Abbott
Master Don Juan
When I go to bars and clubs, I seemed to have noticed this. Anyone else notice this too? Often I go out alone, but it doesn't seem to be very common.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Is it just me, or people rarely seem to go out alone?
- Thread starter Abbott
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
Why? It doesn't bother me at all.Obsidian said:yeah, most people are too timid to go places alone. even guys.
SilverProphet
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2007
- Messages
- 15
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hmm Sometimes I go workout alone, go to eat alone and go shopping alone. However, I never go to clubs or bars alone. It kinda sucks when you really want to go sometimes but you cant find nobody to go with you. Maybe I should try to hit the club by myself sometimes.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
Then why don't you?SilverProphet said:hmm Sometimes I go workout alone, go to eat alone and go shopping alone. However, I never go to clubs or bars alone. It kinda sucks when you really want to go sometimes but you cant find nobody to go with you. Maybe I should try to hit the club by myself sometimes.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
SilverProphet
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2007
- Messages
- 15
- Reaction score
- 1
oh well. What else can you do beside picking up chicks when you go to club alone? Drink or dance by yourself? That is ****ty man. Also it is easier to pick up a group of girls with friends.
For myself there's the whole stigma of what you think people are thinking about you. The key is to not give a crap what anyone thinks about you under any circumstances.
I haven't gone out alone for a long time, but it's something I'm working on.
I guess before, I figured someone would look at me and think there's something wrong with me "why is he alone?"
The funny thing about clubs, is I haven't gone to one alone. I've thought about it, but haven't had the courage yet. I only go if my buddies are going.
But just about every time I go to a club, have a couple drinks and start feeling the music, I cruise the club by myself. I get high off all the energy, girls, the music, and it's something I have to experience by myself. Then I'll go out on the dancefloor, alone, while my friends are just standing at the bar, nodding their heads back and forth at the beat.
I'm not a "club guy" but everytime I DO go, I think this is the type of place I always want to be. So, why don't I go alone? I don't have an excuse for that anymore. The only reason is, so people won't think I'm weird or a loner or something. But take that out of the mix, and there aren't any good answers.
I haven't gone out alone for a long time, but it's something I'm working on.
I guess before, I figured someone would look at me and think there's something wrong with me "why is he alone?"
The funny thing about clubs, is I haven't gone to one alone. I've thought about it, but haven't had the courage yet. I only go if my buddies are going.
But just about every time I go to a club, have a couple drinks and start feeling the music, I cruise the club by myself. I get high off all the energy, girls, the music, and it's something I have to experience by myself. Then I'll go out on the dancefloor, alone, while my friends are just standing at the bar, nodding their heads back and forth at the beat.
I'm not a "club guy" but everytime I DO go, I think this is the type of place I always want to be. So, why don't I go alone? I don't have an excuse for that anymore. The only reason is, so people won't think I'm weird or a loner or something. But take that out of the mix, and there aren't any good answers.
I think that's the only particularly good reason to bring a friend along. Most of my friends would tend to be kind of a drag in the club scene anyway. I was actually thinking about going out to one by myself tonight, but I don't really feel like spending $10 more this weekend just to go grind with some hors.Also it is easier to pick up a group of girls with friends.
And I have a big paper due in a few days that technically I should be working on...at least that's what I tell myself.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
Yes, I do just drink. As for dancing...if I don't have a partner, then almost never. I only dance with women, so if it's a group of guys then that doesn't help, at least not in that respect.SilverProphet said:oh well. What else can you do beside picking up chicks when you go to club alone? Drink or dance by yourself? That is ****ty man. Also it is easier to pick up a group of girls with friends.
Also, I almost always wind up striking up a conversation with someone else who's there. If there's no "click," I can leave them. Sometimes I meet the same people again, and sometimes it even turns into something more (like a new friend). The last thing doesn't happen often, but it has.
As far as groups...why? I have no use for more than one.
suikeisuru
Don Juan
I'm new to the club scene and so far have went solo one which was last week Saturday and it was.........GREAT! Seriouslly guys, as long as you put your mind to it and start hitting off girls right away, you'll have nothing to worry about. Literally as soon as I was in the club, I opened on a set and since they were so-so in the looks, I used them as pawns to open another 2 set.
Even before I got to the club I was hitting on sets in the street.
I guess you could say I was 'alone' just for the 5 minute walk from my car to the main street.
Even before I got to the club I was hitting on sets in the street.
I guess you could say I was 'alone' just for the 5 minute walk from my car to the main street.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
I don't think you do have a valid excuse with any serious merit. Being afraid of that is just more fear, a feeling that is rarely useful.reset said:For myself there's the whole stigma of what you think people are thinking about you. The key is to not give a crap what anyone thinks about you under any circumstances.
I haven't gone out alone for a long time, but it's something I'm working on.
I guess before, I figured someone would look at me and think there's something wrong with me "why is he alone?"
The funny thing about clubs, is I haven't gone to one alone. I've thought about it, but haven't had the courage yet. I only go if my buddies are going.
But just about every time I go to a club, have a couple drinks and start feeling the music, I cruise the club by myself. I get high off all the energy, girls, the music, and it's something I have to experience by myself. Then I'll go out on the dancefloor, alone, while my friends are just standing at the bar, nodding their heads back and forth at the beat.
I'm not a "club guy" but everytime I DO go, I think this is the type of place I always want to be. So, why don't I go alone? I don't have an excuse for that anymore. The only reason is, so people won't think I'm weird or a loner or something. But take that out of the mix, and there aren't any good answers.
Once, and only once did someone actually ask me "Do you have any friends?" Other than that, no one has ever asked me about it. If they think I'm less of a man for going alone, I don't care. In a sense, I'm more of a man because I don't have this fear. I've discovered that being analytical about this sort of thing just makes you fearful and a worry-wort.
I think you should try it a couple times. If you really don't like it, you don't have to do it again. I think it's fear of the unknown, because you've never done it before. It's probably why I'm not the best with approaches, though I'm working on that.
As for the stigma, don't worry about it. I've only been called out on it once. Sometimes people ask me if I'm alone, but they don't react negatively if I say yes.
I think it depends on what type of bar you go to. If it's sports bar/or where bands play, I don't see the problem. I also notice girls are willing to come up to me when I'm alone when I visit some of the bars that have live rock music... I see guys go to sports bars alone all the time but I don't think they're there to hit on women. There's plenty of bars that have pool tables/etc. that guys are there alone, it's not creepy. I wouldn't go to a night club alone. I don't like night clubs to begin with.