most obvious come on's and then you'll know that when a women says lets just be friends thats all garbage its just that she doesn't think off you as a guy you could be friends with a girl for a ctrillion years once you decide to act like a man she will change instantly. Saying once a girl thinks off you as a friend that it doesnt matter how you change she wont go for you is like saying Once your friends with an ugly girl and all off a sudden she turns to a hotty you still wont go for her. thats dumb their so many posts on this forum that talks about how girls that were their so called frineds where their first **** as soon as they changed.

 

[Cash37]

You have to make a bold move that conveys sexual interest. The move has to be bold enough where there will either be a sexual relationship, or no relationship afterwards.

 

[Effington]

I've personally never seen a guy go from Friend's Zone to friend with benefits, but I've read that it's possible. Most LJBF guys are AFCs, which is probably part of it.

This "ganji game" sounds like a decent tactic here, when/if she resumes contact remember to play your game and make sure you don't make the same mistakes.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes man.

 

[jtrain 289]

You have to make a bold move that conveys sexual interest. The move has to be bold enough where there will either be a sexual relationship, or no relationship afterwards.

Na actually now that you told her the truth as long as you go up to other girls you will actually be happier even if she rejects you. Girls are nicer than us guys if we make a move on them they wont not be friends with us they'll still be our friends she'll just know your not an afc anymore which i would rather want then be her friend and here about otther guys ****ing her but not me.

 

[Mental]

I used to be in that dreaded friend zone with a girl back when I was much more AFC then I am now, and I pretty much stopped talking to her for about three months, and today I asked her out for kicks. I'm going to a small-time zoo near my house and invited her to come along. Anyways is it possible that after three months she will no longer see me as a friend and grow interest in me if I do things right? Or I'm screwed with her?

Don't expect it. You can hope for it, but don't obsess over it. Don't become a wimp to please her. Act like the right kind of man, a man with some integrity. Go ahead, be playful, all that, but ultimately don't forget the integrity. Be proud of yourself for showing that you're a good guy, and not a wimp who won't defend his beliefs. The past is the past. While it can affect what happens, it doesn't always. First encounters are important, but then, so are the current ones.

For example, there was a guy we all used to make fun of, and he was a real dork. You know what, though? He's gotten some confidence since we've talked to him the last time, he's started standing up for his beliefs, and now he's got some respect. We barely talk about the old guy any more, and we're quick to stick up for the guy because he improved his lifestyle a little and showed a little integrity.

I have no idea what happens where you live, or what your situation is, so I can't tell you what will happen. But sometimes, you'll have a person who can forgive and forget.

And if it happens, and you and this woman are both at the right place at the same time, and the feelings are mutual, it will probably happen. Don't expect it to, but if it does, then go for it.

 

[BrokenLeftWing]

first, how old are you? if your over 18 or even 21, and you want to hook up with her pass the first zone, then the zoo isn't the place. If I was in your shoes I would give her the impression right from the start that this isn't a friend thing. Seductive talk, light touching and sexually charged conversation would be my weapons. Don't be shocked if at first she is having a hard time with this change in the relationship. She has to choices from here on out: 1. say I don't like this for us and leave; 2. Get with the program. Its a win/win because if she doesn't go for it, you've saved yourself a lot of time trying with her. Second, if she does go for it then you can hit it son. Good luck and remember "Don't fly by ego alone".

BLW---

 

[Jon55]

Exactly. And this will only happen when you are no longer pursuing her and trying to convince her that you should be more than friends. How's that for a paradox? You need to stay away for some time and get your life going, if it is meant to be, she will see it, wonder why you no longer are after her jock, and will try to be part of your life once again. Let her be the one who's jumping through your hoops. That is the closest you'll come to getting a chance for a fresh start.

x2