"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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is it an ego thing or...?

lamobatsman

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my story earlier about a girl from another country i reli liked that i didnt even get to sleep with her.

I am wondering why i feel like crap over a girl that i didnt even sleep with? is this normal or is it just an ego thing that i didnt get to sleep with her and smoe guy did who knew her far less time than me?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Who Dares Win

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There is nothing wrong in being pissed off when someone directly communicate you that you're not enough and despite the work you put in somethin, someone else will get more than you by doing less....you feel like a b1tch.

This explains why are pissed off and why a decent man will never wait a pay full price(marriage) to get a girl that others got for free.

The good news is not that you're less worth as a man, it simply means you did something wrong in the process and hopefully you learned the lesson.
 

lamobatsman

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thanx and i agree but iv spent teh last 3 months analysing where i went wrong and i cant figure out whyyy
 

Scars

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Probably ego.

Maybe this story will make you feel better:

When I was 20 I was in the party scene and getting a lot of pvssy. I met this girl who was visiting from Norway, which I found out was a foreign exchange student. She was supppperrrrr hot, and had everyone's attention. Tightest ass, beautiful lips, sexy face... mmm. We hit it off good, made out some, and she was really digging me. I got her number and we exchanged some texts and sh!t. I got her to agree to meet up with me, so I picked her up, and took her to my house (and had every intention of banging her). We were making out and things got pretty heavy, then she started making some jokes about me being too "old" for her. I knew she was joking/playing hard to get, but for some reason my logic kicked in and I realized I'm 20, and this girl is 17.. still a minor, and illegal to have sex with in my state.

What does Scars do? He chickens out. Takes her home, and cuts contact with her. I did the math and realized by the time she was 18, she would already be back in Norway.

Was I pissed at myself? Yes. I missed out on a good piece of ass.. beautiful peace of ass.

Well, it doesn't end there either.

I find out a few weeks later she is hanging out with (my drummer at the time) and partying with him and my guitarist., and had sex with my drummer.

He went into great detail about it, and it kind of pissed me off. I told him she was young, and that he should watch out.

Nothing ever came of it.

Eventually she went back to Norway, and that was that.

This was my ego at work. I met her first.. She liked ME first.. no, she LOVED me first. She wanted Scars' d!ck.. I could had given it to her.. but didn't.

I know I did the right thing in the end.. but it's still one of the stories I look back on and wonder what would happen if I just did it.. I kinda kick myself for it now.. but oh well.

But to answer your question.. ego.. yes, ego. It will go away with time. There's been a lot of "missed opportunities" I've had... dozens and dozens of girls I know I cold have fvcked but the timing wasn't write, I fvcked up, chickened out, she was too young, or whatever reason..but we all got um and you just have to accept it. As long as you learned a lesson from it, then you're on the right track.

-Scars
 

Who Dares Win

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Scars said:
Probably ego.

Maybe this story will make you feel better:

When I was 20 I was in the party scene and getting a lot of pvssy. I met this girl who was visiting from Norway, which I found out was a foreign exchange student. She was supppperrrrr hot, and had everyone's attention. Tightest ass, beautiful lips, sexy face... mmm. We hit it off good, made out some, and she was really digging me. I got her number and we exchanged some texts and sh!t. I got her to agree to meet up with me, so I picked her up, and took her to my house (and had every intention of banging her). We were making out and things got pretty heavy, then she started making some jokes about me being too "old" for her. I knew she was joking/playing hard to get, but for some reason my logic kicked in and I realized I'm 20, and this girl is 17.. still a minor, and illegal to have sex with in my state.

What does Scars do? He chickens out. Takes her home, and cuts contact with her. I did the math and realized by the time she was 18, she would already be back in Norway.

Was I pissed at myself? Yes. I missed out on a good piece of ass.. beautiful peace of ass.

Well, it doesn't end there either.

I find out a few weeks later she is hanging out with (my drummer at the time) and partying with him and my guitarist., and had sex with my drummer.

He went into great detail about it, and it kind of pissed me off. I told him she was young, and that he should watch out.

Nothing ever came of it.

Eventually she went back to Norway, and that was that.

This was my ego at work. I met her first.. She liked ME first.. no, she LOVED me first. She wanted Scars' d!ck.. I could had given it to her.. but didn't.

I know I did the right thing in the end.. but it's still one of the stories I look back on and wonder what would happen if I just did it.. I kinda kick myself for it now.. but oh well.

But to answer your question.. ego.. yes, ego. It will go away with time. There's been a lot of "missed opportunities" I've had... dozens and dozens of girls I know I cold have fvcked but the timing wasn't write, I fvcked up, chickened out, she was too young, or whatever reason..but we all got um and you just have to accept it. As long as you learned a lesson from it, then you're on the right track.

-Scars
Its not the case of which OP is talking about, just had the green light but choosed to let it go for your reason while Op is talking about his desire and work behind it only to have someone else get the prize with no work nor commitment.

In your case you chose not to and she moves to her second choice while in op's case he is the second choice which comes after her first one, the way you feel like crap in his case is not even comparable.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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goundra

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stuff happens, man. It IS just ego, cause you THINK that you are SO special that nobody should turn you down. Get real, man. SCORES of women are going to turn you down, if you do any scoring at all. :)
 

Scars

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Who Dares Win said:
Its not the case of which OP is talking about, just had the green light but choosed to let it go for your reason while Op is talking about his desire and work behind it only to have someone else get the prize with no work nor commitment.

In your case you chose not to and she moves to her second choice while in op's case he is the second choice which comes after her first one, the way you feel like crap in his case is not even comparable.
Damn, that hurt my ego a little bit.

-Scars
 

lamobatsman

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yes its different to your story!
but how can one tell if its an ego thing that you didnt sleep with her or that you genuinely liked her and couldnt get to be with her? how can one differentitate between it?
 

bigneil

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It's a manifestation of your desire to grow and improve OP. Embrace it and face the challenge.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Vigs

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I dont think it matters which one is the case. If it is ego, or you genuinely liked her, what matters is that she is gone. The absolute worst thing you can do is invest any more time or energy into her. Make her a villian in your mind, find something to do when your thoughts turn to her, smack yourself in the face, whatever you have to do to not think about it, but find other women that you can start fresh with and move on.
 
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