Is it possible to be too fun?

[Big Eee Zee]

I generally try to be interesting and fun with the girls I hang out with or are trying to get with, I mean duh, thats the idea. But is it possible to be too much fun?

Case in point-there is a certain girl right now that I have been spending a lot of time with lately, trying to gague the IL present. When I hang out with her I have a blast, but eventually we get carried away and treat her like shes a buddy or guy friend, you know, the people you really have a good time with. I fear that if I keep this up she might think I consider her just a friend that I enjoy have a good time with and loose all that hard-earned IL. Or maybe she is so swept up in having fun that she doesn't care what category of friend I lump her into, she just wants to be with me because we have a good time.

So I pose the question-can having too much fun with this girl kill my chances? Should I serious it up a little bit, or keep on having a blast and see how the situation unfolds.

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

Originally posted by Big Eee Zee
I generally try to be interesting and fun with the girls I hang out with or are trying to get with, I mean duh, thats the idea. But is it possible to be too much fun?

Case in point-there is a certain girl right now that I have been spending a lot of time with lately , trying to gague the IL present. When I hang out with her I have a blast, but eventually we get carried away and treat her like shes a buddy or guy friend, you know, the people you really have a good time with. I fear that if I keep this up she might think I consider her just a friend that I enjoy have a good time with and loose all that hard-earned IL. Or maybe she is so swept up in having fun that she doesn't care what category of friend I lump her into, she just wants to be with me because we have a good time.

So I pose the question-can having too much fun with this girl kill my chances? Should I serious it up a little bit, or keep on having a blast and see how the situation unfolds.

The problem is you are spending too much time with the girl in friend-type situations. If you're trying to gage her IL, you can do that in a single night by setting up a more intimate activity (dinner, evening alone somewhere) and then getting closer to her and eventually trying for a kiss.

Hanging out a lot with her will only result in her befriending you and being unable to see you as anything other than her 'fun' buddy.

-LB

 

[tmpgstx]

Look for a 'moment' between the two of you and go for the kiss. If she pulls away quick and says 'whoa', then you know you're a platonic friend.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

Hmm. Well, theres this big wooden pirate ship in the local park. It closes at night, but sometimes we sneak in and drink in it. (I know, those dammed irresponsible teenagers. Don't pretend you didn't do it ). Last time I was there with her she kept hugging me and leaning on me when we sat together. This friday one of my guy friends is bringing a girl prospect of his and I was thinking of bringing her. Whaddaya think?

Secluded wooden pirate ship.
Beautiful night.
Plenty o' brews.
Just us.
Had great experience there last time.

So, does it sound like a good opportunity?

 

[spider_007]

I don't think you coming accross to her as a sexual being but more as a fun friend. I read an article by Pook I think, couple of days ago that explains a lot of this. When your flirting with her you need to come accross as sexual being without saying it or making some stupid sexual coment. More in the way you look at her, touch her, tease her, hug.....

 

[Big Eee Zee]

makes sense. But she keeps dropping hints.
We were with a group of people and I gave her a chewing stick (cinamon flavored toothpick, don't ask...) and she held onto it, then later gave it back to me.

Her:"You can have it if you want it, I still have Dr Pepper."
Me:"Um...ok." then I looked at it to see if she had chewed it.
Her:"It doesn't have cooties. Besides, you want my cooties anyway."
That was a tad suggestive. And when we get together and drink she puts her legs on me when we sit across from each other, hugs me, and leans on me when we're sitting close. This next time I think I'm just gonna go for it. You know, balls up and man it out. Start with the arm around the shoulder, a little rubbing, get closer, lean in and say something, then maybe go slowly for the kiss.

Well, if thats not DJ then I don't know what is. Y'all think it'll work?

 

[spider_007]

Ohh she is defenitly flearty and giving hints. Go for it, Just remember what you learned here. tease her, kiss her and then pull away, for a bit....... you know what im talking about.

 

[jason86]

Yeh you got to be serious at times. If you're too funny/fun, then they just going to start thinking you're a clown. Got to have the right balance.

 

[Alpine]

I agree with Jason.

Humour needs to be limited, it smacks approval strategy if you use it all the time. That's not to say you can't be FUN, you should be.

As has been said, use it to comment on a situation, or to something that has been said. Don't tell jokes as a rule. I get the odd cracker and I can't resist but usually best avoided.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

well, this is turning into a progress diary, but what the hell, it'll be done tomorrow.

Well, I found out today that she brought a guy along to an outdoor get together with a bunch of people. All the other girls were making jokes like she liked the guy and that they had gone off to make out when we played hide and seek, but I didn't see them do anything to indicate they were more than friends. 'Sides, he's a drug dealer, a college dropout and on top of all that he seems like an AFC, cracking lame jokes and being a nice guy. I think I got him beat, so tomorrow I'm just gonna see where things lead. Updates as they occur.

Edit~Well, sh|t. apparently they went to the park yesterday night. Alone.

I txted her about what happened last night. She said that she went to the park with him. "Do you want the details, lol" was what she said. I said
"Well, was it a risque as I think?" She just laughed at me using risque and said she'll call me after work. Now, she MAY have been joking, possibly. WIth the way she treats her friends it is possible that they were really platonic. But all the other girls there that night think that she wanted to hook up with him. And they may have already. So my plan is tonight to get drunk and ask if they're an "item". If she says yes, I will be like 'I was just curious'. If she says no, and then asks why I'll be like

"Because I wanted to know If I could do this." then lean in and kiss her. Not fast though, she'll have time to react. If I get smaked, I'll blame it on the alcohol. If I find out later that she is in fact hooking up with this other guy, I'll claim it was just a one night stand. And if everything works out, then good.

Do you think going for it is a good idea in this instance, or am I setting myself up for bad times?
(Note, I'm not chasing a taken girl. I'm simply applying my DJ skills to a challenge. If I find out that she is doing something with him, I'm going to break it off immediately.)