Is it possible to beat pessimism?

[crackhead]

--->HOW can I beat pessimism?

It seems like I've been a ****ing pessimist my whole life man. Sure, I can read some inspiring positive quotes or articles here and there and be really interested in them, but I have never attained a prolonged, consistent state of optimism really.

Anyone know how?

There are all sorts of optimists out there that are complete tools that get mad girls. But since I tend to think negatively and lack confidence, I don't get girls hardly ever.

I reached a point of frustration with myself today resulting from lack of sex that was so intense, it was like an episode.

Confidence arises out of previous successes. But without many previous successes, how do you attain optimism? Pessimism is a friggin personality trait, how can it be reversed when it's your essence?

 

[nistelrooy]

yes, it is possible.

http://www.despair.com

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hold on to your hats, but I think that both optimism and pessimism is a load of ****.

Consider this, we can all agree that pessimism really doesn't get you anywhere productive so lets just put that aside. Optimism, although is seems like a good thing, is nothing but someone HOPING for the best. Whenever someone hopes, they are placing some EXTERNAL person, thing or force in charge of a situation, follow me?

Now, take something that is true to life like REALISM. It's based on what's happening in front of your eyes and not based on opinions like pessimism or yielding to fate. With realism you have the ability to control yourself and how you interact with the world.

What I'm trying to say is consider being realistic. Put aside any preconceptions about life, women or whatever. Start living life the way you would like it to be in your best case scenario. If you want to be a DJ, then act as if you are already one. If you want women to fawn over you, DO THE THINGS THAT WILL MAKE THEM!

I'm not saying that it will be easy, but you'll have more success acting the way you WANT to be and not REACTING to how you perceive things to be.

 

[DjDreamer]

To enhance your mood you should meditate, exercise and eat well.

Don't sit around all day focusing on all the bad things that happened and might happen...diversify your thougths...think about the worst case scenarios and the best case scenarios.

Maybe the next hb you see will be your wife and maybe you won't have any luck with women. Maybe all the hb's you see might totally despise your personality. Maybe tomorrow morning aliens will invade and in the next ten days scientists will discover an asteroid on a collison course with earth. Maybe tomorrow will be the start of the crime rate going down continously.

Free your mind from excessive worry! Think reasonably...

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Original poster: I wanted to relieve you of the misconception that all the optimistic guys out there are scoring left, right and centre - that's just not true. For years I was an extremely optimistic person, yet never had much luck at all, in fact I was a complete AFC (albeit optimistic!).

 

[MDgood]

haha... Can we see what's happening here?

Only a pessimist at heart would say, "Is it possible to beat pessimism", as like it may not be possible.

The optomist would have said, "How is it possible to beat pessimism?"

All these changes start within YOU!!!!

 

[crackhead]

MD, I'm saying this because I'm looking at it like a personality trait almost. BTW, if I DID ask HOW rather than IF, that's a pretty vague answer, no **** they start within you

and Oscar, so what changed you from an optimistic AFC to whatever you are now? C&F and Neg Hits?

 

[diplomatic_lies]

To be optimistic, you must realise despite your huge number of f*cked up experiences, each mistake was actually a learning opportunity.

Next time you mess up, learn.

 

[MDgood]

Originally posted by crackhead
MD, I'm saying this because I'm looking at it like a personality trait almost. BTW, if I DID ask HOW rather than IF, that's a pretty vague answer, no **** they start within you

Right, and I'm agreeing with you... pessimism is so much in your personality that your post's title read "is it possible". I'm a total optomist. If I were asking the question, my post's title would have read "how is it possible". Naturally, you wouldn't have taken the time to write the post if you were convinced you couldn't overcome it. in that it looks as if you already have some of the tools you need to overcome your pessimism. Pessimism when hitting on women is totally, completely bad... there's not a guy with any experience on this board who wouldn't both say that confidence is the key to success, and that if in life you think everything is bad, then chicks will notice that attitude in you. That's a turn off to women.

My answer, that it starts within you, may seem vague, but it is dead-on accurate and it's 100% effective. Optomism starts in the attitude you choose to have. You and I could both wake up one day with the very same problems lying at our feet. Your being a pessimist, you would get pissed off a bit, bytch a little, and complain about the situation: the situation would get to you. I being an optomist, would smile, be totally convinced that these problems are about to get a severe a$$ kicking from me, and even if I did not know the how to solve the problems, I would know that soon enough I would know how to solve them: I would get to the situation. At the end of the day, we both would have solved the problem, but I would be the one still smiling, and you would have the headache. It's due only because we both chose different attitudes towards the situation.

Basically:

You are a pessimist. The situation affects you.

I am an optomist. I affect the situation.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by crackhead
MD, I'm saying this because I'm looking at it like a personality trait almost. BTW, if I DID ask HOW rather than IF, that's a pretty vague answer, no **** they start within you

and Oscar, so what changed you from an optimistic AFC to whatever you are now? C&F and Neg Hits?

Changed? Huh?

I'm still an Optimistic AFC

Technically I'm an Optimistic Recovering Nice Guy!

And women love optimism generally - it's like the "Nothing I can't handle" and "Bring it on" statements in the Tips section. Smile

But I've learned confidence, mainly from sport and finding one I was good at (rugby - I was a tight-head prop #3).

That's what's helped me the most. That, and knowing the principles of attraction, what turns 'em on.

I've become quite the player recently, PU is easy for me now. But as you can see from my thread "where to draw the line", I still have problems not reverting to Nice Guy when I get past the pickup stage.

 

[Solomon79]

You understand that you are on your own in life.

I can sense that from your words.

You need to turn this state of loneliness and boredom into the pure joy of living in the moment, simply for the pure fcuk of it. To be honest, people barely notice that you are alive. The world is your oyster. Just go out and be crazy and do whatever the fcuk you want, and people still won't care, they are just too busy preoccupied with their own problems. Don't be like them. Decide to care LESS.

Also, you are not channeling your energy in the appropriate ways. Just think, if s.ex is all you care about, what is there to stop you from going to the nearest w.horehouse and banging every s.lut in sight?

Something inside stops you from doing it, right?

So you've established that you COULD do it, right now if you wanted to, but it's really SOMETHING ELSE that you are looking for.

Now you have made this distinction, you are free. You can be whoever you want to be. There's no need to be nervous around a chick ever again. She has no power over you, SHE should have to prove herself to you.

 

[crackhead]

good responses from everyone, and a great comparison there MD, thanks

I GOTTA CHANGE MY ****ING ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!