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Is it ever OK to say I LOVE YOU first?
- Thread starter Trent
- Start date
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
SoSuave.com
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Moved to Archive. Reply there.
Donnell Juan's RamPaGe
Don Juan
There are great advantages to lying and saying you love her.
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There are NO advantages to lying about loving someone. Either she will dump you like a bad habit or she will start to get clingy with u, start talking about marriage and all and try to put u in chains. if she finds out u lied she will be emotionally devastated and will probably get rid of u- unless that is ur intentions, there are no advantages to lying about love.
Saying the "L" word first is detrimental. I was going with a chick for a month said the phrase and two weeks later I'm out. The girl I'm with now, I haven't said i love u and don't feel love for her and we have been together for 3 months.
My roommate told his girl I Love u after a week of dating and now he is miserable in his LTR. She wants to marry him NOW- he is only 20!!. She is very insecure. Don't say it first!
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There are NO advantages to lying about loving someone. Either she will dump you like a bad habit or she will start to get clingy with u, start talking about marriage and all and try to put u in chains. if she finds out u lied she will be emotionally devastated and will probably get rid of u- unless that is ur intentions, there are no advantages to lying about love.
Saying the "L" word first is detrimental. I was going with a chick for a month said the phrase and two weeks later I'm out. The girl I'm with now, I haven't said i love u and don't feel love for her and we have been together for 3 months.
My roommate told his girl I Love u after a week of dating and now he is miserable in his LTR. She wants to marry him NOW- he is only 20!!. She is very insecure. Don't say it first!
disciple
Senior Don Juan
NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Never say that first. Let her tell you that first.
kickureface
Master Don Juan
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canyou guys give more reasons/examples why not to say it first? i think i'm getting the gist, just would rather be more sure.
and if its a while and she doesnt say it, what do you do?
and if its a while and she doesnt say it, what do you do?
Remulak
Senior Don Juan
Your challenge goes through the window if you say "I love you" first. Don't get all emotional like a bytch...She'll know she has you by the balls. You'll become another boy to her that lost control of his emotions and fell too easily to her.
mexican_player2
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a girl once told me that she loved me and i told her ***** i love me too!
Ace of Flames
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First time she says that she loves you, go all Han Solo on her. Pause for a second, looking right into her eyes, and then say "...I know."
Then you can wait for a few days, weeks, however long you want, and say it on your terms. Say it when you're ready.
Then you can wait for a few days, weeks, however long you want, and say it on your terms. Say it when you're ready.
April_Infinite
Don Juan
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This is all nice and all, but you aren't giving many reasons how you get her to say I love you first. Believe me, I tend to like the cute, shy girls, and you will never get them to say I love you first. So, can someone explain how you would cause someone like that to say I love you to you first? I don't see it happening with those kind of girls.
donjuanjovi
Senior Don Juan
Do what I do and don't say it at all. If she says it first than I dump her. I don't have time to deal with emotional sh1t. If she loves me great, if not who cares? Insecurity isn't very attractive to men or women. :box:
brain
New Member
Don't jump the gun gun man! 5 months may have seem like a long time but in the long run it really isn't. I doubt that there is a quicker way to scare a girl away, besides if you say it first it kinda makes you the b**** in the situation. It would be like a gazelle walking up to a lion, laying down and exposing its neck.Trent said:
Warboss Alex
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Of course it's okay.. sometimes I worry about you guys.
Actually, I often do.
Actually, I often do.
I said it first to my girlfriend. She said it sent her weak at the knees and she'd been waiting to hear it for ages, but was too afraid to say it herself.
That was about 5 months ago and it never did our relationship any harm. We're still together and I'm still the man in the relationship.
Problem on this forum is guys confuse MUTUAL attraction/affection for one-sided AFC infatuation. In the latter case ANY display of affection is a bad move!
That was about 5 months ago and it never did our relationship any harm. We're still together and I'm still the man in the relationship.
Problem on this forum is guys confuse MUTUAL attraction/affection for one-sided AFC infatuation. In the latter case ANY display of affection is a bad move!
Warboss Alex
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To be honest I find threads like this quite pathetic, really. What, are we suddenly not supposed to have feelings because we're don juans? We're not supposed to be in love and admit it? Screw that. I'd rather be 'AFC' and human.Shezz said:See...thats why you belong in Health and Fitness...
Sarge On...
Warboss Alex
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Shezz,
For you young guys who like to think they're the next casanova it's fine to think that. But also ask yourselves why you have trouble getting laid. lol.
Me, I've been with my missus for six years, had PLENTY of girlfriends before that (some of them who were after my body admittedly), and I didn't have a clue what 'game' was. I don't know what IOI means nor do I care.
I think this whole thing is f-cked, quite frankly. But it's funny too.
(I do believe that a man can be in command of his feelings and 'pour his heart out' to someone he cares for without being a sap though..)
For you young guys who like to think they're the next casanova it's fine to think that. But also ask yourselves why you have trouble getting laid. lol.
Me, I've been with my missus for six years, had PLENTY of girlfriends before that (some of them who were after my body admittedly), and I didn't have a clue what 'game' was. I don't know what IOI means nor do I care.
I think this whole thing is f-cked, quite frankly. But it's funny too.
(I do believe that a man can be in command of his feelings and 'pour his heart out' to someone he cares for without being a sap though..)
Warboss Alex
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ps - please get that squat up. lol.
Warboss Alex
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okay, maybe I'm just lucky.. me and my girl have always been 100% open about our feelings for each other, right before we were even going out - we both shared the belief that honesty's the best policy.
does that take away from the 'thrill' or the 'danger'? like f-ck it does. we're exclusively monogamous AND our sex life is nothing short of incredible .. and I attribute that to the feelings involved. but hey, everyone's different.
no point in continuing this conversation.
does that take away from the 'thrill' or the 'danger'? like f-ck it does. we're exclusively monogamous AND our sex life is nothing short of incredible .. and I attribute that to the feelings involved. but hey, everyone's different.
no point in continuing this conversation.
There is no good reason to stop you from saying it, as long as you mean it.
A lot of the negative views bought out in this thread are based on fear. Fear that the woman will use your love declaration against you. Is a Don Juan scared of a woman's powers? I sincerely hope the answer is no.
If you mean it, and you are sure it will not create an akward situation, by all means say it. It only relinquishes your power within the relationship if you let it.
Just because we have balls, doesn't mean we have to pretend to not have emotions.
A lot of the negative views bought out in this thread are based on fear. Fear that the woman will use your love declaration against you. Is a Don Juan scared of a woman's powers? I sincerely hope the answer is no.
If you mean it, and you are sure it will not create an akward situation, by all means say it. It only relinquishes your power within the relationship if you let it.
Just because we have balls, doesn't mean we have to pretend to not have emotions.
Warboss Alex
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Killa, good point.
what.. so you guys don't say I love you, because you're afraid it'll somehow give the woman more power? you relinquish your stranglehold on the relationship which should be 50:50 power anyway?
this screams insecurity. are you not even secure in your feelings?
I'd say a woman would appreciate a man who's secure enough in his emotions to display them.
what.. so you guys don't say I love you, because you're afraid it'll somehow give the woman more power? you relinquish your stranglehold on the relationship which should be 50:50 power anyway?
this screams insecurity. are you not even secure in your feelings?
I'd say a woman would appreciate a man who's secure enough in his emotions to display them.