Is it okay to being natural and not thinking about tactics?

[nelysses]

I saw too many books, videos etc about getting women.
For example there was a girl she doesn't want me but I was reading and watching to get that girl, I was looking for tactics, I was thinking like what should I do next like playing chess.
Then I read pook, also some others. Now I think tactics are bull****.
If I see a woman I just be myself and just go talk her. I don't think about What should I say, I don't think my next move etc.

The girl I mentioned at the beginning of the thread. She didn't want me. But I was allways too passive. I was justlooking at her and thinking she is so beatiful what should i do..
Now I'm looking past and I didn't even offer to coffee. Just said hello, we talked about life or school maybe. Then I leaved..

So I decided to be a man. Take responsibility about it. But not chasing tactics. What you guys think about it?

Is it the right way or should I do something different?
Actually PUAs still attract my attention, I would like to be a PUA at some point in my life, but I don't think it is for me

 

[Michael Chief]

PUAs call that "Natural Game." There's still a method to it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Find what makes you attractive and expand on that. Different for everyone.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I mean, "just be yourself" is generally terrible dating advice - particularly if you've no women and have always been yourself.

You aren't actually taking action, and that will always be the problem.

A side note: I would stop pursuing this girl who has repeatedly not shown interest in you.

 

[nelysses]

I mean, "just be yourself" is generally terrible dating advice - particularly if you've no women and have always been yourself.

You aren't actually taking action, and that will always be the problem.

A side note: I would stop pursuing this girl who has repeatedly not shown interest in you.

"Being yourself" is a tooo bad advice I know. I tried once.
But what should We do? I'm still improving and focusing on myself. My problem is just about girls and I can't act everytime.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I can't act everytime.

Sure, but you could have acted when you

I didn't even offer to coffee. Just said hello, we talked about life or school maybe. Then I leaved..

My advice is to stop reading books and watching videos on how to pick up girls. Make yourself more attractive (gym, clothes, hygiene), and go talk to some girls. You can read all the books in the world and they mean nothing if you haven't actually approached a girl. You do this enough times, you learn that you don't have to follow any of the rules or guidelines in those books after all.

 

[Barrister]

Once you know how to be charismatic and seductive naturally you don't need to worry about all of the "tactics." Most of the rules exist for the guys who haven't been in the dating game very long and don't know how to apply themselves throughout interactions with women -- generally either 1st dates or cold approach.

You become experienced, you are actually better off simply operating in organic fashion and not worry about being formulaic in your approach and interactions with women. Until such time, the rules/guidelines we follow here are good guardrails to help a guy out.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I just be myself

If yourself is a fat unattractive creep, who doesn't know how to dress, who doesn't know how to act normal and maintain a normal conversation, please don't be yourself. Fix that first.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The only ‘tactics’ I think I’ve thought about & used are initiation.

 

[Manure Spherian]

"Being yourself" is a tooo bad advice I know. I tried once.
But what should We do? I'm still improving and focusing on myself. My problem is just about girls and I can't act everytime.

Do you have a robust social life with friends and family members? Are you sociable, physically fit, and employed?

If you have that nailed down, there’s not much else you need to do other than meet and interact with women. Likely can’t change much beyond the aforesaid.

And you only need to be attractive to some women, not many, to get what you want.

 

[kleathe1]

If yourself is a fat unattractive creep, who doesn't know how to dress, who doesn't know how to act normal and maintain a normal conversation, please don't be yourself. Fix that first.

I agree with this...I think the advice should say to "Be your best self" hell make it a motivational cat poster if you have to, but that is the premise. Get your life together, find something you are passionate about, do hard shiit just because it's hard to do and master your own willpower and self control. Get so busy doing things you like to do that you forget to look around and one day you may look up to a throng of women trying to get your attention because they have been secretly watching you from afar.

 

[nelysses]

I agree with this...I think the advice should say to "Be your best self" hell make it a motivational cat poster if you have to, but that is the premise. Get your life together, find something you are passionate about, do hard shiit just because it's hard to do and master your own willpower and self control. Get so busy doing things you like to do that you forget to look around and one day you may look up to a throng of women trying to get your attention because they have been secretly watching you from afar.

If yourself is a fat unattractive creep, who doesn't know how to dress, who doesn't know how to act normal and maintain a normal conversation, please don't be yourself. Fix that first.

Yeah I'm still fixing. I'm losing Weight(lost 25 but still continueing), I was just wearing Tracksuits but now I changed a little bit. I'm waiting for my last form to buy new clothes
I started to go a good Hairdresser. I pay attention to personal care.

I just talking about socializing like What should I say now, How to treat that woman... That was like I'm playing chess.

 

[nelysses]

Do you have a robust social life with friends and family members? Are you sociable, physically fit, and employed?

If you have that nailed down, there’s not much else you need to do other than meet and interact with women. Likely can’t change much beyond the aforesaid.

And you only need to be attractive to some women, not many, to get what you want.

Nowadays I just have problem about physically because I gain too much but Still losing them.
except this my only problem is about socializing and girls.
I'm still a student so I'm unemployed right now.
I just don't know where and how to meet with women.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Yeah I'm still fixing. I'm losing Weight(lost 25 but still continueing), I was just wearing Tracksuits but now I changed a little bit. I'm waiting for my last form to buy new clothes
I started to go a good Hairdresser. I pay attention to personal care.

I just talking about socializing like What should I say now, How to treat that woman... That was like I'm playing chess.

You're in the right path, keep going and practicing

 

[Desdinova]

Now I think tactics are bull****.
If I see a woman I just be myself and just go talk her. I don't think about What should I say, I don't think my next move etc.

If you just "be yourself" and go talk to her about the weather outside, you're just being your boring self. If you alter yourself into being a genuinely interesting human being, then "being yourself" can get you women.

 

[nelysses]

If you just "be yourself" and go talk to her about the weather outside, you're just being your boring self. If you alter yourself into being a genuinely interesting human being, then "being yourself" can get you women.

So how to be interesting? It changes for every other person. I find something Interesting but you don't.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So how to be interesting? It changes for every other person. I find something Interesting but you don't.

Whenever you think of the right response, respond exactly the opposite. That will make things interesting.