Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Oh, you mean like language? Use of tools? Ability to reason?wolf116 said:Yes! all animals. I have never seen any evidence that separates from the animal kingdom.
2. any such living thing other than a human being.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Playboy said:A man who wants an LTR is needy.
Women want LTR's.
Real men want to have power, presitige, growth.
A woman is not the focus or goal of his life.
Ironically this community is made up of guys who idolize and put sex up on a pedestool.
That is why for anyone who does not use the community as a hobby, a side project -- which is contributive to his own growth -- then whether the guy wants LTR's or multiple sex partners -- it's just not going to happen.
Women can sense when you look to fill a void with them.
You can deliver any line, practice any tactic, or fake all the hard to get attributes you want. If your life revolves around women then women can sense that.
A man who has a stable life and who has things going in his life besides her is a man that will intrique a woman because that is a man who is courageous and honest enough to be able to lay himself out there 100 percent unapoligetically without any need for any sort of outcome be it sex, MLTR, or LTR.
Some women may not accept his frame, but that does not affect his reality, afterall his reality doesnt center around women, and he is attractive enough that he always has his selection of women in any given time period, if he wishes to explore that.
A man who goes through the world looking for an LTR is a man who needs something outside of himself. He is a man who has not had the experience of a true LTR, or who is looking to replace his last LTR because he wants to redeem himself or refill that void that he lost -- ironically the reason he lost the girl the first time was because he was using her as an object, something to fill a void, to give him a sense of self.
You must cure this virus or be doomed to repeated failure with women for the rest of your life, regardless as to whether you are able to find a woman desperate enough to become your object of desire. Even if you do, and you may -- it wont last. She will have her needs met and then re-focus her attention on what she really wants -- a real man. It will start with her poking holes in you, being *****y, being tough to deal with. She will look to drive you away, so she can come up with an excuse for you to leave her, or for her to leave you -- for a real man. A man who does not look for women to feel complete.
Hope this answers your question.
I notice a lot of KJ's and rookies around here. You guys need to go out more, and to develope your life as well.
DittoPrinceBeavis said:No, a man who NEEDS a LTR is needy. A man who wants a LTR, is just a man who wants --or would prefer-- a LTR.
...and a woman can sense when you look to fill a void in them, whether its short or long term...either way is neediness..
I agree with you overall, though.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
great post!Snow Plowman said:Is LTRs AFC?
Yes and No
It's AFC when...
- He has no options so he wants to get in a LTR in hopes of getting long term affection
- He has no options so the first girl he meets he wants to try and marry
- He looks for women, for happiness
- A virgin and just wants to get laid, so he goes through the whole traditional courtship until she finally gives him sex
- Guys who want women to fill his neediness
- They go for LTR first before they even had sex yet (lol)
- Coming from a place of scarcity, there insecure, jealous, overprotective, etc. (These guys can usually lose there girl quickly)
It's NOT AFC when...
- The guy has no shortage of options and thoroughly screened the chick in order to see if she meets his standards, if she doesn't then he won't go in a LTR.
- Been with a chick for awhile, already had sex many times and the connection got built up over time. Eventually the guy wanted a relationship
- A guy who has no shortage of options and PREFER having LTRs, but he knows he can walk away from it any time because he can always meet a new chick the same day him and his LTR breaks up
- Women aren't his purpose in life, he has passions that he is moving towards, women are just a side thing, it has nothing to do with his purpose in life.
- Not quick to go into a LTR, especially if he's never had sex with her yet
Basically the difference is the mindset the guy is coming from. A guy who has options will never be quick to be in a LTR, he loves being single because he has freedom to meet all the chicks he wants. AFCs on the other hand are quick to go into LTRs because they don't have no other options.
Honestly if your a virgin or haven't interacted with many women, then you really have no clue as to what you want in a LTR. A lot of guys in the world (as well as many on here) just want to get a LTR because there coming from a place of scarcity. You got many guys who are determining before they even talk to a chick as to whether or not they'd make the girl LTR or ONS, or whatever.
Guys going in a relationship before they even had sex is SUPER NEEDY. What happens when the sex is HORRIBLE?
If you don't know how to keep a woman excited, then the sex in a LTR is surely going to go down until you get nothing. If you can't excite women without needing a LTR then your LTRs are going to be medicore at best.