is it normal not having a "girlfriend" ever before?

[Canadien]

I see lot of guys on this board playing the game but how do you guys keep your enthusiasm high enough if you never had a girlfriend before?

As of right now I'm taking 5 dance lessons, approaching in university and trying to improve myself everyday, but the though of not yet having a "girlfriend" is still on the back of my mind, how do I get comfort and peace with these negative mindset?

I am really pumped daily to go out to find that elusive girl but I just started this whole DonJuan lifestyle 10 months ago, before that I couldn't even make an eye contact with anyone, so should I concern myself with getting a girlfriend or should I just stay in the moment and enjoy it while it lasts?

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't stress so much over it man.

You're on the right path now for sure, you just have to keep persuing your passions in life while continuing to approach women and you should find a girlfriend eventually no problem.

It has often been said that when you are persuing a passion of yours in life that is when girlfriend material for you shows up.

Also as for never having a girlfriend you just have to remind yourself that there is a first time for everything and it is a natural state to be in to not of had one.

 

[rsaini]

i totally agree with KontX's reply.
Your dik is gonna come out n shoot u in your face if u give up on approaching women!!!:yes:

 

[Jukeboxhero]

Don't worry, I'm in the same situation as you are. Only I'm even older, 29 to be exact.
So don't worry about your past, worry about your future, or your past will become your future!

Btw, I'm curious. Are you taking 5 DIFFERENT Dance classes or 5 classes a week of the same Dance class? I'm just curious what types of dancing you're doing and how that's working out for you. Also, does the university charge much?
I was doing some dance classes, but it ended up being too far/too much of a pain to get to. It was cheap though, only $5!

 

[Dongfu]

stay in the moment - american girlfriend = dj prison :woo:

 

[reset]

Good responses. What is "normal"? It doesn't exist. Unless you're thinking "other people will judge me because I don't fit the mold of what they may consider as normal", but that's a dead end because normal varies from person to person.

Keep on keeping on. KontrollerX is right, keep the proper perspective. When you're passionate about something that just exudes strength, because you're making your life happen. I think it's "common" to think none of that counts though without a girlfriend, but at the same time, chicks are great but they can also be a pain in the ass. Which is to say they aren't everything.

But the stuff you can control, your passions, self-development, whatever... no chick can mess with that. That's yours to keep.

 

[Canadien]

For the dances

Don't worry, I'm in the same situation as you are. Only I'm even older, 29 to be exact.
So don't worry about your past, worry about your future, or your past will become your future!

Btw, I'm curious. Are you taking 5 DIFFERENT Dance classes or 5 classes a week of the same Dance class? I'm just curious what types of dancing you're doing and how that's working out for you. Also, does the university charge much?
I was doing some dance classes, but it ended up being too far/too much of a pain to get to. It was cheap though, only $5!

I'm taking two swing dance lessons, and three combination of latin dance lessons,where they do combination of all the variety they have, its costing me $150 in total for three dance lessons at my university, which will last for 10 classes, while its costing me $145 for two other lessons from another university for 10 lesson.

What I noticed was the fact that over time I become comfortable with each dance style, as it was the case with "bachata," and I show great leadership and alpha trait when it happens, as just this Friday I was showing a girl some "Bachata" moves before instructor had a chance, and it got a big wow reaction from her, and attraction from her to go along with it...

So, I don't know why not many people from this forum take dance lessons, it seems to be easiest environment to qualify yourself, and play your game without anyone noticing anything at all, its so easy to get contacts from girls, now I only need to get back to theses girls.....

 

[Maxtro]

Honestly it is not normal to be 25+ and have never had a girl friend. But don't let that stop you.

The closest I got a girl friend was a fat chick that I dated for two weeks and we made out a lot

What I do is tell myself that I am still young and that I am making small steps of progress everyday.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Maybe a good opportunity hasn't yet presented itself to you, and you're not the type of guy to settle for second best. Unless women have just gone completely crazy, that ought to be a respectable answer. The fact is, most guys just get lucky and stumble into a couple relationships in their lifetimes... fate is kind to them. But it isn't really, because by allowing them the "easy" way out, they become complacent, settle for what they have, and never learn to be the kind of guy they really want to be. Now let me ask you, who is the stronger man: The guy who has been "off and on" like a broken record with the same girl he's been dating since highschool, for fear of losing her and never being able to get another girl, or the guy who has been working on becoming the man he wants to be, and having the patience to wait for the girl he really wants. The second guy is obviously going to be much more successful, both with women, and with life. This is the mindset you need to have.

 

[Maxtro]

Heh nice point pimp.

In all actuality the stronger guy is actually the "off and on guy" until the other guy starts to have some successes. Then the scales should tip.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Make getting a girlfriend one of your goals, so you have to ignore the fact you don't have one and establish the fact that you're gonna get one.

 

[CanuckinSK]

Honestly it is not normal to be 25+ and have never had a girl friend. QUOTE]

It may seem hard to believe to most people, but some guys just may not be interested in dating until a little later in life.

Speaking from personal experience, it's possible to go YEARS without a date and not necessarily go insane! Wrap yourself up in hobbies/work and life's not so bad. I didn't date anyone from 17-22. I just had other things that occupied my time and gave me enjoyment.

Ironically, the less interested you GENUINELY are in women, the more interested they seem to become in you.

I wouldn't recommend not dating for long periods of time though. The longer you're out, the harder it is to get back in the game.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Well, at some point, EVERY guy has never had a gf before, so I believe its typically a normal thing.

 

[Mental]

I see lot of guys on this board playing the game but how do you guys keep your enthusiasm high enough if you never had a girlfriend before?

As of right now I'm taking 5 dance lessons, approaching in university and trying to improve myself everyday, but the though of not yet having a "girlfriend" is still on the back of my mind, how do I get comfort and peace with these negative mindset?

I am really pumped daily to go out to find that elusive girl but I just started this whole DonJuan lifestyle 10 months ago, before that I couldn't even make an eye contact with anyone, so should I concern myself with getting a girlfriend or should I just stay in the moment and enjoy it while it lasts?

I think it's about not focusing on how little experience you've had in dating, and I think the importance has to be in other things.

I may not have had thhe hottest women, and I may have only dated two women, but man, I was a d@mn good boyfriend in both cases, and the second time around, I had learned a lot about not being a pushover.

I think it does also depend (a tiny bit at least) on how you choose to see yourself.

But, it can be daunting. I have only one woman interested, I meet very few women in my life because of work, and the beautiful ones tend to still make me more shy. I was (almost) shocked by a woman's beauty the other day, because I don't interact with many women around my age (although I did do a minor save).

I could go home feeling bad that I didn't automatically go up and introduce myself, that I was in a group (with her in it) and shyed away, etc,

or I could be proud that I did a lot of networking for work, I impressed some people, may be getting some gigs from it, got my name out there, and I DID finally get to do some small talk with her. (and I did well on performing, everything worked the way it was supposed to) so I came across fairly slickly.

I could (and I still do sometimes) get down about my lack oof experience. But then I realize that I have the confidence in that I'm one heck of a good man, and one heck of a great boyfriend ::if the woman takes the time to get to know me::

You're trying to improve. That should be a priority. Use it IF you work with it. And it's all about little steps at a time. Today I walked three miles. This week, cut down on the bad food. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

 

[shop until I die!]

You can't stress over this kind of stuff, if it's going to happen it will happen. Until then you just have to play the game as best as you can play it and let the pieces fall into place.

 

[SaucyBoy]

Never let this destroy your self confidence. If you do, it's a downward spiral. Realize that as you get older, you are getting more attractive to women, esp. if you have a good job lined up and have your sh1t together.

 

[ChocolateVanilla]

Maybe a good opportunity hasn't yet presented itself to you, and you're not the type of guy to settle for second best. Unless women have just gone completely crazy, that ought to be a respectable answer. The fact is, most guys just get lucky and stumble into a couple relationships in their lifetimes... fate is kind to them. But it isn't really, because by allowing them the "easy" way out, they become complacent, settle for what they have, and never learn to be the kind of guy they really want to be. Now let me ask you, who is the stronger man: The guy who has been "off and on" like a broken record with the same girl he's been dating since highschool, for fear of losing her and never being able to get another girl, or the guy who has been working on becoming the man he wants to be, and having the patience to wait for the girl he really wants. The second guy is obviously going to be much more successful, both with women, and with life. This is the mindset you need to have.

I agree 100%. A lot of guys get "lucky" and most of those guys are in what I like to call "BS relationships" and they settle for less. A lot of girls will also dump these guys because often times they themselves are settling and if a real man comes along, they'll skip their old BF in a heartbeat. Most girls would love to rather have the ego boost of having a BF rather than stay single anyways. Just by looking at a lot of the relationships at my school, I can tell most of them are settling. Just my 2 cents. Personally, I've learned never to settle for less. I'm perfectly willing to walk away from a girl if she doesn't meet my standards. Just work on improving your game and your life and if the right girl comes, she comes, if not, then don't sweat it.

 

[Canadien]

For now

I agree 100%. A lot of guys get "lucky" and most of those guys are in what I like to call "BS relationships" and they settle for less. A lot of girls will also dump these guys because often times they themselves are settling and if a real man comes along, they'll skip their old BF in a heartbeat. Most girls would love to rather have the ego boost of having a BF rather than stay single anyways. Just by looking at a lot of the relationships at my school, I can tell most of them are settling. Just my 2 cents. Personally, I've learned never to settle for less. I'm perfectly willing to walk away from a girl if she doesn't meet my standards. Just work on improving your game and your life and if the right girl comes, she comes, if not, then don't sweat it.

my mission is to learn to lead, and escalate kino with woman, and for that I've joined swingX2, tango, salsaX2 and other latin danceX2 lessons.
I believe you can learn a lot about how relationship would reveal itself with woman in 5-6 minutes you get to dance with her, we change partner every 5 minute.
its basically high paced speed dating from my understanding as you get to do all the kino you want and she can't do nothing about it, but while I'm leading her I look for signs to see if she is attracted or has the standard I'm looking for.

Wish me good luck guys, I'll need it big time, this will be one adventurous semester for me, as I just started this dance lessons last week and I'm already seeing very positive results already, If nothing else now I am learnning and able to reject girls from my side If I don't find the spark I'm looking for..