"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Is it abnormal to be single past age 25?

shiguldo

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Hi,

I've known this site for a few years but recently I had to come back to address a concern. Somehow, everybody I know thats around mid-20's all have a long time bf/gf. I feel like I'm the only guy whose single.

Even our company's nicest AFC type guy whose called the "girl" have a gf though he's whipped.

I'd like to attend their lunches and all but with everyone attached, its kind of awkward for me. I know this site is about attracting girls but I wonder whether single people exist at around that age lol.

I've been out of a relationship for a year or so and been too busy with work to bother approaching girls lately for reference.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Master Bates

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By "single" do you mean not in a relationships, or not dating at all?
 

DonJuan11

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shiguldo said:
Hi,

I've known this site for a few years but recently I had to come back to address a concern. Somehow, everybody I know thats around mid-20's all have a long time bf/gf. I feel like I'm the only guy whose single.

Even our company's nicest AFC type guy whose called the "girl" have a gf though he's whipped.

I'd like to attend their lunches and all but with everyone attached, its kind of awkward for me. I know this site is about attracting girls but I wonder whether single people exist at around that age lol.

I've been out of a relationship for a year or so and been too busy with work to bother approaching girls lately for reference.
Yes, it is abnormal to be single past the age of 25.
 

shiguldo

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Wow fast reply. Single as in not dating at all. I recently moved to a new state and found a job after college so I barely know anybody here. I've been trying to chat with a lot of people and the girls at work think I'm the most friendly guy they know.

Of course I probably risk being labeled as the nice guy only but then they have bf anyways.

I broke up with my ex back in the old state and came here in cali without knowing much people. There are lots of young people here in early to mid 20's but they're all attached with me being the exception. Its also strange when I meet people from other companies my age, they're all attached or even married.
 

Randallpink83

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well its ok to be single at any age. of course... Its your own self esteem that is making you think you arent good enough.


Even if you were the only one single right now, why would that not be ok? Its bad to be different?


...you said you had reasons. Dare to be different. ;)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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shiguldo

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Hi Randall,

Thanks for the feedback :).
Well I actually enjoy being single, being able to approach girls without worrying lol. What makes it hard is when my peers/coworkers all start talking about their bf/gf all the time, comparing each others... I probably should look harder for other single friends (whether they're guys or girls) but then wherever I look, everybody seems taken.

Of course I'm not going to let it ruin my self-esteem but it sure is enough to question myself.
 

The Forms

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The people you're around really has a lot to do with how you feel about things like this. Go out and get some single friends and you'll feel a lot better.

I'm 25 and the vast majority of my friends are single. It's great. I don't ever feel weird about not having a girlfriend. I know tons of people my age have been in ltrs for years, or are married, but I don't really hang around many of them, so it doesn't bother me like it might if I was around people like that all the time.
 

mintxx

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my plan is to deliberately stay single until i'm at least 35. i'm still in law school and a young'un... i want to experience some success as a single man, or at least an unmarried man. i have a fantastic, gorgeous girlfriend at the moment so it's hard to reconcile my views with the situation but ultimately i think that guys who get married before they are developed to a certain extent will face serious problems later in life. i see it everywhere.
 

shiguldo

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hmm mintxx, but you already have a nice gf.

Are people all hooking up during college? Is that why everybody seems attached?

Thanks for the feedback forms.
 

Randallpink83

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shiguldo said:
Hi Randall,

Thanks for the feedback :).
Well I actually enjoy being single, being able to approach girls without worrying lol. What makes it hard is when my peers/coworkers all start talking about their bf/gf all the time, comparing each others... I probably should look harder for other single friends (whether they're guys or girls) but then wherever I look, everybody seems taken.

Of course I'm not going to let it ruin my self-esteem but it sure is enough to question myself.
well I will admit that all my friends that I grew up with are all already married now and most of them have kids... way crazy... I'm 24, and I don't feel at all ready for that. Even if I wanted to I seriously want to mature before I even attempt to become a husband/father.
Anyhow looking at them at times I did wonder if I'm falling behind. But nah, I'm ok with being different.

I choose to be single right now... Currently I'm meeting so many new girls and have about 4 hooked right now, a few I'm working on and still pulling in about 4-5 new numbers a week...

I sometimes feel sorry for my male friends at all the valuable lessons they are missing out on that I'm getting. But then again I'm sure they are happy.

We are all different. Just be confident in yourself. Do what you want. Thats happiness.

(plus i was in a LTR for 4yrs before I joined the community.... I'm trying to make up for lost singlehood...)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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*mattster

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to the OP: no!

i'm 25, "single", and loving the h3ll out of life.

the only way you're going to happy in the long term with somebody is by BEING HAPPY BY YOURSELF FIRST. a gf should complement you, NOT COMPLETE you. if your looking for the latter, i guarantee you will not find long-term happiness in a relationship.

although this is not something you can learn without a certain degree of pain, but it's worth it.

*mattster
 

Rebound Material

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Shiguldo. I feel you on this one except im 22, but hell im not that far. At work today I was the only guy server out in the dining room(im a waiter) and during our dinner break my manager who is around her mid 30's asked me randomly "Do you pay for girls on a date?".(Keep in mind that she asked me this in front of ALL my female co-workers and they were all either married or had a BF.). I said, "no, i believe that during the first 3 dates, or unless we're actually bf and gf we should split the expenses on our dates.". My manager then responds with "Oh, thats why you don't have a GF.". As much as I used to favor my manager among the other managers, I lost alot of respect from her tonight and infact despise her for it. They accused me of being a cheap ass and I argued with her and all the other girls that got in it. I was put on the spot light with no other guys to back me up. But even after all that, it made me think of why i was single or havent been on a consistant dating track for almost 2 yrs...
 

Randallpink83

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haha rebound material....

that sucks... In this situation would have been best to lie to them and tell them what they wanted to hear.
"If I take them out of course I would pay".


...Good lesson learned. This is a sh!t test in a sense... But more on a employer/employee - social/social relationship... I would just pass their test logically... instead of illogically like I would with a girl I'm gaming.
 

Monkey

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No its not abnormal.

Sure many people in their mid 20s do have relationships, but what is the quality of those relationships? - I'd say a large percentage of them are pretty crap.

Its always better to be single than in a run of the mill humdrum relationship just because.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Maxtro

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Shiguldo, what do you mean by single? If you have had girlfriends or dated in the past and are just not with anybody now, then that is fine. If you are like me and never had a girlfriend and never dated anybody then yes it is very abnormal.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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There is nothing wrong with being single in your twenties. I know people in their 30's who are still full blown cold blooded bachelors. They don't need a girl friend. They, just need a new peice off a$$ every week. Guys like this have the freedom to do whatever they want and not be tied down to one girl. So, do you want to be like everyone else and try to get a steady girlfriend? Or, go out and meet all kinds of women and lay them.
 

Blackmm

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(Raising hand slowly....)

Being 38, I have grown to be a little pickier than I was in my 20s because for one thing, I CAN be. I see things now that at 25, I wouldn't have either noticed or cared to notice about a chick. I look at a chicks long term value as well as her looks. Some things that I would rule a chick out on now are:

Does she smoke?
Does she have kids?
How is she fiscally?
Do her parents/family like me?
Does she have her own car?

Holding out for these factors may make me single for longer periods of time, but it's worth it.
 

frivolousz21

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Im 25 and recently single.

and I look forward to the next few years to be fun..

so far Ive had 3 LTRs and all failed.

I need to be single for a while.

but ill still go out and have fun
 

MooseGod

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I'm gonna go ahead and throw my theory out there: Most people that are constantly in relationships are very insecure and codependent. A lot of people are worried they'll die alone and so they cling to whatever they can get that seems like the best option at the time.

It's a lot like going to get a new car. Now personally, I'd rather shop around and do my research and a little test driving (hehe) before I commit to something that you're going to keep around for a number of years until it gets older and goes down in value...lmao

You will notice a lot of these people in relationships go with the "rational" decision (i.e., the Honda Civic) when they really want something completely different that suits their personality MUCH better. (a Corvette, or a Jeep Wrangler or something.) The car buying analogy pretty much stops here, but if you "settle" then the odds are you aren't going to be happy in the long run.

There's nothing wrong with being single, or as I like to call it "free" at any age. What works for one person, or a lot of people, doesn't work for everyone.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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