Is it possible to be a romantic DJ?

[ForeverYoungDJ]

I'm steadily trying to get rid of my AFC ways and work towards being a DJ. One thing I'm wondering is if it's possible to be a romantic DJ. Deep down, I'm a romantic at heart, in previous relationships I've always done very thoughtful things and am constantly looking for unique ways to display my affection. Doing so, I've made girls feel extremely special and it makes me happy to see my girls happy. I know it's very important not to put a girl on a pedastal and to make it known you have options and that your world doesn't revolve around her, but when you're being romantic, you're basically telling her she's the only girl for you so it kinda contradicts. I guess my question is, is it possible to retain being a romantic while also being a DJ, cause I feel that it's one of the best qualities and I would hate to lose it, but I can't help but wonder if it's holding me back. Input? Thanks!

 

[War Against Betaism]

Keep doing what works for you. There are people here who are going to label you an AFC, but those are the guys that mainly revolve their game around textbooks and not experience. People forget that women are human beings and human beings like it when people are nice to them. The only time it is AFC to really buy another woman something is if you go out of your way to do it or if you rely on it to earn your affection with them. It should be something because YOU want to do it, not because it is an opportunity to get closer with them.

 

[Jitterbug]

Yes you can be romantic provided that:

- Romance is given only to girls who actually like you. AFCs misuse romance: they do romantic things for girls as a way to "buy" their affection.

- It's on your terms.

- You keep a solid frame: if you're a romantic type, be true to it. Else you'll come across as a phony.

The character Don Juan that this forum got the name from wasn't a cold-blooded, calculating man who just wanted to get his d!ck wet.

 

[SinJester]

Yes, it is.

Everything works if you do it RIGHT. Look at your own experience. If what you are doing is working then don't change it because a forum post said to. If what you are doing isn't working change it. If you want to know if something works try it.

Jitterbug and War Against Betaism are right on the money. If you are being romantic because YOU want to, not because you are trying to buy her affection or get her to like you, then it can and probably will work. You can do it just because you want her to feel good as well, but as soon as you are trying to get something is likely to go wrong.

If you really are a 'romantic guy', then going against that and acting like you aren't will actually be worse for you. It will be fake and put on. Girls see through this. Just be honest and authentic.

In 'DJ Terms' you could be romantic if:
-It was only occasionally
-It was to reward her

It may be surprising to some but girls actually like to feel good. I called a girl gorgeous today, because I meant it, and she melted. If I was trying to follow my DJ mindset I wouldn't have done that because I would be too worries about putting her on a pedestal and giving value away. I would have used a neg or something, but the girl wouldn't have felt as good. However old nice guy me would call a girl gorgeous to try and get her to like me, I would be trying to get something and I would be attached to the outcome. It wouldn't work.

Do you see the patterns?

EDIT: Just want to add that a romantic type of DJ is the along the lines many naturals I know.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNLc99c4ywg

Sinjester and Jitterbug pretty much said it all but I just wanted to throw in this hilarious Player Supreme podcast.

Its on avoiding the friendzone which is not what your topic is about but a little bit at the beginning of the podcast he recommends a great song for if you want to be a romantic type of player.

The song he chose made me laugh out loud but he's absolutely right women love that sort of sh!t.

The romantic type of player can get away with emotional type words the AFC can't and the regular DJ simply has no use for.

So definitely it can be a successful approach to be a romantic DJ and combine the two.

 

[Jitterbug]

EDIT: Just want to add that a romantic type of DJ is the along the lines many naturals I know.

I'll second that. I have a few friends who are European naturals (French). They are very C&F to girls they're wooing and very romantic (creative, not cheesy) to their girlfriends or even just flings. That's pretty much like myself (I'm a dancer and have a great passion for performing arts so it comes out naturally), although I'm not as good as them (yet).

KontrollerX, that bloody song is boner-killing material!