"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Is it AFC to want a LTR?

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PrinceBeavis

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I'm not an animal. I am a man. A real man is able to maintain a LTR. An AFC is not.

Besides, even if you are an animal, the animal kingdom is full of species that mate monogamously for life
 

PrinceBeavis

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wolf116 said:
Yes! all animals. I have never seen any evidence that separates from the animal kingdom.
Oh, you mean like language? Use of tools? Ability to reason?
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Ok, so I went to Dictionary.com and typed in animal. There are multiple meanings but here is the one that stood out!!

2. any such living thing other than a human being.
 

Tyron

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We were once animals, and natural insticts have remained. Being intelligent species has given us a cortex that rationalises things and makes us human. However, in some conditions our brain will override the part of the brain that rationalizes and we will do things on instinct ie when in rage, mating/love. Then we are no better than animals.

And man is not a monogamous species. Else there would be a lot more life long partnerships, imo.

And it's not AFC thing to want LTR. LTR is when we have found a mate we can have offsping with. We are programmed, by nature, to protect them till they can take care of themselves. This is a LTR, LTR is not till death do us apart. Why would evolution want us to hang around when the child (children) has been raised.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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demonic

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You guy's can call me an AFC, but i get down that i've not got a LTR...i mean i get ons and stuff and i have an f-buddy...but it's like i feel ashamed of myself for not being the kind of guy who get's the girl and falls deeply in love with her.

I know it sounds bad, but i want all that romantic movie stuff to happen to me......now you laugh ;)

Demonic
 

ready123

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I always think it's funny when relationships are standardized by what happens with animals. It's just goofy logic to me. Humans have an evolved self-consciousness that allows them to make choices. Animals don't. If you wanna rationalize whats acceptable behavior for a guy by comparing yourself to monkeys, recognize monkeys also eat their own sht

Nothing wrong with LTR's, nothing wrong with sleeping around either. Just depends on what you're looking for in the moment and what you want out of women (and also, what you're willing to give)

Personally I think guys should go through a sleeping around phase first before the LTR. The experience gives you a ton of wisdom w/ respect to the opposite sex, fixes your internals and allows you to appreciate when you HAVE found a quality woman
 

Playboy

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A man who wants an LTR is needy.

Women want LTR's.

Real men want to have power, presitige, growth.

A woman is not the focus or goal of his life.

Ironically this community is made up of guys who idolize and put sex up on a pedestool.

That is why for anyone who does not use the community as a hobby, a side project -- which is contributive to his own growth -- then whether the guy wants LTR's or multiple sex partners -- it's just not going to happen.

Women can sense when you look to fill a void with them.

You can deliver any line, practice any tactic, or fake all the hard to get attributes you want. If your life revolves around women then women can sense that.

A man who has a stable life and who has things going in his life besides her is a man that will intrique a woman because that is a man who is courageous and honest enough to be able to lay himself out there 100 percent unapoligetically without any need for any sort of outcome be it sex, MLTR, or LTR.

Some women may not accept his frame, but that does not affect his reality, afterall his reality doesnt center around women, and he is attractive enough that he always has his selection of women in any given time period, if he wishes to explore that.

A man who goes through the world looking for an LTR is a man who needs something outside of himself. He is a man who has not had the experience of a true LTR, or who is looking to replace his last LTR because he wants to redeem himself or refill that void that he lost -- ironically the reason he lost the girl the first time was because he was using her as an object, something to fill a void, to give him a sense of self.

You must cure this virus or be doomed to repeated failure with women for the rest of your life, regardless as to whether you are able to find a woman desperate enough to become your object of desire. Even if you do, and you may -- it wont last. She will have her needs met and then re-focus her attention on what she really wants -- a real man. It will start with her poking holes in you, being *****y, being tough to deal with. She will look to drive you away, so she can come up with an excuse for you to leave her, or for her to leave you -- for a real man. A man who does not look for women to feel complete.

Hope this answers your question.

I notice a lot of KJ's and rookies around here. You guys need to go out more, and to develope your life as well.
 

PrinceBeavis

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Playboy said:
A man who wants an LTR is needy.

Women want LTR's.

Real men want to have power, presitige, growth.

A woman is not the focus or goal of his life.

Ironically this community is made up of guys who idolize and put sex up on a pedestool.

That is why for anyone who does not use the community as a hobby, a side project -- which is contributive to his own growth -- then whether the guy wants LTR's or multiple sex partners -- it's just not going to happen.

Women can sense when you look to fill a void with them.

You can deliver any line, practice any tactic, or fake all the hard to get attributes you want. If your life revolves around women then women can sense that.

A man who has a stable life and who has things going in his life besides her is a man that will intrique a woman because that is a man who is courageous and honest enough to be able to lay himself out there 100 percent unapoligetically without any need for any sort of outcome be it sex, MLTR, or LTR.

Some women may not accept his frame, but that does not affect his reality, afterall his reality doesnt center around women, and he is attractive enough that he always has his selection of women in any given time period, if he wishes to explore that.

A man who goes through the world looking for an LTR is a man who needs something outside of himself. He is a man who has not had the experience of a true LTR, or who is looking to replace his last LTR because he wants to redeem himself or refill that void that he lost -- ironically the reason he lost the girl the first time was because he was using her as an object, something to fill a void, to give him a sense of self.

You must cure this virus or be doomed to repeated failure with women for the rest of your life, regardless as to whether you are able to find a woman desperate enough to become your object of desire. Even if you do, and you may -- it wont last. She will have her needs met and then re-focus her attention on what she really wants -- a real man. It will start with her poking holes in you, being *****y, being tough to deal with. She will look to drive you away, so she can come up with an excuse for you to leave her, or for her to leave you -- for a real man. A man who does not look for women to feel complete.

Hope this answers your question.

I notice a lot of KJ's and rookies around here. You guys need to go out more, and to develope your life as well.

No, a man who NEEDS a LTR is needy. A man who wants a LTR, is just a man who wants --or would prefer-- a LTR.

...and a woman can sense when you look to fill a void in them, whether its short or long term...either way is neediness..

I agree with you overall, though.
 

comic_relief

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PrinceBeavis said:
No, a man who NEEDS a LTR is needy. A man who wants a LTR, is just a man who wants --or would prefer-- a LTR.

...and a woman can sense when you look to fill a void in them, whether its short or long term...either way is neediness..

I agree with you overall, though.
Ditto

My girlfriend and me have been in a relationship for over eight months and they have been great. Nothing AFC about them.

I choose to go for the highest amount of love set down by Aristotle and Plato explained easily by my professor of philosophy. "

"A true lover is someone who helps you grow."

Personally, I have grown in leaps and bounds because of the girl that i am dating that I could not have done as easily when I was single.

AFC's choose any girl for an LTR.
Men choose the best girl for an LTR.


comic_relief

PS: Stop going on and on about if a human/animal bit. It is annoying and very disruptive to the real issue.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Snow Plowman

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Is LTRs AFC?

Yes and No

It's AFC when...
- He has no options so he wants to get in a LTR in hopes of getting long term affection
- He has no options so the first girl he meets he wants to try and marry
- He looks for women, for happiness
- A virgin and just wants to get laid, so he goes through the whole traditional courtship until she finally gives him sex
- Guys who want women to fill his neediness
- They go for LTR first before they even had sex yet (lol)
- Coming from a place of scarcity, there insecure, jealous, overprotective, etc. (These guys can usually lose there girl quickly)

It's NOT AFC when...
- The guy has no shortage of options and thoroughly screened the chick in order to see if she meets his standards, if she doesn't then he won't go in a LTR.
- Been with a chick for awhile, already had sex many times and the connection got built up over time. Eventually the guy wanted a relationship
- A guy who has no shortage of options and PREFER having LTRs, but he knows he can walk away from it any time because he can always meet a new chick the same day him and his LTR breaks up
- Women aren't his purpose in life, he has passions that he is moving towards, women are just a side thing, it has nothing to do with his purpose in life.
- Not quick to go into a LTR, especially if he's never had sex with her yet

Basically the difference is the mindset the guy is coming from. A guy who has options will never be quick to be in a LTR, he loves being single because he has freedom to meet all the chicks he wants. AFCs on the other hand are quick to go into LTRs because they don't have no other options.

Honestly if your a virgin or haven't interacted with many women, then you really have no clue as to what you want in a LTR. A lot of guys in the world (as well as many on here) just want to get a LTR because there coming from a place of scarcity. You got many guys who are determining before they even talk to a chick as to whether or not they'd make the girl LTR or ONS, or whatever.

Guys going in a relationship before they even had sex is SUPER NEEDY. What happens when the sex is HORRIBLE?

If you don't know how to keep a woman excited, then the sex in a LTR is surely going to go down until you get nothing. If you can't excite women without needing a LTR then your LTRs are going to be medicore at best.
 

comic_relief

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Snow Plowman said:
Is LTRs AFC?

Yes and No

It's AFC when...
- He has no options so he wants to get in a LTR in hopes of getting long term affection
- He has no options so the first girl he meets he wants to try and marry
- He looks for women, for happiness
- A virgin and just wants to get laid, so he goes through the whole traditional courtship until she finally gives him sex
- Guys who want women to fill his neediness
- They go for LTR first before they even had sex yet (lol)
- Coming from a place of scarcity, there insecure, jealous, overprotective, etc. (These guys can usually lose there girl quickly)

It's NOT AFC when...
- The guy has no shortage of options and thoroughly screened the chick in order to see if she meets his standards, if she doesn't then he won't go in a LTR.
- Been with a chick for awhile, already had sex many times and the connection got built up over time. Eventually the guy wanted a relationship
- A guy who has no shortage of options and PREFER having LTRs, but he knows he can walk away from it any time because he can always meet a new chick the same day him and his LTR breaks up
- Women aren't his purpose in life, he has passions that he is moving towards, women are just a side thing, it has nothing to do with his purpose in life.
- Not quick to go into a LTR, especially if he's never had sex with her yet

Basically the difference is the mindset the guy is coming from. A guy who has options will never be quick to be in a LTR, he loves being single because he has freedom to meet all the chicks he wants. AFCs on the other hand are quick to go into LTRs because they don't have no other options.

Honestly if your a virgin or haven't interacted with many women, then you really have no clue as to what you want in a LTR. A lot of guys in the world (as well as many on here) just want to get a LTR because there coming from a place of scarcity. You got many guys who are determining before they even talk to a chick as to whether or not they'd make the girl LTR or ONS, or whatever.

Guys going in a relationship before they even had sex is SUPER NEEDY. What happens when the sex is HORRIBLE?

If you don't know how to keep a woman excited, then the sex in a LTR is surely going to go down until you get nothing. If you can't excite women without needing a LTR then your LTRs are going to be medicore at best.
great post!

Comic_Relief
 
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