is it better to show interest?

[DJHoolahoop]

hey everyone,

i had a thought about something. there is currently one girl i've been meaning to become exclusive with as it was brought up and i asked her honestly if she was interested in dating solely or dating more than one, and she said solely. and now i'm wondering if the sort of self-control i've been practicing with her is a good one. as i feel that having self-control shows that i'm not trying to be a nice guy chump to gain her approval and date. and my friend brought up the fact that if you want to hang out with them, then there's no need for self-control because regardless of what they tell you or want from you that wanting to follow through with it doesn't show you're catering to them or appealing to them.

so what do i do? because i want to show more interest and find more ways of being with her, but i don't want it to go to sh*t because i appeared to clingy. any advice?

 

[DonJuanByNature]

Here it is for you!!!

so what do i do? because i want to show more interest and find more ways of being with her, but i don't want it to go to sh*t because i appeared to clingy. any advice?

I am glad you braught this up....

okay listen...

There is nothing wrong with showing a girl you care, or your interest in her, or that you even "adore" her... it is only wrong when your not recipricated or she doesnt aknowledge it or she doesnt respond as you wanted her and you still continue to do so...

i.e. if you think this girl is hot and you have a date and you impress her with flowers and night restarant and great dinner and tell her how she rocks your world, and then all of a sudden she disapears for like 3 days.. well.. u have an answer, next the btch ... uknow... cause either u care more then she does or she was unsure, in either case, it is what it is (Im not saying rush to things that was an example)....

I was recently chilling with a Vegas show girl (yes, hot 10) and i gently combed her hair, looked into her eyes with my pupyy eyes (that is meaning it was obvious i was drooling) and u know what, she gave it back to me... well she was also older and more experienced and knew to appreciate it when a dominant male like me is willing to give in...

The point is ... DONT BE AFRAID... i.e. in the end be yourself (i.e. if you liked a girl on the street and wanted her, but didnt say hello to her, u actually wasnt urself cause "urself" wanted to fck her lol, simmilary if you want a girl as a gf then go for it, but dont lie to yourself if she not the material) and tell her how it is.. but dont get caught up in bs.... either yay or nay.. dont fantasize..

I also want to quote someone of sosuave.. but dont have the link.. someone said there is an equation for suffereing.. it is S=A-B
S=Suffering
A=How much you are into her
B=How much she is into you

If Greater then 0 you are suffering or will suffer...

 

[DJHoolahoop]

and that's where the confusion was. me wanting to be closer to her and show I care, i mistook being mysterious and a challenge for creating distance. i couldn't tell if it would end up being too much or if its fine so long as you aren't compromising yourself to cater to her. because while i enjoy her company a lot, i also have to worry about not going too far off my path and forgetting about going to the gym, hanging out with friends and my hobies.

in this case now, i'm more inclined to not intentionally hold back for the sake of having control, but will stay on top of myself should things go sour.

thanks for the advice mate, and now i am curious to know where this has benefited others out there. had anyone ruined potential relationships because they seemed too distant or unmovable like a wall?

 

[Radiance]

I'll try and keep this short and simple.

There's nothing wrong with letting a girl know you care about her. You just can't over do it. If you are giving MORE than she is, or vice versa then we have a problem. It works like a balance beam, you both have to be giving the same amount. If one of you goes over.. well, that's when relationships turn to ****.

Here's advice I got from a girl that actually know what she's talking about. She says she likes it when guys are kind of an *******.. like ignoring and being rude for a couple days, then suddenly suprise her at work or something with flowers.

A very good pushpull to try if you think your relationship isnt going too well.

But then again, usually when relationships are bad it's too late and she will probably enjoy the time alone more than despising it. None the less, if you want more "power" like if you are ever feel like you are kind of losing the upper hand, try this.