"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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is it better to set up a date in person than over the phone?

drift_king

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is it better to set up a date in person rather than on the phone?

this girl i messed things up with: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=166867

i see her on campus all the time cos we go to all the same places to eat etc so i have been avoiding going to them since i cleared the air with her last friday.

however it's been a week since that so she might have forgotten all about it and the good feelings she felt at the time, i've been ill the past 2 days so i haven't called to set up the meeting with her cos i wanted to be on top form, am i better off setting up the date with her in person?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Giles

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Dude you see her around lunch a lot? Well **** all you gotta do is talk to her. Run game but don't ask her out. If she's at lunch go sit with her and bring up an interesting topic but don't act like you're trying to just be her friend show value as a man don't stay for long periods of time leave before they do. Do it for like the next week or so and then suggest you go somewhere else to eat to isolate her from her friends. Then caveman her on the way.
 

drift_king

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well i made the call and she didnt pick up.

did i leave it too long?

anything could have happened over the past week and its been 7 days since i had that conversation with her.
 

Giles

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Don't worry about it. Just leave her on he back burner and maybe she'll contact you and if not oh well.
 

dj_china

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hm...I actually think a week is too short.
if what I understand is correct - your mistake was being too AFC?

I think the best solution to that is to just withdraw completely and start from a blank slate. if you pick up too soon she'll still consider you AFC

also, in the case you were being AFC, I think the best thing to do is wait for a n accidental run-in with her maybe 2 weeks later, then casually suggest something fun. you can escalate from there, and it will seem like you forgot about her during the time period (busy, dhv).
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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