Is it good to "act like a prize ?"


Don Juan
Jul 2, 2019
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This concept has been around for a long time in the “seduction community”. A lot of men who are interested in seduction have also read the book Real World Seduction.

Actually, I’ve seen healthy and non healthy interpretations of what Prizing really is. Prizing is often described as taking the role of the prize to be obtained by women because this is generally the role society gives to women naturally. “They are the prize and men are the chasers”. A man becoming the prize, or the alpha male, or the leader of his tribe, or whatever funny name you want to give it, is therefore the reverse. That is the basic idea.

Now what is my version of what prizing really is ?

Well, first of all I would say this is not really about “prizing” anybody in itself, it is more about Caring about yourself first. Way too much people are forgetting and letting sacrificing their own well being in order to please others. It is true at work, as it is true in family, and it is unfortunately also true in relationships. Someone trying to please you by every means, especially when he tries to get your validation at the detriment of his own well being, is highly unattractive, and pushes people to respect you much less. Have you already seen any movie, tv show or real life event where a guy is desperately obsessed by some woman and tries to offer flowers, to send poems or whatever gift in hope she will respond whereas she barely pays attention ? That’s the absolute definition of unattractive and needy.

I want your attention here because this is important: You are constantly teaching people how to treat you. People will always respect you at the level you respect yourself. If you don’t care about yourself to the point where you sacrifice your money, your time and your energy to please someone else, you would never earn any respect from others, even less the person you’re trying to impress.

On the opposite side of course, when you engage into activities you are passionate about, and invest in those first, people will start to respect you more, partly because you will be less accessible. Being driven by your own goals and your own passions with no apologies is something others will always admire in you.

My healthy definition of "being the prize" is therefore to care about yourself before you care about others. Sacrificing yourself is an extreme behavior that, in my opinion, should only be used when you want to protect your child or someone of the same closeness. It should never be used to seduce in the first place. Have you ever noticed all those nasty dependent behaviors:

“If I wear that, will he notice me ?”

“If I talk about that, will she want to go out with me ?”

“Maybe I have to get bigger muscles, that way girls will pay attention”

“If I get bigger boobs, he will love me more”

All those thoughts come out of deep insecurity. Trying to “act” as the prize is bull**** if you are super insecure inside. People embracing their passions and dreams with no apology are natural “prizes”.

When I see people in a relationship, and one of them is treating his/her partner like garbage, I feel like puking. I used to think that in a relationship, a man should never let himself be treated poorly by his lady and be firm about it. But as I grew older and became more mature, I realized it was very ugly in both ways.

Whatever gender you are, you should never let your partner treat you like garbage. You may think that it’s normal to suffer so much in a relationship, that you have to sacrifice yourself in order to make the other happy. But when someone yells at you, insults you or takes it out on you, just because you happen to be there at the wrong moment; then it is your responsibility to react. If you don’t react, you’re teaching that person that you are indeed no more useful than a used towel. One of the greatest gifts you can give to your partner is to actually teach this person what your boundaries are. By knowing each other’s boundaries, you can start living a much happier relationship.

Of course, deep insecurity can come out of traumas, deep emotional pain, heartbreak, past hurts, the list goes on and on. In which case I would recommend some healing practice like meditation or hypnosis. Also, these kind of mind bending techniques are by far by far the first choice I recommend in order to implement new beliefs and attitudes that will allow you to become a “prize” mentally. You don’t need a hundred women in your bed to feel as a prize, simple mind techniques can shift the focus of your attention. For instance that means that when you’ll be looking at a beautiful woman, you won’t be thinking any more “does she like guys like me” but instead “Can she really add something to my life that I don’t already have ?” Those kind of thoughts are automatically reflected on your non verbal behaviors and the result is exactly what women describe as “oh he’s got this little something confidence that’s so hot !”

Here is my version of “prizing” attitudes that allowed me to stop feeling insecure with beautiful women; I developed those beliefs myself through experience.

- Pickup is a game for me, I enjoy myself and laugh whatever reactions I provoke around me.

- It is my absolute right to be bold and audacious and to do things that contradict social norms. If someone doesn’t like that, too bad for him.

- A woman must prove her value to me before I accept to be intimate with her.

- I only chose women who realize they’re lucky to be with me. All the others don’t deserve me.

- Whatever opinion or reaction a woman may have toward me, I’m still irresistible, and I’ll always find better than her somewhere else.

- A woman is lucky that I approach her, if she doesn’t seize that opportunity, too bad for her.

- I totally accept my sexual desires and it is my absolute right to do so.

- Whatever mental state a woman is into, I can always guide her through a new state.

Some of these phrases might seem arrogant. The point is, when you can do more, you can do less too. Going as far as “I only chose women who realize it’s a privilege to be with me” is not a necessary attitude with everybody. Some women are really kind and smart and will be interested by you as long as you are kind too and not insulting. But some women like to act really bitchy and think of themselves as total princesses, with these ones, you can let some arrogance come out, otherwise they will just make you fall into the category of “another one trying to pick me up”.

There’s not really any rule about which woman to act more dominant with. I would recommend to train yourself to be as dominant as possible, then when you are surrounded with women, experience by itself will teach you when to lower your “dominant” side and when heighten it. Some women can be really scared by a man too dominant. The best way to calibrate to who’s attracted by what is to be exposed to real life situations with women.

Do you agree or disagree ? What is your opinion on that ?


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Master Don Juan
Aug 27, 2015
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It simply means you value yourself. If you value yourself you wont accept certain types of treatment. If you value yourself you expect good things for yourself.