Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Is it bad when an LTR starts calling you her best friend?

governor

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The title of the thread says it all really...

I've been in a situation where, after 7 months, we'd both said we loved each other, our sex life hadn't in anyway worsened, but she made a point of telling me that she considered me her best friend. And would always begin her toasts to me with "to my best friend, to my lover, blah blah."

Is this something to watch out for, i.e a sign that they could be losing attraction to you and the physical signs have simply not yet manifested themselves? Or is it simply a case where a girl has decided she is well and truly in love with you?

NB: this is at a stage where marriage or a live-in relationship would not be considered (late teens/early 20's). Also this has happened to me about three times. In all cases I was the one to end the relationship in the end, but who knows had the relationship continued...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Miguel

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Mmmmm, I got two opions on this, but It's fifty/fifty...

First one. You're right, attraction is gone, get ready to run away into another relationship. (also, avoid them onities before it comes by going out and meeting other women.)

Second one, it could mean that she actually likes you as a person as well as a relationship. Ever notice how long lasting marriages tend to have partners who act like best friends?

Either way, I just reccomend not jumping to conclusions and actually stopping to THINK about what you want. This girl might be messing with you or LJBF you in her own way, but she could also be getting into you in a deep way.
 

ChapStick

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NO!! she's just trying to be sweet! It's what girls do to show that they are loyal to you... She hasn't lost attraction for you! I've had a girl tell me once how she felt so loved when her boyfriend of 2 years told her, "You are not only my girlfriend, but you are my best friend!"

Did her boyfriend lose attraction for her? No! I think it's very special that your girlfriend has said that to you, and you shouldn't look at it as a bad sign. Stop being so insecure and looking at something that is a good thing, and assuming the worst.
 

MKS82

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Esentially u are a best friend and she is ur best friend. The only difference is ur boning
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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brewbaron

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yeah, I'd have to agree its more than likely a good thing. my LTR says I'm her best friend and shes absolutely smitten with me, so there you go :p
 

SomethingClever

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If you guys aren't fvcking and she says that, then it's a bad thing. But since you guys are, it's alright. It's actually a really good thing because the LTR's that work the best are the ones where the couples are actually compatible and have something in common other than sex.

Oh and what Don Gorgon said isn't a bad idea. I'd look into that if i were you
 

governor

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Sweet,

thanks for the responses guys.

I myself was leaning towards the positive side just wanted to make sure I wasn't putting my foot in it!
 

Effington

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I don't understand why anyone would think this is a bad thing. It's a very good thing.

The only time it's bad to hear that is if you're -just- a friend, and not sleeping with each other, because it'd be a sign you're going to stay just a friend and nothing more.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Metaphysical

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It's a great thing if you guys love each other and there's already a connection there. Being best friends with the woman you love is an amazing feeling. It's probabily the greatest thing you can achieve with a woman.

Let's be serious.. you don't want to be 60 years old and fighting with your woman arguing over dumb stuff. If you are best friends with her then you get along with her great and that's very important for a RELATIONSHIP.

Now if you are trying to play the game, it's a different thing. But for a MATURE relationship, it's a GREAT thing.
 
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