"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is it over before it started?

Mr80LBBalls

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I registered ages ago to a couple dating sites. The other day I get an e-mail saying so and so winked at me. I had tons of winks but this chick lived in my city and was the only one I'd even speak to, looked to have potential. So I hit her back with an introduction and an invitation to hang out this weekend. She replies and asks for my number.

I give it and she calls me yesterday. I didn't pick up the first time because I didn't recognize the # so i assumed it was a bill collector lol. Anyway we get to talking on the phone and she's definitely quite interested in hanging out tonite (= last night). I took that to mean, "she can't be that hot then." I made an excuse and told her I'd call her later were I to change my mind. I did change my mind and I called her and we decided to meet up at some pool place. She's 19 and I'm 21 so she couldn't get in...we went elsewhere. I couldn't believe my ****ing eyes as this broad was an absolute 9. I had come unprepared for the date and hadn't really dressed up anything special or close to it, because I figured she's the one who wanted me. We talk for about 45 and she's an absolutely awesome girl - I was extremely excited about going further. I walk her to her car, open the door for her, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek while she was expecting and receptive to a mouth kiss. I asked her jokingly if I was ever going to see her again and she said "surrrreee! " and sounded genuine but I knew it was probably a lame move on my part.

We were next to each other at the stop light and I couldn't wait to see her again so I insisted we go to a movie tomorrow (= tonight). She said yeah and I felt pretty good, except I was pretty nervous for the brief date and really didn't think I was 'impressive' at all. So going into today i was about 60% optimistic and I called her about 5 pm. No answer. Called at 7, no answer, I left a message. If you've gotten this far I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read this. Am I completely blowing this out of proportion or am I certainly being blown off? This chick is incredible and while that doesnt make a difference to most of you, she's definitely a trophy chick and one I'd like to be with.

Can anybody give me some help?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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flexion_

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Back off... play it cool. There is no rush. You have already called her too soon and too many times.
 

Mr80LBBalls

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flexion_ said:
Back off... play it cool. There is no rush. You have already called her too soon and too many times.
Yeah I guess I just kinda reasoned with myself that the wait 3 days routine has long been played out. She said yeah so I didn't want to NOT call her.
 

IsiMan84

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I wouldn't have had a problem with calling the first time like you did, but just let the missed call show up on her phone (no message) and let her decide what you wanted and what she should do. Otherwise you will look too desperate if she checks and sees that you called so many times. Leaving the message basically puts the power in her hands, because she already knows what you want.
 

Desdinova

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Okay, I'm gonna point a few things out to you:

I had come unprepared for the date and hadn't really dressed up anything special or close to it, because I figured she's the one who wanted me.
Who cares? You've completed the first part of the battle which is getting the girl out on a first date. Women are more interested in your personality than what you look like.

We were next to each other at the stop light and I couldn't wait to see her again so I insisted we go to a movie tomorrow
Did you prematurely ejaculate or something? You're jumping on this girl too quickly, and you're showing her that you need to cling to her to prevent her from leaving. Behavior like this will freak her out and chase her away. Women want men who don't need them.

I called her about 5 pm. No answer. Called at 7, no answer, I left a message.
One call, one message. She's not deaf or stupid. When she gets your message, she'll call back. If she doesn't call back, call the next day. If you still get nothing, put her phone number away until you hear from her again. If you never hear from her again, throw the number away.

[/quote]she's definitely a trophy chick and one I'd like to be with. [/quote]

So, if she's a trophy chick, what are you? A chunky spit-wad?

Be more valuable than the trophy chick. She should like to be with you, not the other way around. After all, you've given her the privelage of spending time with you. You were about to write her off because she contacted you through the net. She's lucky she even got that date!

Quit being so impatient with getting another date with this woman. There's lots of other ones out there should this one flake on you.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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IsiMan84

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Desdinova said:
If you still get nothing, put her phone number away until you hear from her again. If you never hear from her again, throw the number away.
I'm just curious on the time frame on this part, because it could be a week, two weeks, a month, etc. I'm just wondering what "never hear from her again" would constitute, because you can't really tell the future on that one.
 

Desdinova

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Women are funny. A month could go by and you'll get a phone call from her. But you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket unless you're in a LTR. You should be meeting and dating other women. By the time you realize that this one woman hasn't called you, you won't care because you've still got other women on the go.
 

IsiMan84

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Yea I understand all that, just on the whole throwing away the number thing is where I had the question. Of course it seems like no harm if it's saved in my phone so I know who's calling, but even when I do start meeting the other girls should I even be concerned if I get rid of it or not?
 

Desdinova

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but even when I do start meeting the other girls should I even be concerned if I get rid of it or not?
I don't have a cell phone, but I have a wallet. Every once in a while, I'll sit down and clean all the crap out of it. I'll run across reciepts for things that I bought six months ago, and it isn't even anything significant. It brings back a brief memory, and then I toss it in the trash. If you use your phone for storing numbers, treat it the same way. Just delete her number when it's convenient for you to do so.
 

Tomatoes

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Desdinova said:
Women are funny. A month could go by and you'll get a phone call from her. But you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket unless you're in a LTR. You should be meeting and dating other women. By the time you realize that this one woman hasn't called you, you won't care because you've still got other women on the go.
Exactly!

I had a women I gamed 6 months ago (She flaked back in my AFC days) call me the other night. Going to sort out something with her next week.....Im to busy right now. :up:


Sarge On!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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IsiMan84

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Desdinova said:
I don't have a cell phone, but I have a wallet. Every once in a while, I'll sit down and clean all the crap out of it. I'll run across reciepts for things that I bought six months ago, and it isn't even anything significant. It brings back a brief memory, and then I toss it in the trash. If you use your phone for storing numbers, treat it the same way. Just delete her number when it's convenient for you to do so.
I see. I guess that's another thing to consider, since not everybody has the same record-keeping methods.

Tomatoes said:
Exactly!

I had a women I gamed 6 months ago (She flaked back in my AFC days) call me the other night. Going to sort out something with her next week.....Im to busy right now. :up:


Sarge On!
There's a prime example of what I was talking about. If I assumed a month was long enough to delete the number, and the girl calls 6 months later (which would be weird). But in an extreme case like that, something is definitely wrong with the girl.
 
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