Is it Black Pill to think that every woman in a LTR/Marriage settled

[CornbreadFed]

To my knowledge, most of my exes are either engaged or married. If I wanted to, I could get them to cheat on their spouse for me. Fortunately, I will not because I’ve moved on from those relationships and have more productive goals and endeavors to pursue. However, The guy is completely unaware of this and thinks he married the love his life. Since women get so much attention from men, they can be in the position of wanting of what they cannot or couldn’t have.

 

[BPH]

I don't think that's exclusive to women.

For example, I have a friend who told me he felt pressured to propose to his girl and wasn't sure if she was the one - but he knew SHE wanted it and felt like he should.

They are now married and have a kid. Whether or not he's happy about it behind closed doors, who knows...

 

[The Duke]

I've had two of those. Makes me shake my head when I think about it. Def a lot of people settle and develop regret that they often hide.

 

[Clockwerk50]

A person cheats only when two factors align: opportunity and reason. Opportunity is
straightforward, but there are tons of reasons ranging from emotional neglect, resentment, and unmet needs to an ego boost or a craving for validation.

You could debate that men often have more internal reasons to cheat but fewer opportunities, while women have tons of opportunities due to male attention, but fewer reasons to act on them.

Nonetheless, even if you think that every woman in an LTR or marriage settled, the two factors still have to align for each individual person. The reality is, unless these women have a personal, active reason within themselves to do it, opportunity alone won't make them cross that line.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@CornbreadFed "If I wanted to, I could get them to cheat on their spouse for me"

What's your basis for this conclusion?


@The Duke "Makes me shake my head when I think about it. Def a lot of people settle and develop regret that they often hide"

Similar to what's said here 34:00-35:22

Spend half an hour with almost someone who APPEARS to be living the proverbial dream, dig beneath the surface of that facade, and you'll more often not discover that things aren't going especially well

 

[zekko]

I don't think it's black pill to think "Every woman in a marriage settled"..
I think it's a PUA myth. PUA types set themselves up (in their head) as the only desirable men on the planet.
Which is not to say it never happens, or even that it's rare.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Exceptions make the rules

 

[Hal9000]

It really depends on how you define settle. If you are waiting for the perfect woman/man and refuse to accept anything else then you're likely to never settle down with anyone. If you have a list of expectations of say 10 things and you end up with someone who fulfills 8 or 9 of them are you settling or just being realistic about the human race in that nobody will ever be perfect for the years or decades you may end up together?

I think we've all known people who settled by basically just giving up and shacking up with whoever was available at that time, no matter how terrible they may be. However thats a lot different than admitting the perfect person, who will stay perfect for 30 years, may not be out there roaming the planet and you'd rather take a chance on someone that checks 90% of your boxes instead.