"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Is it just me, or are we all worrying too much?

MooseGod

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
785
Reaction score
11
Location
The Paradise City where the grass is green and the
It seems like everybody on here is way too worried about finding a girl, whether for a LTR or a FB or whatever. MEN in the old days worried about securing their future, their finances, and gaining as much political/business/military power as possible. Then, once their wars were fought and fortunes were made, they would pick out a wife and raise a family, mainly so they would have a son to carry on the family name or help out on the farm/run the business.

I understand it's only human to crave sex and intimacy, but is most of this just societal conditioning? I mean, I had GFs and hooked up with girls before my last LTR, but until then I didn't worry about picking up chicks or dating every hottie I saw...I just did my thing and didn't think twice about it. After being in a LTR for almost a year and a half, I had to hear about my ex's friends and their dating misadventures, her ideas on relationships, yada yada yada. I got really depressed after we broke up because I thought I'd made a big mistake, but she wanted me to compromise my life goals. I'm thinking I just got caught up in the girl frame of mind as far as dating goes, instead of going on my merry way.

More and more, I think the way to go is just to do whatever the hell it is you do and not worry about what is outside of your control. What do you all think?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

DonJoseCantosie

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2007
Messages
839
Reaction score
11
Thats the thing u can't stop "worrying" or "Overthinking". Its in our nature. But we can do is "reduce" it. We could stop worrying, but that won't work because we'll think about it even more. Guys still in the old days worried about these things, just that they weren't open about it as they are now. Sure, they got a wife and a family...but what about before then? I say still go out in the field getting what u want, while ur in that state. It'll naturally reduce that way. :)
 

DonJuan11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
1,667
Reaction score
35
MooseGod said:
I think the way to go is just to do whatever the hell it is you do and not worry about what is outside of your control. What do you all think?
You are 110% right, but you have to remember the people who you are preaching to on this site. When alot of them haven't kissed or slept with a girl, it's not easy to tell them "do your own thing and not worry about things outside of your control." It's like telling the person who can't pay rent "Money isn't important, its personality that matters."

People get angry when they put in hours and hours of work to get a girl while the 6'1 hockey player just has to yawn and the girl gets weak knees.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
2,609
Reaction score
135
Location
Florida
I bumped Pook's "Kill that Desperation" post in the DJ Tips section.
 

LostAndConfused

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2007
Messages
1,137
Reaction score
11
DonJuan11 said:
You are 110% right, but you have to remember the people who you are preaching to on this site. When alot of them haven't kissed or slept with a girl, it's not easy to tell them "do your own thing and not worry about things outside of your control." It's like telling the person who can't pay rent "Money isn't important, its personality that matters."

People get angry when they put in hours and hours of work to get a girl while the 6'1 hockey player just has to yawn and the girl gets weak knees.
Ace post. Nothing needs to be said more here.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

duke007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2003
Messages
765
Reaction score
0
Age
42
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I agree with you about worrying too much....the moment I stopped planning/thinking to extremes I found more success.

But even so, I can't agree with your "old days" argument. Times have changed.

Women were socially conditioned to NEED men. Much easier for a man to work on his career/education and then "pick" a wife from a nice family. Women back then believed their single role was to make their husband happy.

Now with feminism so entrenched and the f*cked up state of modern society, you'll get nowhere if you hang back to pick a wife. Women are much more independent.

Also 50s and 60s dudes didn't always find a compatible wife that rocked their world. You got married and that was that...

What I'm saying is just give equal weight to career/education/women/interests. Being balanced is key to a successful life
 

The Bat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 12, 2007
Messages
1,017
Reaction score
60
You make a strong arguement. It's all about developing and following the passions in your life.

If you ask men in their 40s and on about whether there is anything in their life they wish could've been different, all of their answers will have one thing in common. They will NOT include dating/flirting/seducing women. You won't find an older man telling you that he wished he would've been able to approach women better. He won't tell you that he wished he would've been a pick up artist.

They will all tell you something related to their career, education, finances, health, lifestyle, hobbies, etc.

I think today's men have just lost sense of where their true passion in life should be. It is the woman's passion that lies within the man. Not the other way around, as seen here sometimes.
 

The Deacon

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Messages
452
Reaction score
7
Location
Utah
Moose, you're speaking about the good ol' days, when there wasn't this "sameness" that plagued the relationships with men and women today. The whole idea that men and women are created equal is a noble one, but it has some ill effects on sexuality. Right now, men are encouraged to be more emotional and act more feminine, and women vice versa. Men are biologically programmed to be sexually attracted to feminine women. Women are biologically programmed to be sexually attracted to masculine men.

Nowadays, we have emo boys, sensitivos, and emotional tampons that are anything but masculine. There's a shortage of men in this world now. The Book of Pook is simply a book that wants to restore us to our original masculine state, a book of "masculine conservatism," if you will. It's typically not a woman's monetary success that draws a man towards her, neither is it typically a man's looks that draws a woman to marry him. There has to be some masculinity/femininity in the equation or the sex drives will not function the way they're supposed to.

Anyway, great post. I just love posting my two cents.
 

Jon55

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
Messages
509
Reaction score
3
I know what the OP is saying. It feels like the more stuff I read on this site (or read/watch/listen to having anything to with getting girls, the game, etc....David Deangelo and whatnot) the more scatter-brained I become and forget that it shouldn't be this hard.

Its like I start trying way too hard. It's hard to describe. I let it all get to my head. Sometimes I feel like the tips on getting girls actually does more bad than good (for me anyway).

The tips on masculinity and whatnot are spot on. They have helped me grow as a person, which is fantastic! But seeing all these tips on doing this, and saying that around women? I don't know...I'm starting to get skeptical about all of it.

I used to do perfectly fine, till my childish attitude got in the way. But this place (and many good role model friends through observation) helped me change that. I had the right idea and personality, but my maturity level need work. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all the tips on women are bad, just....meh...

I'm sure someone's gonna get offended by this.
 
Top