Is it necessary to suffer?

[loving]

When you have love for someone and it ends.. That love turns to suffering.

Is it necessary to go through that suffering or is it healthy to just pretend like nothing happens?

 

[Furyguy]

It happens. Just get over it quickly. It's not hard if you put your mind to it.

 

[WC2]

If you don't allow yourself to become infatuated with another person from the get-go then you don't need to worry about things like this.

I always liked the quote, "Remember I'm just a man don't follow me n1gga".

I don't care if you follow someone who's male/female/both; if you become infatuated with one person, you're selling yourself short.

We should like women for their features that set them apart from men; whether it be their hair, sense of naivety, or their scent. But once we start putting them on a pedestal like a hollywood movie is when we start becoming infatuated with not only them, but LOVE itself.

In my experience, there is no such thing as true, everlasting love. And believing there is just intoxicates the mind. You can love a person without selling your soul to them. You can love them for who they are, but remember you must love yourself all the more. If you don't, then when they decide it's time to love someone else, you'll have no one to love.

 

[loving]

When I feel as if I love myself and my world more for everything we've been through, it also still feels like "why can't I have her to bring me higher anymore?"

How do I keep from becoming attached to the next one while still being able to experience love?

 

[Igetit!]

When I feel as if I love myself and my world more for everything we've been through, it also still feels like "why can't I have her to bring me higher anymore?"

How do I keep from becoming attached to the next one?

I don't understand it when guys ask this question about how to not get attached to a girl. Look,if someone is in your presence for an extended period of time,and you interact with this person,meaning you laugh,talk,and just generally enjoy them being around,YOU WILL GET ATTACHED.
You asked how to not get attached to the "next one",as if you getting attached to the last one was a conscious choice you made.
I know that you're young,but what I'm about to say is something you need to learn NOW,something that will help you in the future.

If you get into a relationship,YOU WILL GET ATTACHED,AND YOU WILL GET HURT.

Notice what I said. I didn't say you'd get cheated on,I said you'd get hurt. It's foolish to think you that you can get into a LTR or just hang around someone for a long time and you two never hurt or offend each other.

You don't want to get attached? You don't want to get hurt? Easy man. Stay single for the rest of your life. There. Problem solved. You won't have to worry about a girl crushing your feelings,oneitis,getting cheated on,getting rejected,etc. Being alone will take care of all of these things for you.

You may avoid pain this way,but to have a happy,fulfilling life some pain and suffering is necessary.

 

[Lexington]

Yup, suffering is inevitable if you want to play the relationship game. However, a great deal of suffering can be alleviated by always keeping in mind that women are just women. Like WC2 said, you can like and love a girl, but you shouldn't get infatuated with her.

Always understand that there are billions of girls on the planet and if one doesn't work out, there are lots more out there. There is no such thing as your one and only special someone. There are literally millions of women out there with whom you can potentially have a loving, successful relationship.

 

[MisterMcGee]

I don't agree with everything you say igetit, but I do agree with that.
LTRs arent for feeling good 24/7, it's about going all sorts of interesting sh1t (bad or good) with someone you care about.

 

[KontrollerX]

Whenever you make attachments to anything there will inevitably be suffering.

http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/attachment.htm

Try nihilism or the extremely similar yet spiritual alternative to it known as Buddhism.

Buddhism's view of non attachment is shamed in the west but everyone always fears what they don't understand and members of the system like crabs in a barrel always try to pull others back into their system via shaming doing the system's bidding for it.

Unplug young brother.

Love the traits of a woman, the hairstyle of her that you like, the body type that you like, the fingernails be they painted or not, short or long, hands soft or not very soft, the beautiful lips and voice etc.

Yes indeed love the traits of women but do not love an individual woman for that leads to attachment and suffering.

Rather become one with the universe and you never lose attachment with anything for you are everything and everything is you.

In other words Leykis 101 is the way for you to go.

Stop loving a particular chick and start taking the view that one woman with the traits you desire and require is as good as any other woman with those same traits and there are millions of them out there for you to choose from so start choosing and drop the western attachment belief system.

Non attachment is the road to happiness and enlightenment.

 

[friend of a friend]

Yes, suffering is inevitable in life. Attachment leads to suffering, and that includes attachment to a non-suffering state of being. When you go through pain, do what you can to overcome it, but don't fight the fact that it exists. Accept that suffering is inevitable, seek to understand your attachments that led to your suffering, and LET THEM PASS.