Is it difficult to date if you are "frugal"?

[MatureDJ]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/21/your-money/21money.html?src=me&ref=business

I try to pre-qualify my potential girlfriends by mentioning that I am a bit of a cheapskate. I think it helps to weed out the professional daters and gold-diggers.

 

[jophil28]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/21/your-money/21money.html?src=me&ref=business

I try to pre-qualify my potential girlfriends by mentioning that I am a bit of a cheapskate. I think it helps to weed out the professional daters and gold-diggers.

Hmmm, lets flip that upside down. What would you think of a woman who mentioned, on the first date, that she was " a bit frigid " - to weed out the poonhounds.

 

[Razor Sharp]

To directly answer your question.. NO*

*Assuming that you have the proper skills to convey other forms of value

Even the gold-diggers out there can't resist a man who just plain excites them. Knowing how to excite women, psychologically, emotionally and physically - will get you a LOT farther in the game, than simply having your assets in order.

I won't deny that riches can help certain fellas - but then you have to deal with a whole different problem - which one of these hoes really likes you, and which ones just like your money?

Also, I think its mad corny to set financial ground rules on a first date. She should get the picture based on the activities you choose. If you take her out to some fancy restaurant, followed by some ritzy show on your dollar, then that tells her you are willing to throw your money away on a stranger. Hardly the actions of a man with options on his plate.

Furthermore you'd have a harder time exciting her as the date idea is horridly predictable. Two people eating and talking is hardly worth telling her friends about, and you better bring your conversational A-Game if you want to get her juices flowing.

However,

If you know your city well enough to take her to the hundreds of free attractions (parks, museums, landscapes, historical locations), then you can give her a whole different experience. You can teach her something, open up her world to new possibilities or just enjoy something different. Already you've distinguished yourself from the hordes of suitors standing in line with flowers, teddy bears and reservations at Red Lobster.

In conclusion I find your question very humorous, because personally I find that being frugal actually HELPS my game more than anything

> Filter out gold diggers
> Invest small, gain big
> Set myself apart in her mind
> Win points for creativity
> Anchor my presence in her head*

* What I mean by this is that anytime she passes a place we have checked out she will always think of me. This is why I LOVE walking dates. We cover a lot of ground and in a sense I mark my territory in her sub-conscious mind.

Man I shouldn't even be telling anyone this. It's been my secret weapon for years now.

 

[Lexington]

You get around this by not "dating" per se. Most people assume that a date must involve typical date-like activities such as going to a restaurant or going to the movies etc. Basically, the guy must incur some sort of expense.

There are plenty of other cheaper (or even free) alternatives that accomplish the purpose of a date, which is to get to know the other person. Heck, even a walk in the park can do the trick. Taking her out to a nice restaurant isn't going to make her more attracted to you. Hell even gold diggers can figure out how wealthy you are without you having to spend money on them.

 

[Warrior74]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc

 

[Falcon25]

There are two types of men that I will NEVER be friends with; 1) the one who has no loyalty to his friends or family 2) one's who are cheap

If you are cheap, you are a piece of shivt and I want nothing to do with you. It is the lowest character trait a man can have. There is nothing worse than having a friend that is cheap, I can only imagine how women feel.

 

[Trader]

There are two types of men that I will NEVER be friends with; 1) the one who has no loyalty to his friends or family 2) one's who are cheap

If you are cheap, you are a piece of shivt and I want nothing to do with you. It is the lowest character trait a man can have. There is nothing worse than having a friend that is cheap, I can only imagine how women feel.

Define *cheap*

 

[Warrior74]

There are two types of men that I will NEVER be friends with; 1) the one who has no loyalty to his friends or family 2) one's who are cheap

If you are cheap, you are a piece of shivt and I want nothing to do with you. It is the lowest character trait a man can have. There is nothing worse than having a friend that is cheap, I can only imagine how women feel.

cheap = having it and not wanting to spend it.
broke = not having it.

Women don't know/care about the difference for the most part.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear MatureDJ,
Your presumably humble background has made you what you are and the values you hold are those that made your Nation great,I respect you......As for Falcon and his cutting remarks,if the boats carrying all his goodies stopped coming from Europe and Japan,I know who I would back in the survival Stakes.......Having said that it must be said that you will be restricted in the range of Ladies you may chose from,maybe only 1% of the ladies who frequent Pubs and bars,but maybe 20% of the general population...That's still a swag of girls,just don't waste your time on clubs and bars....Razor sharp has a very wise and helpful contribution,read it carefully....As time passes by,if you stick at it you will become a wealthy Man,and Women will gravitate towards the inevitable signs of your possessions....Example:About ten years ago I built an enormous 3 and a half storey mansion by a Lake in my Home Town,because of constant theft I virtually lived there,as I plugged away at finishing it....To cut a long story short,The place backing onto a well frequented walk round the waters edge,many people wondered through the place and the Women in particular were impressed not just with this Home which was lovely,but surprisingly with me,I probably could have picked up a Woman a week.....One beautiful girl really stood out,she was a young tourist,a classic English Rose,about 26.I gave her a conducted tour and then as she was leaving We stood by a staircase looking at the Lake and she stared up at me and said "You know you have the most beautiful blue eyes,but I suppose many Women have told you that before?""Thanks", I replied,"Yours are rather nice too",she reached for my hand and said"You know I would give anything,anything to live in a house like this"...Sadly that was as far as it went,but if you are in a similar situation,by following the advice on this forum,you will enjoy maybe 3 or 4 months of bliss.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Going out and spending money on dates isn't really a necessary step in attracting women. In fact, I'd say it takes you further from your goal.

If you go out on a date to a neutral location and then go your separate rs., a lot of the interest you build is going to be lost. You want to get her to your place, or you to hers.

Of course, many women won't accept a stranger's invitation to come to his place, but you can suggest things like cooking a meal together, or doing something outdoors near your house.

When you do get stuck going on a date, you can always "quit" drinking. Most women won't judge you, although they might be more hesitant to drink themselves.

Also, being creative and spontaneous will go MUCH further than money. If she's having fun, she won't care that you live in a van. Don't use consumerism as a crutch; taking a girl on a traditional "date" seems forced.

 

[vatoloco]

If you are cheap, you are a piece of shivt and I want nothing to do with you. It is the lowest character trait a man can have. There is nothing worse than having a friend that is cheap, I can only imagine how women feel.

Are you a generous man with your friends as well? One can only expect people to be generous with them only if you're a generous person as well...

 

[mrRuckus]

cheap = having it and not wanting to spend it.
broke = not having it.

Not broke = because you don't waste it on worthless, meaningless sh1t and bimbos.

 

[Zonder]

Hmmm, lets flip that upside down. What would you think of a woman who mentioned, on the first date, that she was " a bit frigid " - to weed out the poonhounds.

Brilliant on so many levels. That's the only answer you'll ever need.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Are you a generous man with your friends as well? One can only expect people to be generous with them only if you're a generous person as well...

If you notice... Gold-diggers always state they're looking for a generous man.

falcon is getting worked up over cheap friends because he's taker. There's nothing he can take from them

 

[Falcon25]

If you notice... Gold-diggers always state they're looking for a generous man.

falcon is getting worked up over cheap friends because he's taker. There's nothing he can take from them

I don't take anything from men. I refuse to be friends with a man who can't buy himself or his friends drinks, who leeches off his friends or family, especially when he has the money. I have my standards, I do not associate, relate to, or be friends with cheap men. NEVER. Peace.

 

[stayfly]

cheap and frugal are different

and you can be frugal and still get chicks. definitely.

 

[blackomen]

If you wanna spend big bucks on a women, get a hooker.. at least your lay is guaranteed.

But when it comes to dating.. frugal all the way! (but not cheap)

i.e. Paying for her dinner at a low-mid end restaurant can still be frugal.. spending $100+ on the first meeting on expensive gifts and such is NOT.

 

[Todd Preston]

99% of the women you will encounter...are Hoes... (that means they spread their legs for a man with money).

Get used to it !

 

[J Roc]

Keep your money in your money and stop wasting on these hoes!

 

[HalfAddict]

How is having it and not wanting to spend it a negative trait?

So someone cares more about their financial security and less about frugal useless crap, and he is not worthy?

Absolutely silly. You Falcon are a douchebag, and I have an inkling you are the cheapskate.